Cheap and Transparent
I'm kind of drained from too much socializing.
Today, it took me no less than fourteen hours to stop freaking out because i got myself in waaaay over my head with a couple of NewBoy's friends. There was a lot of yelling and them talking to me and me not being able to /get out/ of the situation. I wanted to just stamp my feet and call them all mean. Even the girl who came to my rescue made me more and more confused.
Sometimes i feel like i only get so many hours of being able to do things. As if there is some huge alarm clock set on my time outside my self... Fuck. I just kept hitting the snooze button yesterday, and it left me all high-pitched and whimpery and made it hard to enjoy NewBoy's attention when we woke up in the morning.
But he gets it, oddly enough. He claims to be an emotionless prick, and i buy that. Still, he manages to accept certain things about me that usually make people twinge. And attention, oh god, the attention.
I do, on occasion, wish that i had more words to describe how it is i work. Like how having all of these emotions that aren't tacked on to any one event makes me realize the fickle, unpredictable and generally unreliable nature of emotion itself.
I'm yammering.
Today, it took me no less than fourteen hours to stop freaking out because i got myself in waaaay over my head with a couple of NewBoy's friends. There was a lot of yelling and them talking to me and me not being able to /get out/ of the situation. I wanted to just stamp my feet and call them all mean. Even the girl who came to my rescue made me more and more confused.
Sometimes i feel like i only get so many hours of being able to do things. As if there is some huge alarm clock set on my time outside my self... Fuck. I just kept hitting the snooze button yesterday, and it left me all high-pitched and whimpery and made it hard to enjoy NewBoy's attention when we woke up in the morning.
But he gets it, oddly enough. He claims to be an emotionless prick, and i buy that. Still, he manages to accept certain things about me that usually make people twinge. And attention, oh god, the attention.
I do, on occasion, wish that i had more words to describe how it is i work. Like how having all of these emotions that aren't tacked on to any one event makes me realize the fickle, unpredictable and generally unreliable nature of emotion itself.
I'm yammering.