throw you to the wind and you fly away

[amongstheclouds]

WHO: Cloud Strife and Yuffie Kisaragi.
WHAT: After weeks of hiding from everyone, Cloud finally asks Yuffie to meet up with him.
WHERE: The docks.
WHEN: Shortly after this.

Comments

[wutaian_rose]

Of course.

Fuck...it was always Sephiroth...always. He didn't need to say it for her to know. It wasn't fair! It wasn't! Why did this mess have to keep them in other worlds too? She knew what it was like to sit on the sidelines of a fight she would never understand, and it never got easier. It just didn't.

She wanted to ask the other her if she'd ever had to sit there and wonder if the person that came back from a fight was her friend...or something else. She wanted to ask if there were ever times that she would want to just break everything just to fix it. If there were ever times when she would say the wrong thing and just have to sit and wait for it to cause pain. If she ever had to listen outside a door to try and figure out why they were missing friends. If she had ever been told to stand and wait while everyone else went in and saw exactly how badly they were screwed.

All of that was causing her to try and be there that go around. She wanted to fix everything but...She wasn't Tifa....She wasn't Aeris....she wasn't Vincent or Cid or anyone who could do a better job just because they didn't break.

"What even do you have forgive yourself for? Do you even know anymore?" She asked half muffled in his shoulder, her shoulders shaking as she fought to stay as calm as she could. If she started to cry she didn't know if she'd be able to stop with all the tightness in her chest and the thoughts in her head.

[amongstheclouds]

Do you even know anymore?

That had hit Cloud a little harder than it should have. She couldn't possibly be right, could she? He was beginning to lose sight of all hope, all reason, everything; but could it be true that the real reasons of his self-loathing were lost as well?

The blond's hand clenched into a fist. "I... I think the darkness blinds me sometimes, but it doesn't excuse or erase my failures, before Rivelata and after." Cloud was trying desperately to make Yuffie understand. "I was helpless when the only place I have ever called home was destroyed. I couldn't do anything, and in the end I let them die. And Sephiroth... as long as he exists, he only continue to bring pain and misery - to everyone. I can't let that happen."

For someone who hated himself, Cloud was still stubborn and protective as ever. However, for the longest time he had felt absolutely helpless... so perhaps it was a good sign that he was slowly taking back his role as the silent guardian he had been before. "It's my fault he exists. I have to be the one to fix it."

[wutaian_rose]

She made her choice, no matter what had happened, she knew that Cloud would need help. No matter what kind he would take...she would give it. She wanted to help him. She turned her head so she could be heard.

"You don't have to do it alone." She said quietly. "Even if it isn't me that's helping you. You need help. No one can do everything by themselves."

She felt herself finally begin to cry and tears away. She didn't want to go away and know that he was gonna walk into a fight by himself, and...and...All she could imagine was last year and watching her friend fade into the lifestream. She was not going to let that happen again.

"It sucks to turn around and realize you have nobody who's gonna really care if you get hurt at that moment. It also sucks to realize that you've been hit and there's nobody there to heal you. So...just give us a chance okay? You have people who care about you....So let us help okay?"

[amongstheclouds]

Cloud had heard similar things before from his friends back in Radiant Garden. Lectures on how he wasn't alone, speeches on how friends could help him. And every time he would listen, but never obey -- this was his battle, after all. Could the darkness really go away if someone else defeated Sephiroth?

But now? He wasn't as sure of his objectives, or where to go. And -- oh no -- she was crying now. Actually crying. Cloud felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him.

"D-don't cry, I'm sorry..." The blond hesitated, trying to find the right words and create the right sentences. He didn't want to fight anymore, but he couldn't just offer empty promises. "Yuffie... this is my battle. I must fight it alone." Cloud said quietly, raising one hand to gently wipe away a few stray tears. "But, when the battle is over, I might need someone to be there... alright?"

[wutaian_rose]

She let him reach out to her and tried to let that calm her down despite the words he was saying that only kept being more familiar as they went on.

"Cloud...I can't...I cant..." She had to fight the catch in her breath that made it hard to breathe, hard to think. Everytime, she had just sat on the sidelines and had to wait for people she loved to come home. And some did...others had scares that meant they should be gone...then some never came back.

"I can't just wait," She began again trying to fight the stress that finally had caught up with her. "I cant just wait on the side lines and hope you are gonna come home! I've done that before! I've watched you..." Caught herself and tried to start again but only succeded in getting herself more uspset.

[amongstheclouds]

The more Yuffie cried, the less Cloud knew what to do. He felt guilty, awkward and confused -- what was he even supposed to do in this situation? He had never had to deal with a crying Yuffie before.

"You can't help me fight this battle." Cloud knew he was probably getting repetitive, but there was really nothing else he could say. "If I don't do this alone, it will mean nothing. Listen, Yuffie..." The blond hesitated, held back by the girl's sorrow. He hadn't mean to take away her happiness. "I can't ask or let you give direct help. The only thing you can give me is support. Someone who cares if I get hurt, who will be there to heal me when I get hit." Cloud said quietly, echoing her earlier words. "Please understand, Yuffie. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm doing this because I have to."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie started to formulate a thought, it took a moment. But it grew in her head until it became a plan. She was getting no where, and that never suited her. No matter what she was going to help. And if that meant waiting for the actual situation to bust in and help. Then fine. As long as she knew where he was then she could do something, anything. And besides...hopefully there wouldn't be anyone to fight.

"Cloud, what I need you to get is disapearing wont help. I will, as much as you will let me, I can kinda heal again, can help, just don't shut me out."Yuffie tried to seem as calm as she could still fighting her own innner mess. "Even if you wont let me fight know if there's a problem and how I can help! I'm not a kid! Let me help...please"

[amongstheclouds]

It wasn't the ideal answer -- but then, to Cloud, the ideal answer was 'alright, I'll leave you alone', and that certainly was not about to come from Yuffie. And maybe, just maybe... Cloud was grateful that it wasn't.

"I think... ever since being sent here, I've been trying to run away. It should have been obvious that I have nowhere to go, but I still..." The blond trailed off, not sure he wanted to finish his sentence. He was sure Yuffie could fill in the blanks, anyhow. "I can't go back to that house with Leon, so I'll remain where I am. But I am going to use the journal again, and I'll... stop hiding."

It might not have been much in another situation, but for Cloud? It was a giant step forward. This whole meeting with Yuffie was an improvement, really. And although he was coming back slowly, it was better than not coming back at all.

"I'll let you help where you can. I'm trusting you not to cross the boundaries I've given you." Cloud still didn't smile, but his tired eyes looked a little softer -- but only a little. "Alright, Yuffie?"

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie was trying not smile and like with crying, she failed again. She threw her arms back around him to hug her friend again. She was still not entirely happy with the results, but concidering she had spent quite a while worried that she would never hear from him again or that he would make her leave or tell her to go away again...this was an improvement.

"You can trust me." Yuffie said finally starting to feel like she was getting somewhere. "I promise!" I promise that I will do what I can to help you...and hopefully you wont hate me.

Yuffie thought for a moment and still in the act of having practically tackled Cloud, had a thought.

"Um...Cloud? While I'm here...do you want me to fix that?"

[amongstheclouds]

Cloud nodded. "I know." The Yuffie he knew in Radiant Garden was one of his closest friends, and this Yuffie was the same to the other Cloud. So, he had always known he could trust her.

The blond let her hug him again, silently thankful she wasn't crying anymore.

"Fix that..?" He echoed, pausing a second before realizing she was talking about his broken ankle. "Oh... if you have the capability to do so now, then alright..."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie backed up a bit so she was sitting on her heels and wiped at her face a bit tryng to erase the evidence of her tears. This was a good thing, he was asking for help, she could help and he was letting her.

"Yep! I kept getting lost on my way to the clinic...and my leg wasn't getting any better so I fixed it." Granted....it had taken like...hours and hours to get right, but now it was working at a....well her powers kinda worked.

Yuffie huffed and waited for a second, when Cloud didn't stick his leg oout himself she rolled her eyes and grabbed his pant leg and yanked it so she could heal it.

She closed her eyes and focused on the spell. And felt nothing.

She opened them glared at the materia strapped into the bracer on her wrist knocked it against her boot a few times and tried again.

This time she felt the spell and she cast twice in quick sucsession before she lost the abillity again.

[amongstheclouds]

"..." Cloud let Yuffie yank his leg closer to try using a healing spell, quiet as she did so. He watched curiously, and found a little comfort in the fact that Yuffie was using a spell that also existed back in the world he was from. It was nice to know that despite so many differences, some things remained the same.

After the spell had finished repairing the damaged bone of his ankle, Cloud experimentally rolled his foot in a few circles. It didn't hurt anymore, so he dared to finally stand up. He continued to move and tap it against the wharf before deciding that yes, it was now healed.

"...thank you, Yuffie." He said quietly, glancing down at her. Cloud then extended his hand as an offer to help her up.

[wutaian_rose]

"You're Welcome!"

Yuffie admired her handiwork with a grin. She might not hve all of her powers back but she was not useless in the slightest, nope nope nope!
She took the offered hand and stood up brushing off her damn dress....why was she wondered why she was even bothering. With her whole lack of caring what people were thinking she mentally vowed to get boys cloths. they would be easier to move in damnit.

Finally turning back to the situation at hand she looked up at Cloud questioningly. She wasn;t exactly sure what she was supposed to say...or do...or anything. Cloud was better off then when she had found him...but that didn't do much in the way of knowing the plan...if there was one. Also...she had a headache. Stupid spells and crying.

"What's your plan spikey? You said you weren't going back to Leon, and you have a place to stay right? You have food, you're not hiding a secret killing disease, or falling off a cliff any time soon right?" She listed off everything she could think of....granted a few were a bit interesting but they made sense to her having dealt with a Cloud for years.

[amongstheclouds]

It might have been only a small thing to have his ankle (which was already healing on its own and causing only discomfort at this point) suddenly repaired, but it did lift his spirits a little bit.

"I'm not sure..." He answered truthfully, shrugging. "I like where I'm staying now, and besides, Leon can just sit in that dirty house eating instant meals for the rest of his life for all I care." Although Cloud had been the one to do all the cooking and cleaning when he was staying with Leon, the blond had never felt actually obliged to do those things. And now that he wasn't staying there anymore? Well he just didn't care what Leon did with his time or the house.

Cloud glanced at her rather curiously when she listed off the last two, and quietly shook his head. Sephiroth didn't really count as a fatal disease... "I'm fine, Yuffie. You don't have to worry."

[wutaian_rose]

Yuffie rolled her eyes at the whole deal with Leon. She had come to understand that well...little things could set people off. But that made no sense in certain cases...she could remember setting off every member of her group at least once. Her least favorite had been somehow pissing off Vincent and him not answering his phone for like a week. She still didn't know what she did.

"I swear I dont understand you two." she said under her breath. "what is the problem anyways.." she bit at her nail just a little bit, grumbling quitely to herself. She shook her head to clear it and rejoined the conversation.

"I may not have to worry but..I do. I really really do. I mean somebody has got to right?" She grinned. "Think of it as my job."