Life is screwy

Mar 28, 2009 17:00

Okay, for those two or three people who might be reading this, I will share a bit of news. I am still employed.

Imagine my shock.

See, I work for one of those huge corporations which have been laying off employees left, right, and center. We've had three rounds of layoffs since the first of the year, and numbers kept getting worse and worse - my department was slated at 67%. That's 67% GONE, not to remain. There were five of us in the same who were in the same job title/bracket, so it doesn't take a genius to do the math.

To be honest, I was completely ready for the layoff. Emotionally, mentally, and (cross your fingers) financially, I was ready. So, on Friday the 13th (gotta love the irony) we all show up to learn our fate.

And they decided to retain me. A new supervisor, who I'd spoken to maybe twice in my entire career, made the decision to keep me over all the others.

So, I've spent the last two weeks dealing with co-workers who are bitterly unhappy about teaching me how to do their particular duties, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to do the job of at least three people, and the rearrangement of all the plans I've been making for the last two months. No opportunity to play with my torch or my kiln, no chance to learn to how to do stained glass, and no summer off with my kids. Did I mention they're putting in HUGE water park about 2 miles from my house?

And let's admit it, I think I have a huge case of survivor's guilt along with a gigantic dollop of envy. For everyone who got laid off, it's over. No more of this insane game of Survivor, waiting to see who gets voted off the island, or in this case, out of the Dilbertville maze of padded cubes.

I have all these emotions swirling around me, and I've no idea how I'm supposed to feel. I had decided, back when this whole mess started, that I would leave it all up to the powers that be and not worry about it. I must have failed miserably in that effort, or why else would I feel so conflicted and miserable now?
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