Here We Go
Well, it would appear i've been neglecting my livejournal veryvery much over the past while.
In new-er news: I got a promotion at Esso. My new boss has a terrifying, though nicely suprising amount of confidence in my abilities. This has led me to the conclusion that common sense is now an assest, rather than, well, /common/. This depresses me in that sort of humatity-bites kind of way.
Possibly going to Calgary with Sabine next weekend. It's tentetive, as things with sabine usually are, but it'd be a fun little get-away. Though, i'm thinking of trying my best to get sonic session matt good tickets, because i love him and he's an asshole, so we'll see how things go.
I now officially am above the poverty line! I make ten bucks an hour, forty hours a week, which squeaks me juuuuust over 20 000$ gross. I'm a real person now!!!
I need a new tire.
I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to have OCD and /not/ be a tidy person. I think i used to take for granted that people with OCD are generally organized humans, and i sure as fuck am not. But i wonder.
I've been grinding my teeth.
I've met a boy on the internet. Actually, i've met a couple of boys on the internet. J and Joe. Joe is tall and lanky and works at value village. We talk about nothing serious at all and he's fun, and hillarious, and i like him. J is from calgary, we have alot in common and talk about all manner of serious things. He's sweet, and optomistic, and the complete oposite of most guys i go for.
Which leaves me a little torn, but still cautiously optimistic.
I keep trying to make an appointment with my social worker, but she seems completely disinterested in returning my phone calls. This is worriesome in many different ways, mainly in that i'm taking a pill that really isn't HELPING. I'm still overly concerned with minute details. I still worry about other people's perceptions. I'm still preoccupied with structure and still /hate/ the unexpected. I live in complete fear that someone will be angry with/dissapointed in me as a person. Conflict and the fear of conflict makes living rather difficult. There will always be conflict. I can't hide from it, especially if i want to be Social Worker. But i can't cope with it. As soon as feathers are ruffled i find the easiest out i possibly can.
I'm stupid and incapable.
I really need to re-dye my hair. It's looking very shabby. I'm doing a touch-up at the moment, but it needs a serious re-vamp so it looks not-bad anymore. Plus it's getting too long to be short and too short to be long. I anticipated this, but it's quite annoying.
I'm going to attempt that sleep thing now, if I can calm myself enough to do so.
YAY SLEEPS!!!
In new-er news: I got a promotion at Esso. My new boss has a terrifying, though nicely suprising amount of confidence in my abilities. This has led me to the conclusion that common sense is now an assest, rather than, well, /common/. This depresses me in that sort of humatity-bites kind of way.
Possibly going to Calgary with Sabine next weekend. It's tentetive, as things with sabine usually are, but it'd be a fun little get-away. Though, i'm thinking of trying my best to get sonic session matt good tickets, because i love him and he's an asshole, so we'll see how things go.
I now officially am above the poverty line! I make ten bucks an hour, forty hours a week, which squeaks me juuuuust over 20 000$ gross. I'm a real person now!!!
I need a new tire.
I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to have OCD and /not/ be a tidy person. I think i used to take for granted that people with OCD are generally organized humans, and i sure as fuck am not. But i wonder.
I've been grinding my teeth.
I've met a boy on the internet. Actually, i've met a couple of boys on the internet. J and Joe. Joe is tall and lanky and works at value village. We talk about nothing serious at all and he's fun, and hillarious, and i like him. J is from calgary, we have alot in common and talk about all manner of serious things. He's sweet, and optomistic, and the complete oposite of most guys i go for.
Which leaves me a little torn, but still cautiously optimistic.
I keep trying to make an appointment with my social worker, but she seems completely disinterested in returning my phone calls. This is worriesome in many different ways, mainly in that i'm taking a pill that really isn't HELPING. I'm still overly concerned with minute details. I still worry about other people's perceptions. I'm still preoccupied with structure and still /hate/ the unexpected. I live in complete fear that someone will be angry with/dissapointed in me as a person. Conflict and the fear of conflict makes living rather difficult. There will always be conflict. I can't hide from it, especially if i want to be Social Worker. But i can't cope with it. As soon as feathers are ruffled i find the easiest out i possibly can.
I'm stupid and incapable.
I really need to re-dye my hair. It's looking very shabby. I'm doing a touch-up at the moment, but it needs a serious re-vamp so it looks not-bad anymore. Plus it's getting too long to be short and too short to be long. I anticipated this, but it's quite annoying.
I'm going to attempt that sleep thing now, if I can calm myself enough to do so.
YAY SLEEPS!!!