By Your Side (Side 2)
Title : By Your Side
Author : Rien
Rating : PG-14 (for a bad words.. sorry this is only a plot of story~<3)
Words : 2544
Yamachii~<3
Sorry.. I still haven’t time to reply all comment. I will, I promise. I can’t read any fanfic too right now..T_T
I don’t know when I can posted again. Maybe weekend? I will post By Your Side last part..~~
Just want to say thank you to all who read and comment. And welcome to my new reader, thank you for read and comment. I really love you guys..
I must moving and I have to deal with my college. I hope you will continue waiting and reading..~3~
I really love you all..^3^
Autumn is going to end..
"Tch!" He always hated autumn, this season have orange color in the sky as if to tell him it's time to remember his past.
"I hate the color of this dress .." at this time he wore an yellow shirt with a pink cardigan, absolutely not the color which he likes. Because of all, he always wore a dark color. Someone had put this clothes neatly at his bedside in the hospital, so he had no choice but to wear this clothes because he not have another clothes.
He stared back at the hospital just to convinced himself, if no one followed him at this time. After seeing no one behind him, he walked slowly out of the hospital.
"Fuuhh .. Who was brought me here?" he looked at his watch.
"Shit! I have class in half an hour .."
****
"I think, his first reaction when I tell he has a disease in his body. He already knew that there was something unusual in his body.. He was preaparing himself for the bad news." Yuto stared and smiled a little to Yamada.
"You look like his mother .." Yamada pulled his fingertips from his lips. He was not aware he having bitten it. He looked at Yuto without a feeling was reflected in his eyes.
"Why don’t you tell me about him?" Yuto sighed at Yamada’s question.
"He isn’t your patient anymore, Yamada And as his doctor I have to deal with his privacy from other people.."
"But you know I'm dating with him, right now! And this isn’t something normal to you to keep it hidden from me!" Yuto pressed his back to chair, he was surprised at Yamada sudden anger.
"I intend to tell you. But I'm a little confused with your relationship with him. How about Shida .. you .. and then .." Yamada finally quiet and sit more calm, without saying anything. Yuto thinks about another thing to talk to change the atmosphere.
"I had looking about Chinen’s family information. He has one brother and his mother is currently busy taking care of his father's company.. Perhaps because they are so busy they paying no attention to Chinen’s condition.."
Yamada furrowed his brow and then wait for Yuto to continue the story.
"Chinen’s father had passed away..
They have the same disease... "
"..." This time Yamada does not know how to react.
"Do you understand? Why did I say Chinen seems to have knew he had know there would be a bad news to him?"
Yamada eyes became dim slowly.. he bit his lower lip.
"I think I also know now why Chinen become a deliquent .." say him quietly.
"I thought, I don’t have much. Maybe it’s only 2 years, Yamada. I was hoping for the longest time, but we must work hard.." Yuto smiled as he rolled up his white coat.
Yamada nodded.
"I'll help you .."
****
"MIYU! HEY! YOU A BIG BREASTS!" Chinen yelled in front of student services office’s counter to women who being a workers in that section.
"Shut up, Chinen! Can’t you see? I was busy making coffee?"
"Go here now and serve me, or I will make some milk from your breasts .." (I can’t help myself ;p)
"You! What do you want?! Why did you come here? '"
"Give me my title that I've asked two years ago, Miyu ~ I'll do it this year .." Chinen changed his tone become the cute one, when that women had working in front of her computer.
"Your title? Did you have give it to Ryutaro, haven’t you?"
"What?"
"Look Chinen, I don’t want to hear your foolish babble in here. And I'm not sure you were here to see my breast, because I know exactly what you want to suck ..." Chinen didn’t hear her coarse jokes, his angry eyes locked at the letter which her was printed out.
"It's a statement that you created yourself, with your real signature .." Chinen took the letter from Miyu’s hand with a bit rough.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
Without answering the question, Chinen went looking for ryutaro. He bit his lip, it wasn’t time to cry. He already knew he have more bitter reality to confront in his life. But Ryutaro is his friend, his best friend..
"Ryu-chan!" Ryutaro raised his head from the book he was reading and then his eyes stared at a letter which was Chinen thrown into his face and fell to the table.
"I don’t remember, I had signed that statement?! You stole my project You're shit!”
"Chinen, I .."
" SHUT UP! I don’t want to hear anything from your disgusting lips! Don’t ever showing your face before my eyes again!”
"Chinen!"
"Shit!" Chinen kick a bookshelves in front of him. Then wandering aimlessly around a maze full of books in this library. He stopped at one corner between the high shelves full of books and fell to his knees. His eyes stared out the large window in front of him, the sky was so dim in this fall season..
No, he didn’t have to cry..
He will not cry.
"Yuri?"
"Ng?"
"Yuri.. OH! Yuri ..!" Chinen was still kneeling on the floor when, his friend hugged him..
No, he never had a friend ..
****
"Why? Why did you go to an empty room?" Yamada sighed. Almost .. he almost took Shida to meet Chinen. This time the only one he have in his mind is his will to be with Chinen and he will do anything for that purpose. So earlier, when his brain force him to rushed. He immediately brought Shida to meet with Chinen. When his eyes looked at the empty bed. He tried to think back to with more calm..
The best words to break up with Shida ..
"I think, you were here to check someone, Ryosuke? But this room is empty.. Are you want to talk about something with me?"
"Shida, hear .. you have to help me. I can’t continue our relationship.. I had falling in love with someone else. For two months I have been having an affair with someone behind you.." Shida eyes widening, she stared at her lover unbelievable.
"You lie.."
"Shida, you know I really like Ryota. He was my first patient at this hospital. And I fell in love with his persistence and his intelligence. I really liked and admired him, so when he got healed. I don’t want to be apart away with him, so I agreed to date with you. I’m dating not because I love you ... " Yamada feel guilty when he saw tears falling from Shida’s eyes.
"I want to love someone who I’m truly in love. That's why I want us to break up ..."
"YAMADA! YOU BASTARD! YOU LIE TO ME! AND YOU CHEATING BEHIND ME!" Hard slap was landing in that doctor’s handsome face. But he did not try to fight, he knows that he deserves it.
"You don’t know what I’m going to hurt? Ryota will going so hurt?? You .. you .. who is she? Who is he?"
"Just hear me, Shida .."
"I WON’T TO LET YOU GO!"
“BUT SHIDA, I DO NOT LOVE YOU!"
"What?"
The sound of a pencil and a book that fell to the floor, turned the attention that pair who fight hard. Ryota’s confused face even make Yamada’s heart hurt.
"Why are you making my mother cry, Ryoue? Why did you say that? That you don’t love my mother? "Yamada fell silent, he bowed his face. Although Ryota just 6 year kid, he should know this fact.. Yamada know that without keeping his relationship with Shida, he knew he would not be allowed to approached Ryota.
" Ryoue?? What does this mean? You're not going to leave mother and me, right? Say that if you love us?" Ryota ran to Yamada side and pulled his doctors coat. That boy’s eyes filled with tears.
"I must go, Ryota .. "
"RYOSUKE!" Shida tried to stop Yamada make his further statement, no, she has not fully given to release Yamada.
"I love someone else .." Finally that small kid crying, his breathing fast and his tears streaming down his cheek to his neck.
"You do not love us anymore?" Ryota walk backwards from Yamada, he clutching his own chest..
"Agh .." suddenly Ryota felt everything going black around him.
"RYOTA!"
His heart ..
****
"This is my favorite book .. and my favorite ice cream. .."
"Thank you, Inoo-chan .. when you come back from France?"
"Two days ago?" that clean-faced man smiled at Chinen. They sat in one of the outdoor cafe near the university. Not so many people who come to this place, because this season actually in the lowest temperature. And not a moment to sit outside in the cold wind and eat ice cream at this cafe. But Chinen himself who demand from ice cream he want something for cooling his chest, and his other requests was a book in his hands now ..
"I'm going to be a lecturer.."
"Owaaa .." Chinen give his plain reaction, his eyes can’t be separated from the book before him. He was scanned all picture in that book.
"Yuri, I’m so sorry .."
"What are you doing? You needn’t to apologize .."
"I left you at that moment. Me who have introducing you to the alcohol and drugs. But when I step out of from that black hole, I did not pull you out form there with me.. I .."
"Inoo-chan! Why do you give a book about butterflies to me?"
“Ah .. I always see it when I was sad. And it has always managed to make me in peace. And forget if at that time I should cry.."
"You're right." Chinen smile at him..
"I want to graduate this year .."
"You're will managed to do that.."
"Look, I believe if we have been given our second chance .." Inoo looked at Chinen’s bright eyes and smiled wider.
"And you are the best example to me, Inoo-chan. I will not waste this opportunity.. I will be successful like you ..." Inoo nodded and could not hold back his tears, it flowed to his cheek.
His tears of happiness..
****
"Ryosuke!" Shida quickly ran and grabbed Yamada’s clothes when that doctor just out of surgery room.
"How is Ryota?! Tell me how is he?"
"Relax, he's stable, now.." Yamada stroked Shida’s arm. Then let go of her grip at his hand, gently.
"You can talk with Yuto, he is Ryota’s doctor, now ..."
"But .. Ryosuke, Ryota need you! Please stay with me, we all need you .. please, don’t go .." Yamada frozen in his place, he almost fainted from exhaustion. He really want his brain stops working right now. Why didn’t he just become crazy?
"Shida .. please .." Yamada kneeling before Shida as his hands grabbed her shoulders tightly.
"I'm not going to go, if it makes Ryota’s condition more worse. But please.. I can’t love you .." Shida almost seeing Yamada cried. She lost all her strength, the power to make Yamada still love her. Because she could see that clearly, this man loves someone else..
And the fact that Ryota didn’t like him love another person just enough to make him going into his most miserable.
****
His weak smile appeared on his face when he saw the man who he loved, sleeping on the dining table with papers strewn on his head. He smiled broadly when he realized Chinen clothes’s color, the colors are he really want to put on his boyfriend. Slowly he removed a pencil from Chinen’s strong grip hands. His hands took the paper from under Chinen’s head and his eyes widened surprises.
Butterfly.
Not a full of butterfly drawing just a simply painted a butterfly form.
Without color.
Only smooth pencil strokes. He just draw all the butterflies bones.
But that picture is so detailed which picturing a bare butterlies form. An skeleton, framework, design and plan..
This made him feel amazing. Indeed, his boyfriend is very clever.
“Yuri.. " Yamada kissed Chinen’s head.
-Slap!-
"AH!" with shock Yamada touching his cheek which just Chinen slap in his delirious. Is he really deserves to be slapped in the face, this day?
"You are so stubborn ... " Yamada picked Chinen up from the chair and carried him into bed room.
" I remember this parfume smell..."
"You already awake?"
"Last night you who took me to the hospital.." Yamada smiled and lowered his eyes to locked it with Chinen’s eyes which were open, now. That beautiful eyes always made him not want to get out of from his sight..
"Stupid .."
"Mmm?"
"Why did you save me, Ryosuke?" Yamada put his forehead at Chinen’s, their lips almost touching.
"I think you don’t want to die, I think you don’t want to leave me.. Yuri .."
"But I .. I can’t change the destiny.. can I?" his voice trembling when he can feel Yamada’s warm make his heart feel content.
{
But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love
And I miss use love
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back
~silverchair- miss you love~
}
They stood there in the middle of the room. Yamada still carried Chinen’s body, and that young man had his arm circled around Yamada’s neck. Their lips touched each other..
Slowly he opened his mouth, beckoning his lover tongue to enter. Yamada without thinking lapped at the hot muscle inside. This is different from they usual kiss, this not rough or too excited. But full of emotion and sincerity as they sealing their feeling to each other.
Yamada can feel Chinen’s feeling right now, through this kiss. All..
His sad ..
His confused ..
His suffer ..
Made him hurt and he was not expected his tears will flowed..
"Ryosuke, please.. don’t .." Yamada closed his eyes when he felt Chinen’s tongue licking his tears.
"Yuri .."
"I don’t know.. how I'm supposed to love you back? I don’t know .. When my time will over.. I don’t know .." Chinen put his head under Yamada’s chin and gently kissed his throat.
“Just, love me back.. ”
“Mmm..” chinen sniffed Yamada's body scent and smiled.
"I will..
I will.."
And they kissed again..
I will miss you love..
****
To Be Continue
Fyuuh.. wiped my sweat ^^
Jaa~
Author : Rien
Rating : PG-14 (for a bad words.. sorry this is only a plot of story~<3)
Words : 2544
Yamachii~<3
Sorry.. I still haven’t time to reply all comment. I will, I promise. I can’t read any fanfic too right now..T_T
I don’t know when I can posted again. Maybe weekend? I will post By Your Side last part..~~
Just want to say thank you to all who read and comment. And welcome to my new reader, thank you for read and comment. I really love you guys..
I must moving and I have to deal with my college. I hope you will continue waiting and reading..~3~
I really love you all..^3^
Autumn is going to end..
"Tch!" He always hated autumn, this season have orange color in the sky as if to tell him it's time to remember his past.
"I hate the color of this dress .." at this time he wore an yellow shirt with a pink cardigan, absolutely not the color which he likes. Because of all, he always wore a dark color. Someone had put this clothes neatly at his bedside in the hospital, so he had no choice but to wear this clothes because he not have another clothes.
He stared back at the hospital just to convinced himself, if no one followed him at this time. After seeing no one behind him, he walked slowly out of the hospital.
"Fuuhh .. Who was brought me here?" he looked at his watch.
"Shit! I have class in half an hour .."
****
"I think, his first reaction when I tell he has a disease in his body. He already knew that there was something unusual in his body.. He was preaparing himself for the bad news." Yuto stared and smiled a little to Yamada.
"You look like his mother .." Yamada pulled his fingertips from his lips. He was not aware he having bitten it. He looked at Yuto without a feeling was reflected in his eyes.
"Why don’t you tell me about him?" Yuto sighed at Yamada’s question.
"He isn’t your patient anymore, Yamada And as his doctor I have to deal with his privacy from other people.."
"But you know I'm dating with him, right now! And this isn’t something normal to you to keep it hidden from me!" Yuto pressed his back to chair, he was surprised at Yamada sudden anger.
"I intend to tell you. But I'm a little confused with your relationship with him. How about Shida .. you .. and then .." Yamada finally quiet and sit more calm, without saying anything. Yuto thinks about another thing to talk to change the atmosphere.
"I had looking about Chinen’s family information. He has one brother and his mother is currently busy taking care of his father's company.. Perhaps because they are so busy they paying no attention to Chinen’s condition.."
Yamada furrowed his brow and then wait for Yuto to continue the story.
"Chinen’s father had passed away..
They have the same disease... "
"..." This time Yamada does not know how to react.
"Do you understand? Why did I say Chinen seems to have knew he had know there would be a bad news to him?"
Yamada eyes became dim slowly.. he bit his lower lip.
"I think I also know now why Chinen become a deliquent .." say him quietly.
"I thought, I don’t have much. Maybe it’s only 2 years, Yamada. I was hoping for the longest time, but we must work hard.." Yuto smiled as he rolled up his white coat.
Yamada nodded.
"I'll help you .."
****
"MIYU! HEY! YOU A BIG BREASTS!" Chinen yelled in front of student services office’s counter to women who being a workers in that section.
"Shut up, Chinen! Can’t you see? I was busy making coffee?"
"Go here now and serve me, or I will make some milk from your breasts .." (I can’t help myself ;p)
"You! What do you want?! Why did you come here? '"
"Give me my title that I've asked two years ago, Miyu ~ I'll do it this year .." Chinen changed his tone become the cute one, when that women had working in front of her computer.
"Your title? Did you have give it to Ryutaro, haven’t you?"
"What?"
"Look Chinen, I don’t want to hear your foolish babble in here. And I'm not sure you were here to see my breast, because I know exactly what you want to suck ..." Chinen didn’t hear her coarse jokes, his angry eyes locked at the letter which her was printed out.
"It's a statement that you created yourself, with your real signature .." Chinen took the letter from Miyu’s hand with a bit rough.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
Without answering the question, Chinen went looking for ryutaro. He bit his lip, it wasn’t time to cry. He already knew he have more bitter reality to confront in his life. But Ryutaro is his friend, his best friend..
"Ryu-chan!" Ryutaro raised his head from the book he was reading and then his eyes stared at a letter which was Chinen thrown into his face and fell to the table.
"I don’t remember, I had signed that statement?! You stole my project You're shit!”
"Chinen, I .."
" SHUT UP! I don’t want to hear anything from your disgusting lips! Don’t ever showing your face before my eyes again!”
"Chinen!"
"Shit!" Chinen kick a bookshelves in front of him. Then wandering aimlessly around a maze full of books in this library. He stopped at one corner between the high shelves full of books and fell to his knees. His eyes stared out the large window in front of him, the sky was so dim in this fall season..
No, he didn’t have to cry..
He will not cry.
"Yuri?"
"Ng?"
"Yuri.. OH! Yuri ..!" Chinen was still kneeling on the floor when, his friend hugged him..
No, he never had a friend ..
****
"Why? Why did you go to an empty room?" Yamada sighed. Almost .. he almost took Shida to meet Chinen. This time the only one he have in his mind is his will to be with Chinen and he will do anything for that purpose. So earlier, when his brain force him to rushed. He immediately brought Shida to meet with Chinen. When his eyes looked at the empty bed. He tried to think back to with more calm..
The best words to break up with Shida ..
"I think, you were here to check someone, Ryosuke? But this room is empty.. Are you want to talk about something with me?"
"Shida, hear .. you have to help me. I can’t continue our relationship.. I had falling in love with someone else. For two months I have been having an affair with someone behind you.." Shida eyes widening, she stared at her lover unbelievable.
"You lie.."
"Shida, you know I really like Ryota. He was my first patient at this hospital. And I fell in love with his persistence and his intelligence. I really liked and admired him, so when he got healed. I don’t want to be apart away with him, so I agreed to date with you. I’m dating not because I love you ... " Yamada feel guilty when he saw tears falling from Shida’s eyes.
"I want to love someone who I’m truly in love. That's why I want us to break up ..."
"YAMADA! YOU BASTARD! YOU LIE TO ME! AND YOU CHEATING BEHIND ME!" Hard slap was landing in that doctor’s handsome face. But he did not try to fight, he knows that he deserves it.
"You don’t know what I’m going to hurt? Ryota will going so hurt?? You .. you .. who is she? Who is he?"
"Just hear me, Shida .."
"I WON’T TO LET YOU GO!"
“BUT SHIDA, I DO NOT LOVE YOU!"
"What?"
The sound of a pencil and a book that fell to the floor, turned the attention that pair who fight hard. Ryota’s confused face even make Yamada’s heart hurt.
"Why are you making my mother cry, Ryoue? Why did you say that? That you don’t love my mother? "Yamada fell silent, he bowed his face. Although Ryota just 6 year kid, he should know this fact.. Yamada know that without keeping his relationship with Shida, he knew he would not be allowed to approached Ryota.
" Ryoue?? What does this mean? You're not going to leave mother and me, right? Say that if you love us?" Ryota ran to Yamada side and pulled his doctors coat. That boy’s eyes filled with tears.
"I must go, Ryota .. "
"RYOSUKE!" Shida tried to stop Yamada make his further statement, no, she has not fully given to release Yamada.
"I love someone else .." Finally that small kid crying, his breathing fast and his tears streaming down his cheek to his neck.
"You do not love us anymore?" Ryota walk backwards from Yamada, he clutching his own chest..
"Agh .." suddenly Ryota felt everything going black around him.
"RYOTA!"
His heart ..
****
"This is my favorite book .. and my favorite ice cream. .."
"Thank you, Inoo-chan .. when you come back from France?"
"Two days ago?" that clean-faced man smiled at Chinen. They sat in one of the outdoor cafe near the university. Not so many people who come to this place, because this season actually in the lowest temperature. And not a moment to sit outside in the cold wind and eat ice cream at this cafe. But Chinen himself who demand from ice cream he want something for cooling his chest, and his other requests was a book in his hands now ..
"I'm going to be a lecturer.."
"Owaaa .." Chinen give his plain reaction, his eyes can’t be separated from the book before him. He was scanned all picture in that book.
"Yuri, I’m so sorry .."
"What are you doing? You needn’t to apologize .."
"I left you at that moment. Me who have introducing you to the alcohol and drugs. But when I step out of from that black hole, I did not pull you out form there with me.. I .."
"Inoo-chan! Why do you give a book about butterflies to me?"
“Ah .. I always see it when I was sad. And it has always managed to make me in peace. And forget if at that time I should cry.."
"You're right." Chinen smile at him..
"I want to graduate this year .."
"You're will managed to do that.."
"Look, I believe if we have been given our second chance .." Inoo looked at Chinen’s bright eyes and smiled wider.
"And you are the best example to me, Inoo-chan. I will not waste this opportunity.. I will be successful like you ..." Inoo nodded and could not hold back his tears, it flowed to his cheek.
His tears of happiness..
****
"Ryosuke!" Shida quickly ran and grabbed Yamada’s clothes when that doctor just out of surgery room.
"How is Ryota?! Tell me how is he?"
"Relax, he's stable, now.." Yamada stroked Shida’s arm. Then let go of her grip at his hand, gently.
"You can talk with Yuto, he is Ryota’s doctor, now ..."
"But .. Ryosuke, Ryota need you! Please stay with me, we all need you .. please, don’t go .." Yamada frozen in his place, he almost fainted from exhaustion. He really want his brain stops working right now. Why didn’t he just become crazy?
"Shida .. please .." Yamada kneeling before Shida as his hands grabbed her shoulders tightly.
"I'm not going to go, if it makes Ryota’s condition more worse. But please.. I can’t love you .." Shida almost seeing Yamada cried. She lost all her strength, the power to make Yamada still love her. Because she could see that clearly, this man loves someone else..
And the fact that Ryota didn’t like him love another person just enough to make him going into his most miserable.
****
His weak smile appeared on his face when he saw the man who he loved, sleeping on the dining table with papers strewn on his head. He smiled broadly when he realized Chinen clothes’s color, the colors are he really want to put on his boyfriend. Slowly he removed a pencil from Chinen’s strong grip hands. His hands took the paper from under Chinen’s head and his eyes widened surprises.
Butterfly.
Not a full of butterfly drawing just a simply painted a butterfly form.
Without color.
Only smooth pencil strokes. He just draw all the butterflies bones.
But that picture is so detailed which picturing a bare butterlies form. An skeleton, framework, design and plan..
This made him feel amazing. Indeed, his boyfriend is very clever.
“Yuri.. " Yamada kissed Chinen’s head.
-Slap!-
"AH!" with shock Yamada touching his cheek which just Chinen slap in his delirious. Is he really deserves to be slapped in the face, this day?
"You are so stubborn ... " Yamada picked Chinen up from the chair and carried him into bed room.
" I remember this parfume smell..."
"You already awake?"
"Last night you who took me to the hospital.." Yamada smiled and lowered his eyes to locked it with Chinen’s eyes which were open, now. That beautiful eyes always made him not want to get out of from his sight..
"Stupid .."
"Mmm?"
"Why did you save me, Ryosuke?" Yamada put his forehead at Chinen’s, their lips almost touching.
"I think you don’t want to die, I think you don’t want to leave me.. Yuri .."
"But I .. I can’t change the destiny.. can I?" his voice trembling when he can feel Yamada’s warm make his heart feel content.
{
But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love
And I miss use love
I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back
~silverchair- miss you love~
}
They stood there in the middle of the room. Yamada still carried Chinen’s body, and that young man had his arm circled around Yamada’s neck. Their lips touched each other..
Slowly he opened his mouth, beckoning his lover tongue to enter. Yamada without thinking lapped at the hot muscle inside. This is different from they usual kiss, this not rough or too excited. But full of emotion and sincerity as they sealing their feeling to each other.
Yamada can feel Chinen’s feeling right now, through this kiss. All..
His sad ..
His confused ..
His suffer ..
Made him hurt and he was not expected his tears will flowed..
"Ryosuke, please.. don’t .." Yamada closed his eyes when he felt Chinen’s tongue licking his tears.
"Yuri .."
"I don’t know.. how I'm supposed to love you back? I don’t know .. When my time will over.. I don’t know .." Chinen put his head under Yamada’s chin and gently kissed his throat.
“Just, love me back.. ”
“Mmm..” chinen sniffed Yamada's body scent and smiled.
"I will..
I will.."
And they kissed again..
I will miss you love..
****
To Be Continue
Fyuuh.. wiped my sweat ^^
Jaa~