Hrmmm...
Things are so bittersweet right now, i can't find my muse. There's so many things I want to write about, but oddly, i dont feel the need to. my new ability to communicate the way I feel with those around me has left my writing days in the dust. I wish this wasnt the case.
I cant wait to get back to carbondale.
I wish I could hang out with Jason (duder, you've been my best friend since I was born, I miss you so much...), Rawley(Love ya man, you never cease to amaze and amuse me...hope life is treating you well!), Leanne (I've seen you recently, but there's never enough pink marker in my life without you around!), Tracy (Words can't describe the friendship we've had, we've been through it all...wish we could hang out and talk for hours in your bedroom like we used to...), My buds in cdale (too many to mention, but you all have changed and influenced my life in so many ways, can't wait till your part of my life again!) and everyone else who lives so far away right now.
My Bass playing is getting amazing...I wish I could find a guitarist that really fits my style though. all the guitarists Ive had the pleasure to play with helped me grow and taught me a lot, but I guess i have a unique style...so perhaps ill never find my band...but ill definitly have a good time with the ones im with till i do!
Hmmm...might sound like bragging, but lately ive noticed a lot of girls drawn to me...just random ones too...maybe its always been like this and i just didnt notice...maybe somethings changed about me that makes me appealing to the opposite sex? They all seem to be vying for my eye contact, and when I talk to them they stand real close to me...which is really wierd considering I smell most of the time, and I havent been good at keeping upon things like shaving lately...It's kinda wierding me out...but I guess it makes me feel good at the same time. I do really want a girlfriend though...you know, someone i can spend all night talking to, and have my arm around her all the time, and hold hands...god, holding hands...I miss that so much, nobody does that anymore, I remember growing up, how magical and exciting it was just to hold the hand of someone you really liked, and neither of you wanted to let go no matter how uncomfortable the position, or how sweaty your hands got...better than sex I tell you. I guess I dont really follow the typical guy pattern in that fashion...I like sex, I think im pretty good at it, and I have cravings and desires...but I just like the feeling I get from mere sexual tension. I like the games of trying to figure out one another, the guessing of whether she likes me, the look in her eyes when she really wants me to make a move, but I dont. the little things she does when she wants me closer and i make her beg for more...I think I enjoy the power trip of knowing she wants me, but not letting her have it until she cant stand it anymore. but I like when girls do that to me too. I like to be teased...I want a girl to make me think of her all the time and wonder. I like girls to give me those sleepless nights where all i can do is lie in bed and picture her face as I run through every romantic and sexual fantasy in my head. I like sex where she wontlet me have anything till I cant take it anymore, or until she cant take it anymore...I like the idea of romance too...it kind plays on that teasing thing...you know,let her know you think of her at least sometimes,but never fully let on how much you think of her. and i like her to getreal close to me, so that, at that moment i know shes into me...but then act like she's not interested the next, so that i really dont know whats going on. I guess thats why noneof my relationships ever last long, and why when they end its so hard for me to give up. Cause when i get comfortable, i get bored, and when she appears to have moved on, i get interessted again. I guessno girl has found the right balance between leading me on, and pushing me away enough to keep me interested. Dont get me wrong...I dont wanta girl to cheat on me, or betray my trust...cause thats what i like most about having a girlfriend is having someone i can trust with all my heart and soul, and not have to worry about being hurt. Ive been really lucky so far, because as far as I know, none of the girls Ive dated have cheated on me.
I live for love. I feel the purpose in my life is to find that girl to fall in love with, who loves me just as much, and stay in love for the rest of my life. thats what would make me happier than the best band in the world, me best friends, or all the money I could handle. If I find that girl that I feel I would give anything up for, I promise myself to never let her go. But I dont think id fall in love with a girl that would ask me to give up any of those things. Id like to think that the person out there that would be the love of my life would understand how much music and my friends mean to me.
Hmmm... Someday... Someday...
Until next time, this WRIK signing off.
I cant wait to get back to carbondale.
I wish I could hang out with Jason (duder, you've been my best friend since I was born, I miss you so much...), Rawley(Love ya man, you never cease to amaze and amuse me...hope life is treating you well!), Leanne (I've seen you recently, but there's never enough pink marker in my life without you around!), Tracy (Words can't describe the friendship we've had, we've been through it all...wish we could hang out and talk for hours in your bedroom like we used to...), My buds in cdale (too many to mention, but you all have changed and influenced my life in so many ways, can't wait till your part of my life again!) and everyone else who lives so far away right now.
My Bass playing is getting amazing...I wish I could find a guitarist that really fits my style though. all the guitarists Ive had the pleasure to play with helped me grow and taught me a lot, but I guess i have a unique style...so perhaps ill never find my band...but ill definitly have a good time with the ones im with till i do!
Hmmm...might sound like bragging, but lately ive noticed a lot of girls drawn to me...just random ones too...maybe its always been like this and i just didnt notice...maybe somethings changed about me that makes me appealing to the opposite sex? They all seem to be vying for my eye contact, and when I talk to them they stand real close to me...which is really wierd considering I smell most of the time, and I havent been good at keeping upon things like shaving lately...It's kinda wierding me out...but I guess it makes me feel good at the same time. I do really want a girlfriend though...you know, someone i can spend all night talking to, and have my arm around her all the time, and hold hands...god, holding hands...I miss that so much, nobody does that anymore, I remember growing up, how magical and exciting it was just to hold the hand of someone you really liked, and neither of you wanted to let go no matter how uncomfortable the position, or how sweaty your hands got...better than sex I tell you. I guess I dont really follow the typical guy pattern in that fashion...I like sex, I think im pretty good at it, and I have cravings and desires...but I just like the feeling I get from mere sexual tension. I like the games of trying to figure out one another, the guessing of whether she likes me, the look in her eyes when she really wants me to make a move, but I dont. the little things she does when she wants me closer and i make her beg for more...I think I enjoy the power trip of knowing she wants me, but not letting her have it until she cant stand it anymore. but I like when girls do that to me too. I like to be teased...I want a girl to make me think of her all the time and wonder. I like girls to give me those sleepless nights where all i can do is lie in bed and picture her face as I run through every romantic and sexual fantasy in my head. I like sex where she wontlet me have anything till I cant take it anymore, or until she cant take it anymore...I like the idea of romance too...it kind plays on that teasing thing...you know,let her know you think of her at least sometimes,but never fully let on how much you think of her. and i like her to getreal close to me, so that, at that moment i know shes into me...but then act like she's not interested the next, so that i really dont know whats going on. I guess thats why noneof my relationships ever last long, and why when they end its so hard for me to give up. Cause when i get comfortable, i get bored, and when she appears to have moved on, i get interessted again. I guessno girl has found the right balance between leading me on, and pushing me away enough to keep me interested. Dont get me wrong...I dont wanta girl to cheat on me, or betray my trust...cause thats what i like most about having a girlfriend is having someone i can trust with all my heart and soul, and not have to worry about being hurt. Ive been really lucky so far, because as far as I know, none of the girls Ive dated have cheated on me.
I live for love. I feel the purpose in my life is to find that girl to fall in love with, who loves me just as much, and stay in love for the rest of my life. thats what would make me happier than the best band in the world, me best friends, or all the money I could handle. If I find that girl that I feel I would give anything up for, I promise myself to never let her go. But I dont think id fall in love with a girl that would ask me to give up any of those things. Id like to think that the person out there that would be the love of my life would understand how much music and my friends mean to me.
Hmmm... Someday... Someday...
Until next time, this WRIK signing off.