he admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid
I have no idea what to do with my life.
That scares me.
Before, it didn't bother me. But now, I'm beginning to see a problem. I want to have a purpose. A goal. Something to work towards. I think that part of my issue with picking a future is that I'm worried that I'll be wrong. I am so afraid of being wrong that I won't make a choice at all. I am at a standstill.
So I sit back and think and think some more and then come to the conclusion that I don't have to pick just one thing. I can do it all. For real.
The Plan:
+ Get my broker's license. This way I can easier access to houses that I want to buy.
+ Buy, fix, and resell houses. Property is usually a safe investment.
+ Go back to college and get a degree in Studio Art. I like art. I'll find something to do with it in the long run.
And that's as far as the plan goes right now. I mean, there are other things I want to do but they aren't "major". I want to paint and design clothes and take photographs. But I can do that working at my dead-end job right now. I want to make something of myself. Even if I'm the only one who can see what I've made of myself.
~~~~~
On to everyone's favorite subject, boys. Well, 54% of the populations favorite subject.
I know what I want. But I don't know if I'm being realistic. I'm worried that if I keep such a rigid standard that I'll miss out on someone who would be right for me. But I also don't want to settle. I guess I have to decide what is vital and what I can live without. I mean, it would be nice if he played guitar but I can't let that be a deal-breaker. I have to worry more about personality and looks. With those, what you see is usually what you get. Right?
And I'm not going to rush into anything. No grand fantasies of marriage or babies or five car garages. As much as I hate it, I know that being alone is what I need. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. I haven't done that for, well, a long time. I think it must be about six or seven years. Sure, I've been single but not like this. I'm calling off the search. I want to be able to want to be by myself.
Wow, I guess I have a lot on my plate. Guess I have to get started, eh?
That scares me.
Before, it didn't bother me. But now, I'm beginning to see a problem. I want to have a purpose. A goal. Something to work towards. I think that part of my issue with picking a future is that I'm worried that I'll be wrong. I am so afraid of being wrong that I won't make a choice at all. I am at a standstill.
So I sit back and think and think some more and then come to the conclusion that I don't have to pick just one thing. I can do it all. For real.
The Plan:
+ Get my broker's license. This way I can easier access to houses that I want to buy.
+ Buy, fix, and resell houses. Property is usually a safe investment.
+ Go back to college and get a degree in Studio Art. I like art. I'll find something to do with it in the long run.
And that's as far as the plan goes right now. I mean, there are other things I want to do but they aren't "major". I want to paint and design clothes and take photographs. But I can do that working at my dead-end job right now. I want to make something of myself. Even if I'm the only one who can see what I've made of myself.
~~~~~
On to everyone's favorite subject, boys. Well, 54% of the populations favorite subject.
I know what I want. But I don't know if I'm being realistic. I'm worried that if I keep such a rigid standard that I'll miss out on someone who would be right for me. But I also don't want to settle. I guess I have to decide what is vital and what I can live without. I mean, it would be nice if he played guitar but I can't let that be a deal-breaker. I have to worry more about personality and looks. With those, what you see is usually what you get. Right?
And I'm not going to rush into anything. No grand fantasies of marriage or babies or five car garages. As much as I hate it, I know that being alone is what I need. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. I haven't done that for, well, a long time. I think it must be about six or seven years. Sure, I've been single but not like this. I'm calling off the search. I want to be able to want to be by myself.
Wow, I guess I have a lot on my plate. Guess I have to get started, eh?