*The Hands of Time*
I have realized, that I am not pretty enough to be as crazy as I am.
Now, I'm not trying to be down on myself, but there is only a certain level of gorgeousness which can allow for a certain level of crazy in a relationship, and I have overshot my quota of crazy for.hmm, at least the next six months.
James is great, awesome, and I am pretty pleased. The only thing is that he has only once verbalized any sort of feelings for me, and he told me he thinks he's falling in love with me. Since then, nada, and this is a few months ago.
I do think he cares, but I am a verbal person, and I need to hear how someone feels, or I tend to develope insecurities, I am nuerotic by nature. In place of him telling me how he feels, I have begun using sex as a compass, if he wants sex, he wants me, if he doesn't want sex, I must not be pretty, or he must be dissinterested.
A great way to navigate my relationship, I know.
So now hes tired, and I'm nuerotic, and we seem to be having a problem with miscommunication, and its all driving me more nuts.
I just really hope I don't drive him away. I really care about him.
If I were Eva Mendes, this wouldn't be an issue. Lol
Things I say never come out the way I intend. I hate it. In my head things will sound lighthearted and joking, then once they leave my mouth they begin to sound negative, aggressive of obnoxious. I wish I could make things sound the way I do in my head. I must come across so completely differently than I am.
A negative and overly aggressive/zealous person.
Great.
Now, I'm not trying to be down on myself, but there is only a certain level of gorgeousness which can allow for a certain level of crazy in a relationship, and I have overshot my quota of crazy for.hmm, at least the next six months.
James is great, awesome, and I am pretty pleased. The only thing is that he has only once verbalized any sort of feelings for me, and he told me he thinks he's falling in love with me. Since then, nada, and this is a few months ago.
I do think he cares, but I am a verbal person, and I need to hear how someone feels, or I tend to develope insecurities, I am nuerotic by nature. In place of him telling me how he feels, I have begun using sex as a compass, if he wants sex, he wants me, if he doesn't want sex, I must not be pretty, or he must be dissinterested.
A great way to navigate my relationship, I know.
So now hes tired, and I'm nuerotic, and we seem to be having a problem with miscommunication, and its all driving me more nuts.
I just really hope I don't drive him away. I really care about him.
If I were Eva Mendes, this wouldn't be an issue. Lol
Things I say never come out the way I intend. I hate it. In my head things will sound lighthearted and joking, then once they leave my mouth they begin to sound negative, aggressive of obnoxious. I wish I could make things sound the way I do in my head. I must come across so completely differently than I am.
A negative and overly aggressive/zealous person.
Great.