Unsent letters... the things you need to say but just cant
This is quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. However, I am an adult now, and I've got a life to live. I know that you worry about me and my "issues" and the direction my life is headed. I am happy with the way my life is going, I am in love with Nick and while I do not recall telling you that I could not see myself married to him, I've changed my mind. Neither of us provides more support or love in this relatinship. We vierw each other as equal people going in the same direction. I am positive I will never regret my time with him, and if you really thing I will then please, just let me regret it... let me make this so called mistake.
As for religion and God... I support you whole heartedly on your quest for peace and enlightenmnt. I, on the otherhand, have my own personal relationship with God and while I do not follow a direct religion or lifestyle _ I am a good person. I understand there is discrepancy as to what a "good person" is, but I am honest, I don't steal, I am respectful of others, I do not murder or defile other's names, I try not to disrespect you [even if I don't always obey]. I'll help anyone in need, including animals. I've got a big heart and even though I'm usually the one that gets hurt, I use it.
I will read the Bible cover to cover, not only at your request, but because I do believe it is one of the greatest stories there is. It is doubtful that I will change my lifestyle because I have become happily accustomed to it and my personal religious belifs. This is another thing I know you'll be unhappy with, but if I am going to suffer eternal damnation for it - so be it.
God may have told the Apostles what to write in the Bible; however, he also gave everyone free will - the ability to believe in adn do whatever they want. In addition, no one is perfect- no one can fit the lifestyle the Bible draws out for them 100% of the ime. I am a fatalist at heart - everything happens for a reason - so if I date someone that isn't an ISREALITE, so what?
As for the direction my life is headed, I am finally at peace in relation to my career. Being a doctor was a nice dream, but for me, it stopped being a dream a long time ago. I guess I never said antyhgin in fear of your reaction. I've wanted to teach for a long time now, and believe me when I say telling you that was very difficult.
I don't think I have issues relating to my childhood that are so deep I choose to only associate myself with caucasion people. I do KNOW that I've got a problem being accepted and a huge fear of letting everyone down. All my life everyone's built me up to be this really smart and beautiful girl- it's so hard to live up to expectations. As for the fact that my friends haven't seemed constant throughout, it's usually my decision. I've learned a lot about myself, adn I usually end friendships so that I don't get hurt in the long run... that's me. Also you're so conserned with my lack of multicultural friends... if you've noticed, I don't bring anyone home and I really don't go to anyone's house, except Courtney, Jenna, Immanuel, Megan, Maria, and sometimes Breman... they are my six closest friends, you don't get many new CLOSE friends as time goes on. You haven't met all of my friends, so I don't think that it is a fair accusation that I do not have a wide variety of friends. And I can only name three people you've met from school... so please just give me a break where my friends are concerned.
As for religion and God... I support you whole heartedly on your quest for peace and enlightenmnt. I, on the otherhand, have my own personal relationship with God and while I do not follow a direct religion or lifestyle _ I am a good person. I understand there is discrepancy as to what a "good person" is, but I am honest, I don't steal, I am respectful of others, I do not murder or defile other's names, I try not to disrespect you [even if I don't always obey]. I'll help anyone in need, including animals. I've got a big heart and even though I'm usually the one that gets hurt, I use it.
I will read the Bible cover to cover, not only at your request, but because I do believe it is one of the greatest stories there is. It is doubtful that I will change my lifestyle because I have become happily accustomed to it and my personal religious belifs. This is another thing I know you'll be unhappy with, but if I am going to suffer eternal damnation for it - so be it.
God may have told the Apostles what to write in the Bible; however, he also gave everyone free will - the ability to believe in adn do whatever they want. In addition, no one is perfect- no one can fit the lifestyle the Bible draws out for them 100% of the ime. I am a fatalist at heart - everything happens for a reason - so if I date someone that isn't an ISREALITE, so what?
As for the direction my life is headed, I am finally at peace in relation to my career. Being a doctor was a nice dream, but for me, it stopped being a dream a long time ago. I guess I never said antyhgin in fear of your reaction. I've wanted to teach for a long time now, and believe me when I say telling you that was very difficult.
I don't think I have issues relating to my childhood that are so deep I choose to only associate myself with caucasion people. I do KNOW that I've got a problem being accepted and a huge fear of letting everyone down. All my life everyone's built me up to be this really smart and beautiful girl- it's so hard to live up to expectations. As for the fact that my friends haven't seemed constant throughout, it's usually my decision. I've learned a lot about myself, adn I usually end friendships so that I don't get hurt in the long run... that's me. Also you're so conserned with my lack of multicultural friends... if you've noticed, I don't bring anyone home and I really don't go to anyone's house, except Courtney, Jenna, Immanuel, Megan, Maria, and sometimes Breman... they are my six closest friends, you don't get many new CLOSE friends as time goes on. You haven't met all of my friends, so I don't think that it is a fair accusation that I do not have a wide variety of friends. And I can only name three people you've met from school... so please just give me a break where my friends are concerned.