park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
So, I watched Twilight yesterday because my dad rented it, just as I predicted he would. He only watched about 45 minutes of it, though, before he got bored and left. I sat through the whole thing, and ...it was not very good. It's not like that caught me by surprise, but I mean, it was pretty bad, far worse than what I would have expected from the director of Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown. I blame both the source material and the performances for this.
I knew going in that the story was going to be pretty ridiculous, but since it's been a few years since I'd read the book, I'd forgotten just how absurd it really is. First of all, I fail to see why Bella's classmates are so eager to be friends with her. Yes, she's got that fresh "new student" smell that I'm sure is initially appealing, but she's not that friendly and is rather standoffish. That's the kind of person whom you want to bring into your tight-knit circle?
Then again, maybe the people of Forks are just that dense. After all, Bella, who's not that smart (I'll get back to in a second), is the only one who manages to discover the Cullens' DARK HIDDEN SECRET? Maybe it's not fresh water but acid rain that falls upon the town. How else can you explain a foolish 16 year old girl connecting the dots while everyone else thinks, "UH, WE NEVER SEE THEM ON SUNNY DAYS BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS, LIKE, GO CAMPING AND STUFF!"
So, Bella. She's not really a heroine I felt any urge to root for. She's so in lust with Edward that she disregards any concern or even her parents' concern over her safety, despite the fact that HE COULD, I DON'T KNOW, KILL HER. Then she's so eager to become a vampire herself that she offers her neck to Edward. You've known the guy for two months; why don't you wait a little before doing something rash and completely life-endingchanging. IT'S NOT LIKE GETTING A TATTOO; ONE'S VAMPIRISM IS PERMANENT. (Unless you come into contact with some pointy sticks and somehow manage to impale yourself upon them. Or whatever else kills vampires in Meyer-verse, because I'm too lazy to look it up.)
Let's move on to the two main leads. I thought that they complimented each other well: Kristen Stewart didn't even look like she was trying and thus gave one of the most tedious performances I've ever seen, while Robert Pattinson overshot the broody mien and was unintentionally hilarious in every serious scene he was in. Maybe that's why Bella wasn't remotely scared of Edward even though she certainly should have been; there was no sense of danger emanating from Edward, like the worst thing he could do to you was simply scowl at you (and possible look constipated, which tells you that Pattinson must have studied Keanu Reeves' acting "technique" before filming this). Same goes for the guy who played JacksonJasper; it looked more like he wanted to piss his pants when in Bella's presence rather than go for her jugular.
The story/movie totally drags, too, as I remember checking the clock at the hour and 20 minute mark and thinking, "When is something of interest going to happen? Better yet, when is this movie going to end?" Because SMeyer is more concerned with exposing Edward's glittery skin than having a decent plot line. Gosh, was that excruciating to watch. The special effects were cheesy, too, especially the speed running scenes. I get that there was a limited budget, so they couldn't get Transformers-caliber effects, but what they did were so laughable. They should have saved that money and simply used shots that showed Bella's point of view instead.
Things I did like, though they were few:
I was talking about the movie over lunch with my parents today and filling my dad in on what he'd missed when he said that he initially thought it was maybe an updated version of The Twilight Zone. Oh, he could not have been more wrong.
I mentioned the FIDM motion picture costume design exhibit awhile back, and today I found this wonderful post that discusses The Dark Knight costumes in great detail. I highly recommend checking it out, as it's well worth the read.
I knew going in that the story was going to be pretty ridiculous, but since it's been a few years since I'd read the book, I'd forgotten just how absurd it really is. First of all, I fail to see why Bella's classmates are so eager to be friends with her. Yes, she's got that fresh "new student" smell that I'm sure is initially appealing, but she's not that friendly and is rather standoffish. That's the kind of person whom you want to bring into your tight-knit circle?
Then again, maybe the people of Forks are just that dense. After all, Bella, who's not that smart (I'll get back to in a second), is the only one who manages to discover the Cullens' DARK HIDDEN SECRET? Maybe it's not fresh water but acid rain that falls upon the town. How else can you explain a foolish 16 year old girl connecting the dots while everyone else thinks, "UH, WE NEVER SEE THEM ON SUNNY DAYS BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS, LIKE, GO CAMPING AND STUFF!"
So, Bella. She's not really a heroine I felt any urge to root for. She's so in lust with Edward that she disregards any concern or even her parents' concern over her safety, despite the fact that HE COULD, I DON'T KNOW, KILL HER. Then she's so eager to become a vampire herself that she offers her neck to Edward. You've known the guy for two months; why don't you wait a little before doing something rash and completely life-endingchanging. IT'S NOT LIKE GETTING A TATTOO; ONE'S VAMPIRISM IS PERMANENT. (Unless you come into contact with some pointy sticks and somehow manage to impale yourself upon them. Or whatever else kills vampires in Meyer-verse, because I'm too lazy to look it up.)
Let's move on to the two main leads. I thought that they complimented each other well: Kristen Stewart didn't even look like she was trying and thus gave one of the most tedious performances I've ever seen, while Robert Pattinson overshot the broody mien and was unintentionally hilarious in every serious scene he was in. Maybe that's why Bella wasn't remotely scared of Edward even though she certainly should have been; there was no sense of danger emanating from Edward, like the worst thing he could do to you was simply scowl at you (and possible look constipated, which tells you that Pattinson must have studied Keanu Reeves' acting "technique" before filming this). Same goes for the guy who played JacksonJasper; it looked more like he wanted to piss his pants when in Bella's presence rather than go for her jugular.
The story/movie totally drags, too, as I remember checking the clock at the hour and 20 minute mark and thinking, "When is something of interest going to happen? Better yet, when is this movie going to end?" Because SMeyer is more concerned with exposing Edward's glittery skin than having a decent plot line. Gosh, was that excruciating to watch. The special effects were cheesy, too, especially the speed running scenes. I get that there was a limited budget, so they couldn't get Transformers-caliber effects, but what they did were so laughable. They should have saved that money and simply used shots that showed Bella's point of view instead.
Things I did like, though they were few:
- Billy Burke as Bella's dad. One of the few scenes that I felt had some moment of truth was when Bella told him to be nice to Edward right before she introduced the two of them, and he mimed a halo over his head. That felt real, like it was improvised, even.
- The girls who played Bella's friends. I can't remember the characters' names, but they brought an energy that was lacking throughout most of the film.
- Radiohead over the end credits, although the movie is so not worthy of the song.
I was talking about the movie over lunch with my parents today and filling my dad in on what he'd missed when he said that he initially thought it was maybe an updated version of The Twilight Zone. Oh, he could not have been more wrong.
I mentioned the FIDM motion picture costume design exhibit awhile back, and today I found this wonderful post that discusses The Dark Knight costumes in great detail. I highly recommend checking it out, as it's well worth the read.