At risk of losing someone...
So this is an odd entry to follow the previous one, since it was all happy and wonderful about Bob. I was dropped a bomb last night. The poor kid is under a lot of stress and going through the typical Orlando sucks phase. His job plans did not work out like he wanted and he is not having luck finding another one. Health issues, financial issues, etc. Therefore he is not sure he is at the place in his life where he wants a boyfriend :-( This was all part of a long conversation last night that I am still crying from almost 12 hours later.
I have stuck by the kid for two months through all the junk he has been put through and I would/will continue to do so. Job searching, money, etc are sucky things in life we all deal with. I have been there many a times, and I know it makes you seem like the world suck and nothing will get better. I pray everyday that he finds a job because I know how much happier it would make him. He has a great group of friends here.
He is honestly the best person I have ever had come into my life, and I mean that. He has treated me better in two months that anyone else I have dated regardless of the amount of time we were together. I see a future with him, I know he is not just some flake who will screw me over later. I struggle with bills and jobs, I work insane hours, but it is just part of life. And he was the one very happy thing I had going on. I looked forward each day just to hear his voice and know that I had someone that great in my life. I know that once he gets a job he will hopefully see that things will turn around and they just take time. I don't want to lose him and yes this may sound like I'm putting up a fight or a plea. But hey I really just don't want this kid out of my life. I am so sick of being hurt and finding someone I like and then they leave me. I really can't even describe how much I looked forward to a future with Bob. These feelings are not just because it is still relatively new and mushy mushy. I see something with him that I have not seen before. I like being around him, his friends, he has a good head on his shoulders and goals. He wants a good life for himself just like every other person does.
I have not stopped crying since last night. I do not want to go to work becuase of how horrible I look and the mood I am. We basically left things at that I will give him some time to think and work things out. I feel bad even saying that because I am not asking for an ultimatium or pressuring him. I want this to work and I really hope and pray that he does too. So basically now I am just going to wait and hope that I get a call, message, or something from him. If not then I will have to understand and move on. I was happy, truly happy, and I do not want to lose the best person that has ever came into my life...
Ok I need to stop I can't see the screen anymore and I know I am just rambling and this sounds pathetic...
"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn, Is Just To Love And Be Loved In Return"
I have stuck by the kid for two months through all the junk he has been put through and I would/will continue to do so. Job searching, money, etc are sucky things in life we all deal with. I have been there many a times, and I know it makes you seem like the world suck and nothing will get better. I pray everyday that he finds a job because I know how much happier it would make him. He has a great group of friends here.
He is honestly the best person I have ever had come into my life, and I mean that. He has treated me better in two months that anyone else I have dated regardless of the amount of time we were together. I see a future with him, I know he is not just some flake who will screw me over later. I struggle with bills and jobs, I work insane hours, but it is just part of life. And he was the one very happy thing I had going on. I looked forward each day just to hear his voice and know that I had someone that great in my life. I know that once he gets a job he will hopefully see that things will turn around and they just take time. I don't want to lose him and yes this may sound like I'm putting up a fight or a plea. But hey I really just don't want this kid out of my life. I am so sick of being hurt and finding someone I like and then they leave me. I really can't even describe how much I looked forward to a future with Bob. These feelings are not just because it is still relatively new and mushy mushy. I see something with him that I have not seen before. I like being around him, his friends, he has a good head on his shoulders and goals. He wants a good life for himself just like every other person does.
I have not stopped crying since last night. I do not want to go to work becuase of how horrible I look and the mood I am. We basically left things at that I will give him some time to think and work things out. I feel bad even saying that because I am not asking for an ultimatium or pressuring him. I want this to work and I really hope and pray that he does too. So basically now I am just going to wait and hope that I get a call, message, or something from him. If not then I will have to understand and move on. I was happy, truly happy, and I do not want to lose the best person that has ever came into my life...
Ok I need to stop I can't see the screen anymore and I know I am just rambling and this sounds pathetic...
"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn, Is Just To Love And Be Loved In Return"