"i've exposed your lies, baby. the underneath's no big surprise."
It's so cold here, but the sky is totally clear and the waxing moon illuminates everything. That is the one thing I really love about winter. The clarity, the penetrating moonlight that brightens what's in plain sight and deepens the shadows.
So as I mentioned before, Friday was something of a weird night. Good and bad at the same time. But it seems that seeing Kyle always brings both emotions to the surface. I've now decided that I am no longer allowed to fall for charming, narcissistic boys. They may be handsome and funny, but they prove to be equally shallow, even if they happen to also be youth ministers. He may tease me about all of those make-out sessions that I supposedly partook in by my locker, being one of the heathen who dared to go to a co-ed Catholic high school. I may tease him about his obsession with finding out what girls really think about chest hair. I explained to him that if we really like the guy, we generally could care less about how much or how little chest hair he has. In turn he told me that he's noticed that girls really don't base their feeling for a guy on things like that... they tend to take their time, get to know a guy before really deciding if they like him, whereas guys just know immediately if they like a girl. And that was the downward turn. That's not to say that I'm discounting the importance of sexual attraction, but I think there should be more to it than that. Oh, Kyle, he's cute and he loves to dance (the first time I salsa danced was with him and we were amazingly in step) and he's hysterical and I admire his outlook on life, but alas, he just doesn't see me. I'm over it. It was never anything anyway, but I'm so ready to meet someone who sees me.
So as I mentioned before, Friday was something of a weird night. Good and bad at the same time. But it seems that seeing Kyle always brings both emotions to the surface. I've now decided that I am no longer allowed to fall for charming, narcissistic boys. They may be handsome and funny, but they prove to be equally shallow, even if they happen to also be youth ministers. He may tease me about all of those make-out sessions that I supposedly partook in by my locker, being one of the heathen who dared to go to a co-ed Catholic high school. I may tease him about his obsession with finding out what girls really think about chest hair. I explained to him that if we really like the guy, we generally could care less about how much or how little chest hair he has. In turn he told me that he's noticed that girls really don't base their feeling for a guy on things like that... they tend to take their time, get to know a guy before really deciding if they like him, whereas guys just know immediately if they like a girl. And that was the downward turn. That's not to say that I'm discounting the importance of sexual attraction, but I think there should be more to it than that. Oh, Kyle, he's cute and he loves to dance (the first time I salsa danced was with him and we were amazingly in step) and he's hysterical and I admire his outlook on life, but alas, he just doesn't see me. I'm over it. It was never anything anyway, but I'm so ready to meet someone who sees me.