It's Official...
I just sent in my SIR (student intent to register), and I'm officially NOT going to UCSB. I've already signed the lease for my apartment, and have registered for classes and accepted the financial aid here at Davis for next year. I have mixed feelings about the issue. The last few weeks have been excrutiatingly stressful due to being pulled down south by freindships, but also beign pulled by responsibility and doing the "right thing" for myself. It feels good to have it officially said and over with, but there is still a feeling of dissapointment. In all honesty, it's more a feeling of guilt. If I had moved to UCSB I would have made people happy, relationship dynamics easier, and made myself happy too. However, it would have only been a short term happiness since I would have to own up to my responsibilities later...and I'm just not that kind of person. Perhaps I'm a tight wad, an overachiever, a square, but it'd gotten to me where I am today, and I'm proud of where I am. I feel like I'm succeeding and reaching the goals I want to reach (slowly, but surely!). Maybe I'm a tight wad, but, it's who I am. I think that going to UCSB and ignoring the repercussions was the "easier" of the two paths, going to Davis will make me stronger. My inability to meet new people and make freinds is a WEAKNESS I need to overcome. It's scary, but I think I can do it. Remaining at Davis was the right decision. I love you all very much, especially to my peeps down south.