(no subject)
tonight i looked at my friends and thought about what they are, like some things hurt and some things piss me off and some of them i used to hate. i have been lost the past few days and i need some guidence something solid but i know it wont come i have been eating shrooms that turned out to be not shrooms and could be a deadly lookalike and for some reason i dont give a fuck if i die or not. i feel i have been lied to and mislead for so long there are only and few kids i love anymore and kevin easthope is like #2 on the list only true kid out there and the only reason i think he loves is cuz im a 100% irish. there is some shit i still dont have the balls to say even tho i have had wayy to much captain and coke. but someday it will come out. so here i am drunk as hell and my head hurts ever since i ate those fake ass shrooms and some take 8 days to kill you or put you in a coma but i dont care cuz no one actually cares about me. the only reason i have any "friends" is cuz i have parties and let everyone get drunk at my house. i have very few actual friends and i dont know what it is about me and i just dont care. i hate rejection and its prolly why i havent had a gf in about 3 years. ive just realized how lost i am in life all these missed opportunities have added up to this moment of carelessness with my own life. fuck this is to long and im gonna go stand in the street and hope for a actual friend to come. i love rolby perez.