(no subject)
Thoughts From the Comode
Even though many of my freinds claim that I am far too nice to ever be the ass hole I dream of being, I do have an ass hole side to me that I take vast enjoyment in relieving, so to speak. I'm speaking about pooping.
Talking about dookie seems like a pretty crappy (ha!) topic for a post, but in all honesty I have very few good friends who don't find the topic as fascinating as I do. Indeed ladies, right after we getting done talking sex the topic we jump straight next to is dumping (The poop that is, not you). In a day and age of swollen prostrates, slowed matabolism, and spicy ethnic food available on every street corner, being able to enjoy a nice leisurely sit on our flushing thrones is a treat to bragged about with the fellas.
Some of my friends and I have entire stories we have carried with us for years ("Remember the time when I ate all that indian food and then drank two gallons of apple juice?"), exagerated fishing stories ("I once had a shit so big that it went from rim to porclein rim, I swear"), and of course, penial competetions ("Mine is so big, it's massive. 10 inches, atleast. How big is your's? I bet mine is bigger than yours. Not that makes you less of a man or anything."). Some dear friends of mine go so far as to have considered it a mighty knightly act, like a measure of manlieness and so call it, "Slaying a dragon". This nickname really gets its laughs when their mother uses it and then uses the "sword" to plunge and unclog the bowl. (And she's only ninety pounds, I swear.)
Maybe it's just that everyone can identify with the joy of a simple and free pleasure, whether it's eroctic, adrenline based, or smelly yet relieving. A good shit really is the perfect anti-thesis to a good meal. Really, it is. A good meal goes down easily and leaves you feeling full and content. A good shit goes out easy, leaves you feeling slightly empty, and content. The balance one provides the other is almost tangible.
I was going to make this my first political blog, but I guess this one will have to do instead. But, you know, considering on how I view politicians this is close enough to what I was going to write about anyways.
Oh, and what's spawned all this? I just have to brag and say it: I. HAVE. HAD. THE. BEST. SHITS. FOR. LIKE. TWO. WEEKS. STRAIGHT.
Even though many of my freinds claim that I am far too nice to ever be the ass hole I dream of being, I do have an ass hole side to me that I take vast enjoyment in relieving, so to speak. I'm speaking about pooping.
Talking about dookie seems like a pretty crappy (ha!) topic for a post, but in all honesty I have very few good friends who don't find the topic as fascinating as I do. Indeed ladies, right after we getting done talking sex the topic we jump straight next to is dumping (The poop that is, not you). In a day and age of swollen prostrates, slowed matabolism, and spicy ethnic food available on every street corner, being able to enjoy a nice leisurely sit on our flushing thrones is a treat to bragged about with the fellas.
Some of my friends and I have entire stories we have carried with us for years ("Remember the time when I ate all that indian food and then drank two gallons of apple juice?"), exagerated fishing stories ("I once had a shit so big that it went from rim to porclein rim, I swear"), and of course, penial competetions ("Mine is so big, it's massive. 10 inches, atleast. How big is your's? I bet mine is bigger than yours. Not that makes you less of a man or anything."). Some dear friends of mine go so far as to have considered it a mighty knightly act, like a measure of manlieness and so call it, "Slaying a dragon". This nickname really gets its laughs when their mother uses it and then uses the "sword" to plunge and unclog the bowl. (And she's only ninety pounds, I swear.)
Maybe it's just that everyone can identify with the joy of a simple and free pleasure, whether it's eroctic, adrenline based, or smelly yet relieving. A good shit really is the perfect anti-thesis to a good meal. Really, it is. A good meal goes down easily and leaves you feeling full and content. A good shit goes out easy, leaves you feeling slightly empty, and content. The balance one provides the other is almost tangible.
I was going to make this my first political blog, but I guess this one will have to do instead. But, you know, considering on how I view politicians this is close enough to what I was going to write about anyways.
Oh, and what's spawned all this? I just have to brag and say it: I. HAVE. HAD. THE. BEST. SHITS. FOR. LIKE. TWO. WEEKS. STRAIGHT.