hhmm. hoohum.
so. this morning I woke up late (six fifty) and left early (seven ten) and though I'm not sure how it happened, I am sure that I was NOT fully awake when I left. and because of not being fully awake I fell over on the bus and stepped on some poor lady and nearly ended up on my butt. and it sort of set a not sour but anxious or ill prepared or completely disfunctional mood for the entire day.
this morning my boss asked me if I was tired in a oh dear you look real worn out and it's only tuesday should I be concerned sort of way. and I realized, I *was* really tired. and then she checked with me multiple times so far today to make sure that I'm not feeling overhwelmed by tasks in this busy time of the year (I'm not, but I do wish I felt like I got ANYTHING done...I feel like I'm halfway on hundreds of projects and cant get them done, and here I am sitting in for reception for the fourty five minutes she's gone and I was like, hey I know, I'll do the web calendar updates, but I cant get to our website and hence to the calendar. so pretty much I am just sitting here looking real sad at the front desk.
and feeling sort of sad too, which is silly because after falling all over the lady and then succesfully NOT falling over anyone else on my T & second bus rides, I was feeling okay (though tired, as pointed out by my boss) and then I had a jolly time in new faculty and staff orientation with my new friend Alice and then got a few things I needed to done, but now. I just feel. LOW. and it's strange. because recently I've been feeling...good.
now, that's a weird thing to say, what I mean is that I've been feeling OKAY about everything. my life is on what feels like the right path, my apartment is great and I cant complain about anything. I'm feeling happy and mentally healthy ... all of my relationships seem to be having the affect (effect?) on me that they should, which is to say I dont spend all day freaking out waiting for an email or a phone call, and even when they happen they arent as powerful emotionally as they have been in the past, whcih for me, is a big deal. and so to find myself feeling glum, it's sort of a surprise. or at least unpleasant.
huh. that was all sort of a nonsensical way of saying I'm feeling a little blue today. I think it might be that everyoen is back to school by now, and I'm feeling a little lonesome for them. also my mom and child sister were supposed to visit for labor day, and they arent. and also my twin sister is moving to philly without even spending a day with me first. and it's weird to have a regular adult job and be new and not know anyone or how to do anything I want to do without asking and to fall over on people on the bus. but now I have a yummy free lunch so I guess I cant really complain.
this morning my boss asked me if I was tired in a oh dear you look real worn out and it's only tuesday should I be concerned sort of way. and I realized, I *was* really tired. and then she checked with me multiple times so far today to make sure that I'm not feeling overhwelmed by tasks in this busy time of the year (I'm not, but I do wish I felt like I got ANYTHING done...I feel like I'm halfway on hundreds of projects and cant get them done, and here I am sitting in for reception for the fourty five minutes she's gone and I was like, hey I know, I'll do the web calendar updates, but I cant get to our website and hence to the calendar. so pretty much I am just sitting here looking real sad at the front desk.
and feeling sort of sad too, which is silly because after falling all over the lady and then succesfully NOT falling over anyone else on my T & second bus rides, I was feeling okay (though tired, as pointed out by my boss) and then I had a jolly time in new faculty and staff orientation with my new friend Alice and then got a few things I needed to done, but now. I just feel. LOW. and it's strange. because recently I've been feeling...good.
now, that's a weird thing to say, what I mean is that I've been feeling OKAY about everything. my life is on what feels like the right path, my apartment is great and I cant complain about anything. I'm feeling happy and mentally healthy ... all of my relationships seem to be having the affect (effect?) on me that they should, which is to say I dont spend all day freaking out waiting for an email or a phone call, and even when they happen they arent as powerful emotionally as they have been in the past, whcih for me, is a big deal. and so to find myself feeling glum, it's sort of a surprise. or at least unpleasant.
huh. that was all sort of a nonsensical way of saying I'm feeling a little blue today. I think it might be that everyoen is back to school by now, and I'm feeling a little lonesome for them. also my mom and child sister were supposed to visit for labor day, and they arent. and also my twin sister is moving to philly without even spending a day with me first. and it's weird to have a regular adult job and be new and not know anyone or how to do anything I want to do without asking and to fall over on people on the bus. but now I have a yummy free lunch so I guess I cant really complain.