maybe i do suck at life
so, i was all excited about making friends. i did it on my own, without becca or nathan or jessie or maggi there to make me seem funnier than i am or to laugh at my bad jokes. i did it alone, and people enjoyed my company. i was so pround, because i did it alone, which must mean that i'm a genuinely funny person who other people will enjoy. so dumb. what i wasnt noticing is that they like me because i act like nathan, or becca, or maggi, or whoever. they dont like me, they like the personalities i picked up from my other friends. theres my mistake. they love me when i speak geek and act like nathan, or when i take a joke too far and act like becca. this is just stuff i've picked up from other people. they dont really like me, they like my friends. this is how one goes about failing at life, when you realize that all the friends you've made since you started trying dont actually like you, they like the person you turn into when your acting like your friends. i fail.