throw you to the wind and you fly away

[amongstheclouds]

WHO: Cloud Strife and Yuffie Kisaragi.
WHAT: After weeks of hiding from everyone, Cloud finally asks Yuffie to meet up with him.
WHERE: The docks.
WHEN: Shortly after this.

Comments

[wutaian_rose]

"Thank....Thank you." she ducked her head a little. trying to figure out exactly why he had asked her to come. He was her friend...no question about that. But that didn't stop what he had done in the past few weeks, and it didn't stop how much he had hurt her.

Yuffie had spent weeks trying not to worry. And she had spent weeks failing miserably. She had a hundred questions all at once that she knew he would never answer. Cause no matter what version you were dealing with...you just didn't ask...You didn't talk about certain things...But weather or not she got some answers she had to ask something.

And no matter how broken he looked she had a good couple of weeks of anger and frustration and sadness and hurt behind her. And it all came rushing back seeing him.

"What the hell we're you thinking!" She finally cried out after a moment. She realized how loud that had been and quieted to continue. "What has been the point of...of any of this?" She asked clenching her fists.

[amongstheclouds]

For once, Cloud didn't meet her frustration with anger of his own. He just averted those tired eyes of his, looking to the ground instead of his friend. It was hard to face Yuffie after all this time, after everything he had done... and it was harder to accept the fact that he had succeeded in nothing but hurting her even more.

"I'm sorry, Yuffie." He spoke, seemingly drained of the fight within him. "I don't know what I can say to make this better..." Cloud paused for a moment, as if collecting up the nerve to continue. "I would take but all the hurt I've inflicted on you if I could, even if it meant taking that pain upon myself. After all... you don't deserve that. No one does. Except for..." The blond finally looked up again, blue, desolate eyes meeting with hers. "...me."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie stood there for a moment honestly wondering if she'd heard him right. Her eyes narrowing.

Exscuse him. What the hell did he think this was all about. What had...She fought her own thoughts and all she could come up with was a mess.

Not only was he just about as down as she'd seen anyone....Shiva he looked just defeated and that made her hurt all over again. There was so much that was wrong with all of this..

She felt her eye's start to blur as she fought back crying. She was just about at her wits end.

"Why would you say something like that?" She finally asked. "What the hell gives you the...Why..." She was at a huge loss for words or rational thoughts and finally in a fit of irrational(and she had to admit childish beyond beleif) behavior, She kicked out and hit Cloud in the leg.

"Why wont you fucking listen to me?"

[amongstheclouds]

It seemed lady luck was not on Cloud's side lately, for the leg Yuffie had kicked was the one with his broken ankle. And she had actually hit said broken ankle. A small little grunt of pain escaped him and he stumbled back a little before letting himself fall to his knees on the wharf, gloved hands pressed to the wood, wounded leg throbbing a little with the force of the ninja's kick.

Although he was still void of anger, he was a little irritated by the sudden pain his ankle was causing. He looked up at his friend, but his face was still without a frown. "My ankle is broken." The blond said quietly. "And I do listen. I just can't do what you want me to."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie jumped out of the way on instict as her friend fell...and she was so shocked it took a second for her to finally put two and two together and figure out what had happened.

Once it had finally clicked she felt another wave of guilt and tried really hard to keep herself calm.

"Well...you...you...You stupid jerk!" She cried failing miserably. She finally just gave up and dropped to throw her arms around Cloud.

"You stupid...insensitive...jerk" She cried holding on to him as tight as she could. Shiva, dispite all that had happened she missed him. She had missed him so much.

[amongstheclouds]

"I know. I know." Cloud said softly as she clung to him and yelled. He was defeated, it was easy to see, but he was also at his limit -- walls were being torn away, emotions were bubbling to the surface. He couldn't bring himself to hug her back, it wouldn't help any now, but for once, he was reacting with sincere honesty.

"I'm sorry. For everything. It was never my intention to hurt you, Yuffie. I know it's not my place to ask you for forgiveness... but if you can give it to me, then please do..."

He never thought he would ever be here, sitting on the docks, pathetic as can be, asking forgiveness from Yuffie as she hugged him.

[wutaian_rose]

"You idiot!" She continued to cling to her friend. Why wouldn't...This was so ridiculous. He said he listened to her, but he didn't. He didn't listen. Or he couldnt or something like that.

"Why wont you understand?" She let go just enough so she could see him. "The only person who has got to forgive you is you! That's the only thing!" She snuffled a little bowing her head, to just rest it on his shoulder.

"I forgave you already for anything that needed it. I forgive you. I forgive you." She fought crying again. "I forgive...Shiva.. Cloud Why wont you forgive you! Why not. Why?"

[amongstheclouds]

He didn't know what to do anymore.

Was this the extent of the damage he had done? Was this what he was doing to his friends? Was this... was this what it was to have everything fall apart?

Cloud was truly, honestly listening to her now -- even though he was not speaking back. He knew. He had always known, somewhere deep inside of him, the only person who needed to forgive him was himself. He knew, and it scared him to know Yuffie had hit that so accurately.

"Thank you, Yuffie..." His voice didn't change, quiet as ever. He wanted to hug her back, to let her know he was finally here, but he couldn't. "Please don't cry." The blond pleaded, having seen the teary eyes and hearing the fighting back of a sob in her voice. "I can't... I can't forgive myself until I defeat him. Only then will I be able to make everything right again, for everyone. That's when I can begin to forgive myself, Yuffie. It can't be any other way."

[wutaian_rose]

Of course

[amongstheclouds]

Do you even know anymore?

That had hit Cloud a little harder than it should have. She couldn't possibly be right, could she? He was beginning to lose sight of all hope, all reason, everything; but could it be true that the real reasons of his self-loathing were lost as well

[wutaian_rose]

She made her choice, no matter what had happened, she knew that Cloud would need help. No matter what kind he would take...she would give it. She wanted to help him. She turned her head so she could be heard.

"You don't have to do it alone." She said quietly. "Even if it isn't me that's helping you. You need help. No one can do everything by themselves."

She felt herself finally begin to cry and tears away. She didn't want to go away and know that he was gonna walk into a fight by himself, and...and...All she could imagine was last year and watching her friend fade into the lifestream. She was not going to let that happen again.

"It sucks to turn around and realize you have nobody who's gonna really care if you get hurt at that moment. It also sucks to realize that you've been hit and there's nobody there to heal you. So...just give us a chance okay? You have people who care about you....So let us help okay?"

[amongstheclouds]

Cloud had heard similar things before from his friends back in Radiant Garden. Lectures on how he wasn't alone, speeches on how friends could help him. And every time he would listen, but never obey -- this was his battle, after all. Could the darkness really go away if someone else defeated Sephiroth?

But now? He wasn't as sure of his objectives, or where to go. And -- oh no -- she was crying now. Actually crying. Cloud felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him.

"D-don't cry, I'm sorry..." The blond hesitated, trying to find the right words and create the right sentences. He didn't want to fight anymore, but he couldn't just offer empty promises. "Yuffie... this is my battle. I must fight it alone." Cloud said quietly, raising one hand to gently wipe away a few stray tears. "But, when the battle is over, I might need someone to be there... alright?"

[wutaian_rose]

She let him reach out to her and tried to let that calm her down despite the words he was saying that only kept being more familiar as they went on.

"Cloud...I can't...I cant..." She had to fight the catch in her breath that made it hard to breathe, hard to think. Everytime, she had just sat on the sidelines and had to wait for people she loved to come home. And some did...others had scares that meant they should be gone...then some never came back.

"I can't just wait," She began again trying to fight the stress that finally had caught up with her. "I cant just wait on the side lines and hope you are gonna come home! I've done that before! I've watched you..." Caught herself and tried to start again but only succeded in getting herself more uspset.

[amongstheclouds]

The more Yuffie cried, the less Cloud knew what to do. He felt guilty, awkward and confused -- what was he even supposed to do in this situation? He had never had to deal with a crying Yuffie before.

"You can't help me fight this battle." Cloud knew he was probably getting repetitive, but there was really nothing else he could say. "If I don't do this alone, it will mean nothing. Listen, Yuffie..." The blond hesitated, held back by the girl's sorrow. He hadn't mean to take away her happiness. "I can't ask or let you give direct help. The only thing you can give me is support. Someone who cares if I get hurt, who will be there to heal me when I get hit." Cloud said quietly, echoing her earlier words. "Please understand, Yuffie. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm doing this because I have to."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie started to formulate a thought, it took a moment. But it grew in her head until it became a plan. She was getting no where, and that never suited her. No matter what she was going to help. And if that meant waiting for the actual situation to bust in and help. Then fine. As long as she knew where he was then she could do something, anything. And besides...hopefully there wouldn't be anyone to fight.

"Cloud, what I need you to get is disapearing wont help. I will, as much as you will let me, I can kinda heal again, can help, just don't shut me out."Yuffie tried to seem as calm as she could still fighting her own innner mess. "Even if you wont let me fight know if there's a problem and how I can help! I'm not a kid! Let me help...please"

[amongstheclouds]

It wasn't the ideal answer -- but then, to Cloud, the ideal answer was 'alright, I'll leave you alone', and that certainly was not about to come from Yuffie. And maybe, just maybe... Cloud was grateful that it wasn't.

"I think... ever since being sent here, I've been trying to run away. It should have been obvious that I have nowhere to go, but I still..." The blond trailed off, not sure he wanted to finish his sentence. He was sure Yuffie could fill in the blanks, anyhow. "I can't go back to that house with Leon, so I'll remain where I am. But I am going to use the journal again, and I'll... stop hiding."

It might not have been much in another situation, but for Cloud? It was a giant step forward. This whole meeting with Yuffie was an improvement, really. And although he was coming back slowly, it was better than not coming back at all.

"I'll let you help where you can. I'm trusting you not to cross the boundaries I've given you." Cloud still didn't smile, but his tired eyes looked a little softer -- but only a little. "Alright,