TEETH TEETH TEETH TEETH.
I saw in the new year in Devon, with friends, which was a lot of fun! We walked through mud and admired sheep and played games. At one point we met some perfect little goats. One of them tried to eat my sleeve and it was a privilege.
Just after arriving at the place we were staying, we checked the guestbook. The most recent page said, The ambience left a bitter taste in my mouth. To express my disgust I have done a secret poo somewhere in the house.
We were unable to find the secret poo.
One of my friends had brought Outer Wilds (not to be confused with The Outer Worlds, a completely different space-based game that came out ten days after the PS4 release of Outer Wilds; it took me a very long time to realise they were two different games). He insisted that I play it.
Outer Wilds is an interesting little first-person space exploration game. Unfortunately, I am both terrified of space and very bad at first-person games. I was incapable of landing without wrecking everything on the ship.
Some of my space adventures:
- Ten minutes into the game, I drowned in a waterfall. I hadn't even made it to space yet. I got a 'YOU ARE DEAD' screen and a full credits roll. On my second attempt, I drowned again in exactly the same place.
- 'Am I about to fall into the fucking sun?'
- I got crushed in a tunnel by rising sand and it was extremely bad.
- I went to a planet that became zero gravity, and I floated up into the air, and then it abruptly became very gravity and killed me.
- At one point I fell into a black hole and got teleported across the solar system and went to great trouble to get back to the planet my ship was on, only to discover, with fuel and oxygen running low, that my ship had fallen into the same black hole and had also been teleported miles away.
- On the plus side, I toasted a marshmallow to perfection, thus winning the game.
(I have not actually completed the game and I'm not sure I'll ever manage it.)
Worst exchange around the dinner table on this holiday:
'Rei's wondering whether it would be appropriate to tell you that I once came while thinking of Bowser.'
'Rei's reticence on this was the correct decision.'
'I couldn't take it just hanging unsaid in the air.'
Just after arriving at the place we were staying, we checked the guestbook. The most recent page said, The ambience left a bitter taste in my mouth. To express my disgust I have done a secret poo somewhere in the house.
We were unable to find the secret poo.
One of my friends had brought Outer Wilds (not to be confused with The Outer Worlds, a completely different space-based game that came out ten days after the PS4 release of Outer Wilds; it took me a very long time to realise they were two different games). He insisted that I play it.
Outer Wilds is an interesting little first-person space exploration game. Unfortunately, I am both terrified of space and very bad at first-person games. I was incapable of landing without wrecking everything on the ship.
Some of my space adventures:
- Ten minutes into the game, I drowned in a waterfall. I hadn't even made it to space yet. I got a 'YOU ARE DEAD' screen and a full credits roll. On my second attempt, I drowned again in exactly the same place.
- 'Am I about to fall into the fucking sun?'
- I got crushed in a tunnel by rising sand and it was extremely bad.
- I went to a planet that became zero gravity, and I floated up into the air, and then it abruptly became very gravity and killed me.
- At one point I fell into a black hole and got teleported across the solar system and went to great trouble to get back to the planet my ship was on, only to discover, with fuel and oxygen running low, that my ship had fallen into the same black hole and had also been teleported miles away.
- On the plus side, I toasted a marshmallow to perfection, thus winning the game.
(I have not actually completed the game and I'm not sure I'll ever manage it.)
Worst exchange around the dinner table on this holiday:
'Rei's wondering whether it would be appropriate to tell you that I once came while thinking of Bowser.'
'Rei's reticence on this was the correct decision.'
'I couldn't take it just hanging unsaid in the air.'