christmas
the christmas commercials have started, and its got me thinking about christmas. and how i might have already signed away my holidays. and i'm thinking about what i should get people. like i keep seeing stuff that would be good for nathan, and i see things that are good for becca, and stuff for maggie and mom. even bob. i think i'm turning into an old lady, thinking about christmas gifts before thanksgiving. i cant help it though, i just keep thinking about it. i like christmas, i enjoy opening presents. even though i'm supposed to be an adult and everything i still feel like a little kid when i tear open wrapping paper and whatnot. i just love how happy everyone is, and how theres good cheer, ans snow. i like snow, it makes me feel safe, except when i'm driving in it. but i just really wish that christmas could be like it used to be, with dad and grandma there being happy, and making ham and getting drunk on buttered rum. i miss all that, and this year is gonna be even worse, because i might not even get to go to the compound. but its still gonna be good, because its christmas, and christmas is always wonderful.