(no subject)
Last night was the last party I will ever host in the Grad.
The reign of 319 is over. I would like to say that the night went perfectly, but that would be a stretch. Not everybody showed up that said they were coming, although all of the important people, with the exception of A Ro, were there: Broda, Gretchen, Katie McD, Becky, Clare, Tom, his friend Nick, Aututmn, Nelsa (finally got to know her a little), and Liz Thompson. Resham rolled in and out really quickly. She was on duty up at East with the high school athletes. Things would have gone better if my heart hadn't started beating out of my chest about an hour and a half into the party. I don't know what set it off. I retreated to my bedroom to try and calm myself. My face was BRIGHT red which never really happens when I drink. I hadn't drank much either. I guess it was a panic attack. It really threw me through a loop because it's been so long since I've had one that's caused me to lose control like that. It frustrates me so damn much that my mind can seem fine and I just cannot keep my body on the same page. It took about 30-45 minutes back there with Lizz trying to talk me down before I could go back out again. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, a lot of people had left while I was in my room. The rest of the night was pretty pleasant between joking with Autumn and Nelsa, and making plans to start a band with Liz Thompson.
Overall, I have to say that I've had a pretty good last week. I am definitely going to miss people, but I am exciting about my upcoming trip, as well as hanging out with Dave before I leave. I think that concert in Central Park is going to rock. I just wish I could stop feeling so on edge. Gah*
The reign of 319 is over. I would like to say that the night went perfectly, but that would be a stretch. Not everybody showed up that said they were coming, although all of the important people, with the exception of A Ro, were there: Broda, Gretchen, Katie McD, Becky, Clare, Tom, his friend Nick, Aututmn, Nelsa (finally got to know her a little), and Liz Thompson. Resham rolled in and out really quickly. She was on duty up at East with the high school athletes. Things would have gone better if my heart hadn't started beating out of my chest about an hour and a half into the party. I don't know what set it off. I retreated to my bedroom to try and calm myself. My face was BRIGHT red which never really happens when I drink. I hadn't drank much either. I guess it was a panic attack. It really threw me through a loop because it's been so long since I've had one that's caused me to lose control like that. It frustrates me so damn much that my mind can seem fine and I just cannot keep my body on the same page. It took about 30-45 minutes back there with Lizz trying to talk me down before I could go back out again. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, a lot of people had left while I was in my room. The rest of the night was pretty pleasant between joking with Autumn and Nelsa, and making plans to start a band with Liz Thompson.
Overall, I have to say that I've had a pretty good last week. I am definitely going to miss people, but I am exciting about my upcoming trip, as well as hanging out with Dave before I leave. I think that concert in Central Park is going to rock. I just wish I could stop feeling so on edge. Gah*