Hello God, its me, Lauren... are you there?
Well, here I am again... more thoughts than I can handle. I don't know why I continue to write in this journal, its ruining me. People read my thoughts and change their opinions of me and ultimately find something about my inner personality that they do not like. Whatever though, I mean if you don't like me for who I really am, then I don't want to know you anyway... I learned that last night, or early this morning how ever you see fit to call it. On some level I already know this, but at the same time sometimes you need a little reassurance on whatever is going through your head.
I don't get it though... I think I'm a really nice person, sometimes too nice. If I weren't me, I think I'd totally want to be with me (friends and otherwise). I'm fairly intelligent and a little funny, I'm really quirky which always calls for an interesting time. I'm adventerous and outgoing... I'm up for anything, any time, any where. I feel like I'm trying to sell myself in my own journal, but what difference does it really make? I mean, if I can't sell the real thing, then I probably can't sell me on paper. I shouldn't have to sell me on paper, damn it. I'm a good person... no, I'm a great person and if you can't see that, if you don't agree... fuck you cause I don't need you any more. I never needed you, I just liked the idea of you...
Man, I am losing it. I'll probably delete this entry later...