'M' stands for 'mediocre'
a.k.a. 'Given I'm chronically late to everything, probably including my own funeral, this is the ideal time to review James Bond: Spectre now that everyone and their aunt has already seen it'
For some reason, the Shoujo Gang has decided I am a huge James Bond fan, which is vastly inaccurate given that I've maybe seen 2 1/2 movies of the franchise total to this date. In fact, it is my esteemed older brother who's the expert, even having written his final graduation paper in school on the subject, and my mother is a casual fan since the early days. Anyhow, since I got a 007-themed birthday present from them, I asked if they wanted to go see the newest installment.
Now, I've complained about the franchise cinema in this town before, but this time, it was even worse: In the week of the official release, I wanted to make a reservation for seats. Turns out that given 007 is a cashcow, only ~gold card~ holders were able to make reservations, so the only option would have been buying the tickets (which in turn would have meant having to pay full price and losing the student discount which is not an option online). So, I said "screw this, let's go some other time". We settled on yesterday, the 9 p.m. showing, and did make reservations for the tickets. But with this damned cinema, you can't choose the seats unless, again, you already buy them. So where did we end up sitting? Yes, that would be the second row in front of the screen. Ironically enough, they handed out Thermacare medecinic hot patches at the cinema as some sort of advertisment campaign, and boy do I need that after two hours of staring at an uncomfortable angle at... well, what, exactly?
Well, technically we first stared at a baffling 38 minutes of trailers and advertisments, but eeeh technicalities amirite? So, with all the whining out of the way:
James Bond - Spectre
The leak of top secret information, the attack on the MI6 headquarters and the previous M's death have once again caused a discussion about whether or not the 00-programme still holds up. While the new M (Ralph Fiennes) eyes the planned co-operation with a global information network lead by C (Andrew Scott) with suspicion, he suddenly has to explain a new fiasco to his superiors when James Bond (Daniel Craig) hunts down a terrorist in Mexico City without permission. Hiding the true reasons for his investigation, Bond continues even as he is suspended from duty, following the only lead he has - a ring engraved with a black octopus, a symbol tied to a rumoured villain syndicate. But when he manages to attend a meeting of the heads of the organisation, he is already expected...
By the time I got to watch this movie, I had been spoiled about pretty much everything, even though the second global trailer had already done a good job at that, as well. Given the script had been leaked online before and pretty much everyone had guessed Christoph Waltz would be Blofeld, I think they decided to just go all out and rely on the movie to succeed by mere merit of being the universally loved Skyfall's successor rather than invest much in marketing. But as we know, the universally loved Casino Royal was followed by the universally hated Quantum of Solace, so what does that mean for Spectre?
It means that the movie ignores Quantum so hard it is acutally quite hilarious. Spectre tells us that all the villains the Craig-Bond has encountered so far have been part of or at least sent by Spectre (the syndicate, not the movie), and you get a lot of photos and name-drops. Except for those of Quantum (the syndicate, not the movie). (Quantum was only used because the studio back then did not have the rights back to Spectre yet, so that is another reason.) In a way, this movie really feels like the end to a trilogy rather than the alleged fourth part in a five part series (that is, unless Craig quits prematurely).
The opening scene had me quite hopeful - I loved the long trailing shot and the vibrant atmosphere of the Dia de los Muertos festival (even present in the music), and it was stylish and calm despite being tense. And then the first action stunt happened and it was all shaky cam and weird cuts and angles and I was already really cursing my fate of sitting in the second row because boy howdy did my head hurt by the time we reached the opening credits. This, weirdly, continues - the movie goes back and forth from well-shot scenes to the most baffling nonsense where you cannot for the love of anything make out who is punching whom (not that the action scenes make that much sense to begin with - the entire plane sequence I wondered how this qualified as a rescue mission, since it was almost a miracle the chick survived the crash). This especailly was annoying to me as I have recently rewatched Winter Soldier with Kay (the plot similarities are making it easy to compare to) which as really well done fight scenes which - for the most part - work without WILD SHAKY MOVEMENTS INDICATE ACTION!!
[[pained Ayato screeches in the distance]]
The opening credits, then, were... something. A lot of octopus symbolism which sadly also affected the obligatory naked chicks which lead to what I only could, quite horrified, put into words as "Is this tentacle hentai", almost making my seat neighbour die from inhaling popcorn. Also, highlighting Daniel's nipples was, uh, an interesting artistic choice.
More so than Skyfall (the film, not the Scottish manor), this movie first felt like a personal revenge trip rather than a mission, but due to the fact that we neither get flashbacks nor any sort of insight of how the past looked for the unlucky step-brothers apart from Blofeld's chipper mid-torture recollections, I personally really did not buy that this, of all things, was the reason for all this bloodshed. I get that basically, their interpretation of Blofeld is "hit every yandere branch when falling down the crazy tree", which is fine, by all means, but apart from an old photo and a "Dad liked you more than me, so everyone you've ever met shall suffer and then die" is a bit... out of proportion... In a way, it really feels as if this movie is a failsafe - meant to wrap up everything in case there won't be a fifth in the series, but also leave enough room for a sequel (i.g. what happened to née Blofeld and her family? Given he picked that name, it sounded almost as if they were involved in criminal shenanigans from the get-go.). I would not at all be opposed to that, given how this movie ended, and the prospect of Bond casually keeping on calling Blofeld his birthname just to annoy him would be hilarious.
All that said, the villain's plot does not make a lot of sense and mainly serves to give us pretty set pieces which is all fine and good. What I liked a lot, also, where the switches in narrative over to M and his whacky crew. The gang and I rewatched Skyfall (the motion picture, not the house in the moors), and I remembered female!M's adorable assistant existed. He still does in Spectre (the flick, not the syndicate), and him and male!M passive-aggressively sending mails during meetings or trashtalking C was quite fun. Q (Ben Wishaw) was beautiful and did not deserve this, and if anything, I was sad that Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) did not get a bigger role in all these MI6 shenanigans.
Bond girls are Bond girls, but Madeleine Swan (unfortunate name, especially in combination with her dad's name "White") had spunk and I guess it was believable enough he would fall for her. I had decided I liked her, especially as her clearly faked "I can't do this xoxo bye" at the end seemed as if she would show up ex machina to shoot the yandere cat owner in the foot or something (especially as I was also somewhat confused at him saying he was at their house - is that tied to her Beretta story, and if so, why did he not kill them then?). But no, she ends up being a damsel in distress which is not explained whatsoever. Booh, Spectre (both the motion picture and the syndicate in this case).
So with all of this, is this fourth movie in the Craig-Bond series as good as many hoped it would be? No. Is it as bad as many say? No. It is still fun as an action flick as long as you can take the occasional shaky cam, and it has a fair amount of dry humour in it which usually works. Christoph Waltz does his thing as a villain which seems cut short by the movie, and I would really like to see a sequel at some point. It is neither the best nor the worst of the series, and if you go in with this as your expectation, you are best advised.
★★★☆☆
On a linguistic sidenote, I was very happy to see they fixed their less than sub-par translation in the trailer of "You're a kite, dancing in a hurricane" from "toy/Spielzeug" to "kite/Flugdrachen". Good on you, guys. And while the joke between M and C works with "mediocre/mittelmäßig", "careless/chancenlos" is not quite the same but a smooth enough save.
For some reason, the Shoujo Gang has decided I am a huge James Bond fan, which is vastly inaccurate given that I've maybe seen 2 1/2 movies of the franchise total to this date. In fact, it is my esteemed older brother who's the expert, even having written his final graduation paper in school on the subject, and my mother is a casual fan since the early days. Anyhow, since I got a 007-themed birthday present from them, I asked if they wanted to go see the newest installment.
Now, I've complained about the franchise cinema in this town before, but this time, it was even worse: In the week of the official release, I wanted to make a reservation for seats. Turns out that given 007 is a cashcow, only ~gold card~ holders were able to make reservations, so the only option would have been buying the tickets (which in turn would have meant having to pay full price and losing the student discount which is not an option online). So, I said "screw this, let's go some other time". We settled on yesterday, the 9 p.m. showing, and did make reservations for the tickets. But with this damned cinema, you can't choose the seats unless, again, you already buy them. So where did we end up sitting? Yes, that would be the second row in front of the screen. Ironically enough, they handed out Thermacare medecinic hot patches at the cinema as some sort of advertisment campaign, and boy do I need that after two hours of staring at an uncomfortable angle at... well, what, exactly?
Well, technically we first stared at a baffling 38 minutes of trailers and advertisments, but eeeh technicalities amirite? So, with all the whining out of the way:
James Bond - Spectre
The leak of top secret information, the attack on the MI6 headquarters and the previous M's death have once again caused a discussion about whether or not the 00-programme still holds up. While the new M (Ralph Fiennes) eyes the planned co-operation with a global information network lead by C (Andrew Scott) with suspicion, he suddenly has to explain a new fiasco to his superiors when James Bond (Daniel Craig) hunts down a terrorist in Mexico City without permission. Hiding the true reasons for his investigation, Bond continues even as he is suspended from duty, following the only lead he has - a ring engraved with a black octopus, a symbol tied to a rumoured villain syndicate. But when he manages to attend a meeting of the heads of the organisation, he is already expected...
By the time I got to watch this movie, I had been spoiled about pretty much everything, even though the second global trailer had already done a good job at that, as well. Given the script had been leaked online before and pretty much everyone had guessed Christoph Waltz would be Blofeld, I think they decided to just go all out and rely on the movie to succeed by mere merit of being the universally loved Skyfall's successor rather than invest much in marketing. But as we know, the universally loved Casino Royal was followed by the universally hated Quantum of Solace, so what does that mean for Spectre?
It means that the movie ignores Quantum so hard it is acutally quite hilarious. Spectre tells us that all the villains the Craig-Bond has encountered so far have been part of or at least sent by Spectre (the syndicate, not the movie), and you get a lot of photos and name-drops. Except for those of Quantum (the syndicate, not the movie). (Quantum was only used because the studio back then did not have the rights back to Spectre yet, so that is another reason.) In a way, this movie really feels like the end to a trilogy rather than the alleged fourth part in a five part series (that is, unless Craig quits prematurely).
The opening scene had me quite hopeful - I loved the long trailing shot and the vibrant atmosphere of the Dia de los Muertos festival (even present in the music), and it was stylish and calm despite being tense. And then the first action stunt happened and it was all shaky cam and weird cuts and angles and I was already really cursing my fate of sitting in the second row because boy howdy did my head hurt by the time we reached the opening credits. This, weirdly, continues - the movie goes back and forth from well-shot scenes to the most baffling nonsense where you cannot for the love of anything make out who is punching whom (not that the action scenes make that much sense to begin with - the entire plane sequence I wondered how this qualified as a rescue mission, since it was almost a miracle the chick survived the crash). This especailly was annoying to me as I have recently rewatched Winter Soldier with Kay (the plot similarities are making it easy to compare to) which as really well done fight scenes which - for the most part - work without WILD SHAKY MOVEMENTS INDICATE ACTION!!
[[pained Ayato screeches in the distance]]
The opening credits, then, were... something. A lot of octopus symbolism which sadly also affected the obligatory naked chicks which lead to what I only could, quite horrified, put into words as "Is this tentacle hentai", almost making my seat neighbour die from inhaling popcorn. Also, highlighting Daniel's nipples was, uh, an interesting artistic choice.
More so than Skyfall (the film, not the Scottish manor), this movie first felt like a personal revenge trip rather than a mission, but due to the fact that we neither get flashbacks nor any sort of insight of how the past looked for the unlucky step-brothers apart from Blofeld's chipper mid-torture recollections, I personally really did not buy that this, of all things, was the reason for all this bloodshed. I get that basically, their interpretation of Blofeld is "hit every yandere branch when falling down the crazy tree", which is fine, by all means, but apart from an old photo and a "Dad liked you more than me, so everyone you've ever met shall suffer and then die" is a bit... out of proportion... In a way, it really feels as if this movie is a failsafe - meant to wrap up everything in case there won't be a fifth in the series, but also leave enough room for a sequel (i.g. what happened to née Blofeld and her family? Given he picked that name, it sounded almost as if they were involved in criminal shenanigans from the get-go.). I would not at all be opposed to that, given how this movie ended, and the prospect of Bond casually keeping on calling Blofeld his birthname just to annoy him would be hilarious.
All that said, the villain's plot does not make a lot of sense and mainly serves to give us pretty set pieces which is all fine and good. What I liked a lot, also, where the switches in narrative over to M and his whacky crew. The gang and I rewatched Skyfall (the motion picture, not the house in the moors), and I remembered female!M's adorable assistant existed. He still does in Spectre (the flick, not the syndicate), and him and male!M passive-aggressively sending mails during meetings or trashtalking C was quite fun. Q (Ben Wishaw) was beautiful and did not deserve this, and if anything, I was sad that Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) did not get a bigger role in all these MI6 shenanigans.
Bond girls are Bond girls, but Madeleine Swan (unfortunate name, especially in combination with her dad's name "White") had spunk and I guess it was believable enough he would fall for her. I had decided I liked her, especially as her clearly faked "I can't do this xoxo bye" at the end seemed as if she would show up ex machina to shoot the yandere cat owner in the foot or something (especially as I was also somewhat confused at him saying he was at their house - is that tied to her Beretta story, and if so, why did he not kill them then?). But no, she ends up being a damsel in distress which is not explained whatsoever. Booh, Spectre (both the motion picture and the syndicate in this case).
So with all of this, is this fourth movie in the Craig-Bond series as good as many hoped it would be? No. Is it as bad as many say? No. It is still fun as an action flick as long as you can take the occasional shaky cam, and it has a fair amount of dry humour in it which usually works. Christoph Waltz does his thing as a villain which seems cut short by the movie, and I would really like to see a sequel at some point. It is neither the best nor the worst of the series, and if you go in with this as your expectation, you are best advised.
★★★☆☆
On a linguistic sidenote, I was very happy to see they fixed their less than sub-par translation in the trailer of "You're a kite, dancing in a hurricane" from "toy/Spielzeug" to "kite/Flugdrachen". Good on you, guys. And while the joke between M and C works with "mediocre/mittelmäßig", "careless/chancenlos" is not quite the same but a smooth enough save.