Same old, same old

[rijane99]

 I'm lonely and I'm homesick and I've proven that even if I upend my entire life, nothing really changes. I still struggle to make friends, romantic connections or even more than passing acquaintances. And it's all my fault. I don't go out, I don't join clubs (or I join a couple and get pissy in fairly short order and quit

Comments

[lila_roxo]

Ri. Stop being a hard-ass on your lily delicate buttocks. Some people aren't meant to be extremely perky and sociable, and I happen to like those people, because the friends they do pick and keep generally are of better quality (oh hai, see what I did there?).

Dammit, you are a brave, brave woman to move away from everything you know and attempt to get a new job, new life. Its okay if you take some time to adjust, and its also okay if you can't quite break out of patterns as quickly as you'd hoped. Change takes time, and in the cases I've seen, it takes better if its done a chip at a time. Chip chip chip away, and don't doubt yourself.
That doesn't mean introspection isn't good, it just means don't let the rear-view mirror keep you from seeing a head-on collision.

Or so my psychologist says. She has a lot of crazy car metaphors. But for the most part, I agree! You're courageous, self-pity sometimes helps, and friends will come. So what if its never a huge group? IMO, its better to have a select few you know without a doubt you can trust.

[rijane99]

I do see what you did there ;) And you're mostly right about having a few good friends - I'm generally fine with that and love the friends I do have, but I really haven't made a lot of friends here. And by not a lot, I mean I can go four or five days without human interaction if I don't have class. I'm hoping moving on campus will help - we have a weekly house dinner in which I will *have* to talk to people and people will generally have to talk to me. Also, there's free wine, which makes everything better.

That was mostly a really tough night, but I am being anti-social. I most stay in my room and dick around on the internet or study. That's sort of what kills me - I thought I'd change my behaviours because I changed my location, but I'm doing the same things wrong again and again and again.

I like your psychologist- good advice and positive metaphors FTW! It's like I'm getting therapy for free on the interwebs!

Thanks for the kind thoughts and good advice!