"Whisper to me softly... move your hands across me... take my worries from me..."
Feeling a bit lovesick lately... There has been a lack of communication since we've both been out a lot. I admit I feel a teensy bit neglected, but this lack of communication is my own fault too. Heck, I was out with Joey all day yesterday and I'm going over to Mikami's tonight... Might stay over if he lets me. (Oh, need to remember to bring Chasing Amy with me tonight.) And I'm never the one who calls, so... I guess it makes it seem like I'm not interested in talking or anything.
I've been doing nothing but listening to songs that remind me of her, playing BL games, reading erotic fanfiction, watching Junjou Romantica (which I've watched all eight current episodes of). So that's probably a big part of why I feel this way, too.
I guess it's just that I'm nervous. Nervous about seeing her this weekend. Nervous about how much time we'll actually get to spend together. Nervous about what all we might do (no matter how much I'm looking forward to it). Nervous about being not being accomadating enough. Nervous about being overbearing.
...Afraid of being selfish. Afraid of another long-distance relationship after what happened last time. Afraid of feeling this intensely after only having known each other for a couple weeks. Afraid of having to live with it.
To be honest, probably a bit part of the reason why I like Junjou Romantica as much as I do is because the relationship between Misaki & Usagi and Hiro & Nowaki reminds me very much of what's going on between us. I'm a bit of a combination of Hiro -- due to being the older one -- and Misaki -- in my desire to be as accomodating as possible and not be any trouble. I share a bit of their fear and reluctance, too, and like them, not because the feelings aren't there. I suppose I'm much more like Hiro, really, now that I think about it, since I'm still getting over my last love.
I suppose this would be a lot easier if we were actually together. That's one thing those guys had on their side: everyday physical contact. Until that happens -- if that happens -- this is just a fantasy world I'm living in.
I know this sounds like a horribly depressing blog, and I'm not really as sad as I come across in it. I'm just... oh hell, I don't know what the word is.
...Lonely, I guess.
I've been doing nothing but listening to songs that remind me of her, playing BL games, reading erotic fanfiction, watching Junjou Romantica (which I've watched all eight current episodes of). So that's probably a big part of why I feel this way, too.
I guess it's just that I'm nervous. Nervous about seeing her this weekend. Nervous about how much time we'll actually get to spend together. Nervous about what all we might do (no matter how much I'm looking forward to it). Nervous about being not being accomadating enough. Nervous about being overbearing.
...Afraid of being selfish. Afraid of another long-distance relationship after what happened last time. Afraid of feeling this intensely after only having known each other for a couple weeks. Afraid of having to live with it.
To be honest, probably a bit part of the reason why I like Junjou Romantica as much as I do is because the relationship between Misaki & Usagi and Hiro & Nowaki reminds me very much of what's going on between us. I'm a bit of a combination of Hiro -- due to being the older one -- and Misaki -- in my desire to be as accomodating as possible and not be any trouble. I share a bit of their fear and reluctance, too, and like them, not because the feelings aren't there. I suppose I'm much more like Hiro, really, now that I think about it, since I'm still getting over my last love.
I suppose this would be a lot easier if we were actually together. That's one thing those guys had on their side: everyday physical contact. Until that happens -- if that happens -- this is just a fantasy world I'm living in.
I know this sounds like a horribly depressing blog, and I'm not really as sad as I come across in it. I'm just... oh hell, I don't know what the word is.
...Lonely, I guess.