wasssssssssssssssssssup
i suppose as i sit half-nude with the sun beating down on my back through my window while i patiently wait for my shirt to soak and hopefully be free of ketchup stains, ill post a lil somethin' somethin'.
dave and i are still broken up. for good. you know how sometimes couples do that bullshit on/off thing? well not me. no way jose. its a done deal and i fuckin' looove it. its not that dave actually sucks or anything, its just that we are SO different and see things much differently. i knew it would never work and our relationship was hopeless when i once held a shell to my ear and said "oh..i hear the ocean..." and he immediately started correcting me about how it isn't actually the ocean i was hearing. umm.. well.. DUH? im not a fucking retard haha. it's a soothing sound, and it has a lot of childhood senimental value..i remember as a young tot, i would always put a shell to my hear and think i could hear the seagulls and the rolling waves.
i have my fancies but overall, i just like being me. alone and happy.
memories have been pilin' up so high in my noggin that i can't even keep up. i am meeting new faces every day.. and growing up a little more every day as well. the social anxiety i once experienced is slowly diminishing, im starting to truly understand and apply the concept of: who gives a fuck? life is life, people arent going to always like you, so don't bend and mold yourself into an image you think will be pleasing to the general population. although i am part of the general population, i am different. i am a unique soul with unique thoughts with a fine and devine love of life and the only one i need to be accepted by is ME. this was completely besides the point.
I AM GOING TO BONAROO !!!!!!!!!!!!! by some freak stroke of amazing luck i get to hop on the bandwagon and join some fresh friends for a fun time.. i am beyond excited. there are some bands and musicians playing that have songs that have made an impact on my life forever, and to have the chance to see them live, that's an experience i just can't pass up, and hope to remember forever. who knows what those few days are going to bring. some sort of madness and drunken nonsense. maybe even a bit of acid if im a lucky duck.
i am now 21. thats very odd to say because i still look up to 21 year olds, and now i am one. you know, i wish i would have done something better with my life for my age, but when i think back, i have such fond memories and experiences and have actually learned and dabbled in so much that i think im at a good place. for all that ive done, here i am, chipper as ever in a comfortable home with a steady job and great friends and a whole life ahead.. i may move out to colorado and work at a ski resort this year, or do something to that effect in the near future. one day at a time, though. i have a feeling my personality will take me to very interesting places.. education, its not something i DONT want.. but i know myself. and i know that the time is simply not right. i trust in myself.
two of my best friends in the whole world will be here in a week.. i felt so lost without them for so long, and i've learned to adapt since theyve been gone. i am so excited.. but will they see the changes in me? or will they look in my eyes and see the sparkle that made them love me in the first place? i find myself rather charming sometimes.
dave and i are still broken up. for good. you know how sometimes couples do that bullshit on/off thing? well not me. no way jose. its a done deal and i fuckin' looove it. its not that dave actually sucks or anything, its just that we are SO different and see things much differently. i knew it would never work and our relationship was hopeless when i once held a shell to my ear and said "oh..i hear the ocean..." and he immediately started correcting me about how it isn't actually the ocean i was hearing. umm.. well.. DUH? im not a fucking retard haha. it's a soothing sound, and it has a lot of childhood senimental value..i remember as a young tot, i would always put a shell to my hear and think i could hear the seagulls and the rolling waves.
i have my fancies but overall, i just like being me. alone and happy.
memories have been pilin' up so high in my noggin that i can't even keep up. i am meeting new faces every day.. and growing up a little more every day as well. the social anxiety i once experienced is slowly diminishing, im starting to truly understand and apply the concept of: who gives a fuck? life is life, people arent going to always like you, so don't bend and mold yourself into an image you think will be pleasing to the general population. although i am part of the general population, i am different. i am a unique soul with unique thoughts with a fine and devine love of life and the only one i need to be accepted by is ME. this was completely besides the point.
I AM GOING TO BONAROO !!!!!!!!!!!!! by some freak stroke of amazing luck i get to hop on the bandwagon and join some fresh friends for a fun time.. i am beyond excited. there are some bands and musicians playing that have songs that have made an impact on my life forever, and to have the chance to see them live, that's an experience i just can't pass up, and hope to remember forever. who knows what those few days are going to bring. some sort of madness and drunken nonsense. maybe even a bit of acid if im a lucky duck.
i am now 21. thats very odd to say because i still look up to 21 year olds, and now i am one. you know, i wish i would have done something better with my life for my age, but when i think back, i have such fond memories and experiences and have actually learned and dabbled in so much that i think im at a good place. for all that ive done, here i am, chipper as ever in a comfortable home with a steady job and great friends and a whole life ahead.. i may move out to colorado and work at a ski resort this year, or do something to that effect in the near future. one day at a time, though. i have a feeling my personality will take me to very interesting places.. education, its not something i DONT want.. but i know myself. and i know that the time is simply not right. i trust in myself.
two of my best friends in the whole world will be here in a week.. i felt so lost without them for so long, and i've learned to adapt since theyve been gone. i am so excited.. but will they see the changes in me? or will they look in my eyes and see the sparkle that made them love me in the first place? i find myself rather charming sometimes.