Uncle Tom
A few weeks ago, I visited my parent's to celebrate my mother's birthday that had taken place the previous Tuesday. As soon as I got through the door my neice and nephew pearl harbored me and were jumping up and down in uncontrolled excitement. They rushed to the dining room table where they began instantly fighting and yelling over who got to give me something. I stood a few feet away with my coat still on amused and waited as they finally decided to rip whatever they wanted to give me in half and that way they could both give me it, and that is how it came to pass that I recieved the first two valentine's day cards since grade school.
My nephew and neice are as much the perfect pair as they are cute. Joe is now in kindergarten and at the age of five has adopted the stoichism of a meditating buddhist on horse tranquilizers. He is never upset, rarely throws tantrums or breaks the rules. And all because as he put it while looking down while rubbing his toe in the ground, "Momma told me I had to set an example for Claire."
And Claire needs a role model, and if not a role model then at least an accomplice. At age three she is a master in manipulation; it is impossible to say no to her. For over a year she refused to wear anything that was not pink or had Dora the Explorer on it. After great efforts my sister has convinced her to at least add purple and red to her assemblage of clothes, and deserves a standing ovation for the feat. Claire has shoulder length blonde straight blonde hair that never is out of place no matter what she's been up to, and is as guiltless as she is materialistic.
Once she proudly told us all that when she reached the impossibly old age of 'teenager' she would have a baby in her belly and become a mommy too. We corrected her and told she might want to wait till she had a husband, to which she considered a minute then said, "No, I don't need one." in a way that clearly showed us, yes, she had considered all the responsibilities, and really, while our feedback is always welcome, it is clearly unneeded. We then mentioned what a wedding ring was, and after looking closely at my mother's, then her mother's, she looked up and loudly proclaimed, "When I'm a teenager I'm going to have baby in my belly and a big gold diamond ring." and made an enormous fist over her ring finger to show us her preferred size. Joe, carefully observing all this, leaned towards her and questioned, "When you have kids can I come over and play with them?" Claire answered affirmatively as long as they weren't taking their nap. Jone nodded wisely; yes, the naps, they are important.
They really are complete polar opposites. After being caught trying to convince Joe to let her cut his hair with plastic scissors my sister severely scolded Claire and told her how unhappy she was with her. Joe cried just out of pity for his sibling, but Claire bright eyed and smiling sang out, "OK MOMMY! SO SORRY! LOVE YOU!" and then skipped off into the other room while we gathered towels to mop up our melting hearts.
Once Claire AND Joe got caught trying to sneak a snack and as my sister scolded them Joe sat crying horribly from the terrible shame of letting down his mother, his life giver, the woman who comforted him when he felt bad and cooked his food and protected him from his uncle's noogies, and how could he ever do this? How could he ever betray his mother?! What a cold, cruel world that would turn him to conspire against her! Sitting next to him, Claire looked over, stroked his arm and said, "IT OK JOE! Mommy's not really mad! Just bite your lip and look down!"
I kid you not , she said exactly that. As the room broke out in an uncontrolled fit of laughter, she looked around at all the faces smiling smugly as if saying, "Oh? Did I do that? Did I make you all just break with a case of the giggles? I just dropped some softening cuteness on all of your hard heads." The little girl is such a master.
Needless to say, what time was not spent that night drinking with my brothers and brother in law was passed playing with those two. And when it got late and they had to get ready to go home, Joe came up to me pouting and asked when we could play again. I told him very soon and he hugged me then went to the car in such a way that I am positive leaving my parent's little happy home was indeed the most melancholy event that has ever taken place in the history of they world; out of no where a crying violinist played his saddest tune. Next Claire came dancing, hugged me, kissed me sweetly on the cheek, and sang loudly to some unknown tune, "I GOT GO HOME NOW! LOVE YOU UNCKY NATE! BYE BYE!" then danced her way out of the house towards Joe who she bear hugged.
If you ever get to have relatives that are younger than 12, see them sometime. When you do, pick them up off the ground, spin them a few times in a circle, then toss them onto a couch, and run out of the room. They'll follow, I promise.
My nephew and neice are as much the perfect pair as they are cute. Joe is now in kindergarten and at the age of five has adopted the stoichism of a meditating buddhist on horse tranquilizers. He is never upset, rarely throws tantrums or breaks the rules. And all because as he put it while looking down while rubbing his toe in the ground, "Momma told me I had to set an example for Claire."
And Claire needs a role model, and if not a role model then at least an accomplice. At age three she is a master in manipulation; it is impossible to say no to her. For over a year she refused to wear anything that was not pink or had Dora the Explorer on it. After great efforts my sister has convinced her to at least add purple and red to her assemblage of clothes, and deserves a standing ovation for the feat. Claire has shoulder length blonde straight blonde hair that never is out of place no matter what she's been up to, and is as guiltless as she is materialistic.
Once she proudly told us all that when she reached the impossibly old age of 'teenager' she would have a baby in her belly and become a mommy too. We corrected her and told she might want to wait till she had a husband, to which she considered a minute then said, "No, I don't need one." in a way that clearly showed us, yes, she had considered all the responsibilities, and really, while our feedback is always welcome, it is clearly unneeded. We then mentioned what a wedding ring was, and after looking closely at my mother's, then her mother's, she looked up and loudly proclaimed, "When I'm a teenager I'm going to have baby in my belly and a big gold diamond ring." and made an enormous fist over her ring finger to show us her preferred size. Joe, carefully observing all this, leaned towards her and questioned, "When you have kids can I come over and play with them?" Claire answered affirmatively as long as they weren't taking their nap. Jone nodded wisely; yes, the naps, they are important.
They really are complete polar opposites. After being caught trying to convince Joe to let her cut his hair with plastic scissors my sister severely scolded Claire and told her how unhappy she was with her. Joe cried just out of pity for his sibling, but Claire bright eyed and smiling sang out, "OK MOMMY! SO SORRY! LOVE YOU!" and then skipped off into the other room while we gathered towels to mop up our melting hearts.
Once Claire AND Joe got caught trying to sneak a snack and as my sister scolded them Joe sat crying horribly from the terrible shame of letting down his mother, his life giver, the woman who comforted him when he felt bad and cooked his food and protected him from his uncle's noogies, and how could he ever do this? How could he ever betray his mother?! What a cold, cruel world that would turn him to conspire against her! Sitting next to him, Claire looked over, stroked his arm and said, "IT OK JOE! Mommy's not really mad! Just bite your lip and look down!"
I kid you not , she said exactly that. As the room broke out in an uncontrolled fit of laughter, she looked around at all the faces smiling smugly as if saying, "Oh? Did I do that? Did I make you all just break with a case of the giggles? I just dropped some softening cuteness on all of your hard heads." The little girl is such a master.
Needless to say, what time was not spent that night drinking with my brothers and brother in law was passed playing with those two. And when it got late and they had to get ready to go home, Joe came up to me pouting and asked when we could play again. I told him very soon and he hugged me then went to the car in such a way that I am positive leaving my parent's little happy home was indeed the most melancholy event that has ever taken place in the history of they world; out of no where a crying violinist played his saddest tune. Next Claire came dancing, hugged me, kissed me sweetly on the cheek, and sang loudly to some unknown tune, "I GOT GO HOME NOW! LOVE YOU UNCKY NATE! BYE BYE!" then danced her way out of the house towards Joe who she bear hugged.
If you ever get to have relatives that are younger than 12, see them sometime. When you do, pick them up off the ground, spin them a few times in a circle, then toss them onto a couch, and run out of the room. They'll follow, I promise.