"so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here."
I wasn't in the mood to go out and be social last night, but I did anyway. And for the most part it went well, but somehow by the end, I felt really low. And I told Lindsay tonight that I just wouldn't be any fun to be around. So I stayed home and cleaned my room, did some laundry and thought about all of things I've been meaning to write about here, but just haven't managed to. But now that I'm sitting here attempting to, all thoughts have flown away.
I think it's safe to say that I'm in a bit of a funk. I've made no progress in finding another job, and I'm just trying to hang in there as much as I can. Actually, I do have one lead but it's very part time and would be involve placing foreign exchange students with host families in St. Louis. I received some information about it that I need to read and decide if it's something I would like to do. But right now, with Maritz, I just can't seem to get beyond how much it sucks to spend the majority of one's time on a task that is alternately frustrating and mind-numbing, but always ultimately not worth anything. I guess I want something a little more purposeful, because lately I don't feel like my life has any purpose. I feel like other aspects of my life would improve tremendously if I felt like my work made a difference, not to mention if it were connected to my interests and strengths. And getting certified for ESL in St. Louis is proving to be a little more elusive than I thought. The thought of going back to school again is somewhat daunting... what if I'm no longer able to do it? Which I realize is completely silly. I think it's the application process that scares me most. But really the main object right now is to actually find a school that offers it that isn't in Cape Girardeau. I may as well move to another state and get certified. I don't want to move southeast Missouri if I'm to move at this point.
Anyway, I'm going to retreat to fiction... pretend for awhile that this isn't my life, which I know is the healthiest way of dealing with one's reality;)
I think it's safe to say that I'm in a bit of a funk. I've made no progress in finding another job, and I'm just trying to hang in there as much as I can. Actually, I do have one lead but it's very part time and would be involve placing foreign exchange students with host families in St. Louis. I received some information about it that I need to read and decide if it's something I would like to do. But right now, with Maritz, I just can't seem to get beyond how much it sucks to spend the majority of one's time on a task that is alternately frustrating and mind-numbing, but always ultimately not worth anything. I guess I want something a little more purposeful, because lately I don't feel like my life has any purpose. I feel like other aspects of my life would improve tremendously if I felt like my work made a difference, not to mention if it were connected to my interests and strengths. And getting certified for ESL in St. Louis is proving to be a little more elusive than I thought. The thought of going back to school again is somewhat daunting... what if I'm no longer able to do it? Which I realize is completely silly. I think it's the application process that scares me most. But really the main object right now is to actually find a school that offers it that isn't in Cape Girardeau. I may as well move to another state and get certified. I don't want to move southeast Missouri if I'm to move at this point.
Anyway, I'm going to retreat to fiction... pretend for awhile that this isn't my life, which I know is the healthiest way of dealing with one's reality;)