back... home?
I arrived back in England this morning.
I don't think I can tell another person that I'm home. I'm not home; this isn't home. I've been miserable since I left Chicago. I cried like a little girl when the plane took off and I've been struggling to so much as smile since I touched down in London. I had seriously underestimated how horrible this country is. I wish I were back in America. I can only think about planning my next trip there, and it hurts to know that I'm going to be stuck here for months before that happens. I'm not even sure at this point how I'm going to cope with that. I miss No-no, Matty and Vani so much I don't even know what to say. I'd give just about anything for a hug from them right now.
ubermammal: but, well... I guess the american approach would be to say
ubermammal: when life gives you citrus pessimism, you make citrus pessimismade
ubermammal: and then sell it
rihatsu62: hmm
rihatsu62: you know, there might actually be a market for pessimismade in england
ubermammal: all-british pessimism in a convenient bottled/canned form
ubermammal: ideal for the shellshocked, hope-bereft city gent on the go
rihatsu62: ...[adores]
ubermammal: the crushed and broken dreams of a generation have never tasted so good
England is shit. Pure shit. There are no chavs in Seattle. It was clean and had beautiful buildings, and everything was pleasant and convenient and optimistic. In London it's dirty and pessimistic, and everything has an air of suspicion and resentment. In the rest of England it's worse, the exception being Oxford which is slowly going to pot anyway. In England, everything is "good enough". In America, things are as good as possible. I haven't felt nearly this rough in a very long time. I'm not sure I have ever outright hated everything about my environment.
I want to go home. =(
I don't think I can tell another person that I'm home. I'm not home; this isn't home. I've been miserable since I left Chicago. I cried like a little girl when the plane took off and I've been struggling to so much as smile since I touched down in London. I had seriously underestimated how horrible this country is. I wish I were back in America. I can only think about planning my next trip there, and it hurts to know that I'm going to be stuck here for months before that happens. I'm not even sure at this point how I'm going to cope with that. I miss No-no, Matty and Vani so much I don't even know what to say. I'd give just about anything for a hug from them right now.
ubermammal: but, well... I guess the american approach would be to say
ubermammal: when life gives you citrus pessimism, you make citrus pessimismade
ubermammal: and then sell it
rihatsu62: hmm
rihatsu62: you know, there might actually be a market for pessimismade in england
ubermammal: all-british pessimism in a convenient bottled/canned form
ubermammal: ideal for the shellshocked, hope-bereft city gent on the go
rihatsu62: ...[adores]
ubermammal: the crushed and broken dreams of a generation have never tasted so good
England is shit. Pure shit. There are no chavs in Seattle. It was clean and had beautiful buildings, and everything was pleasant and convenient and optimistic. In London it's dirty and pessimistic, and everything has an air of suspicion and resentment. In the rest of England it's worse, the exception being Oxford which is slowly going to pot anyway. In England, everything is "good enough". In America, things are as good as possible. I haven't felt nearly this rough in a very long time. I'm not sure I have ever outright hated everything about my environment.
I want to go home. =(