(no subject)
I was very excited yesterday to receive the entire series of Six Feet Under in the mail, which I ordered from Amazon.com for about $100 (too great a deal to pass up, given the show normally sells for somewhere in the $225 - $250 range).
Ordinarily, I'm a little obsessive about watching shows in order, but given that I've already seen the entire series (in order the first go-around,) I decided to skip to the last episode, which is incredibly moving, as it uses one of the character's driving away from home and the song "Breathe Me" by Sia (one of the most beautiful, moving songs I know) as a backdrop to project into the future to see the fates of the main characters from the series.
gloebug and I often joke about the final montage, and how it manages to elicit tearing up, if not outright crying. In part, I suppose, this is because the character development in the show is so phenomenal that you do, by the end of the show, feel like you know the characters. But mostly, I think, it is because it reminds us of the mortality of our family, our friends, and ourselves. The show makes us think about death, and while it is fiction, it still brings it down to a level that is personal, not an abstraction as is often the case when hearing about something on the news or glancing the obituaries.
My greatest fear in life is losing my family. Full stop. I dread the day when I get The Call, or sit by the hospital bed and wait. I can't imagine the pain that one goes through in that situation. While I'm quite happy living, I sometimes hope that I go first so I won't have to deal with it. But maybe that's selfish.
As for when I go, I want to be cremated. I don't like the idea of staying in one place forever, and I don't see the point in taking up space when I don't need to. I'm a big guy, I take up plenty of space living, and my mom always told me to share. Truthfully though, I'm much more attached to the idea of having my ashes scattered into a river (the Little River, which feeds into the New, which turns into the Kanawha, which feeds into the Ohio, then the Mississippi, then the Gulf of Mexico and ultimately into the Atlantic) or out of a plane (back to the earth from whence I came) or as part of a scavenger hunt.
This has always been my wacky idea, although I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to pull off. I might not care, and try and set it up anyway. This is it: I want kids someday. Not sure when, not sure how, certainly not at that point in my life yet. Imagining how difficult it must be to lose a parent (see above paragraphs), I'm of the belief that seeing the places that were important to me might be a way for my hypothetical children to better understand what made me tick, what made me happy, and what experiences helped me to grow. So why not leave some money and send the kids to those places. Let's say that time and money are not constrained. I would send them to:
-Cornbread Road: The old family homestead. This is where I "grew up," and this will always be Home with a capital "H." I don't know that I'm going to back there to live anytime soon, if ever, but some of my most cherished memories are there. Fried bologna on the basement wood stove at my grandparents' cabin when the power would go out. My grandfather cooking gravy in the mornings. Passing my grandmother gardening when driving out from home. Sledding under the billboard at the fork in the road where Cornbread split off from Bain's Chapel, right next to the interstate. Breakfast after opening Christmas presents. Living under the veil of youth.
-Charles Village: The first place I ever lived on my own. Finding a community, finding myself, finding my way into the world. This is where I fell in love with cities, and where some of my most enduring friendships were made. Where I was on 9/11, the definitive geopolitical event of our generation. My favorite place to be in the springtime, when the trees are in bloom. On campus, I remember the smell of library stacks distinctly; I associate that smell too strongly with the smell of a May dawn. I remember hopping across the rocks in Stony Creek, my_sihaya choosing a route that would most likely result in my falling in. Nights at Paper Moon. Nights in the library. I liked nights at Paper Moon better.
-Glacier Park, Montana: Probably my favorite place to visit in the entire country. A magical world away from home, the trips I took there always will remind me of my maternal grandparents, two of the most important people in my life.
-South Africa: Sometimes it seemed so different, sometimes it seemed so similar to home. I grew as a person tremendously here, and learned to think of my own home in a different light. It's also a gorgeous, fascinating place.
-The Amazon: The farthest I've ever been away from Everything. It's important to understand how different life can be.
-New York: I haven't written this bit yet, but I think this is where I'm beginning the rest of my life upon graduation. So much of my story is yet to be written, but a lot of it will be written here. I'm excited and terrified at how it's going to read, particularly being in such a volatile place in our country's history, both good and bad. I have some stuff I want to work on to be a happier person, and this is where so much of that is going to happen. In particular, I love the Brooklyn Heights promenade; symbolically so near and far from "everything." And the view is gorgeous.
There are other places I would add, and there are others I know I will want to add in the future.
What places would you put on your kids' memorial scavenger hunt?
Ordinarily, I'm a little obsessive about watching shows in order, but given that I've already seen the entire series (in order the first go-around,) I decided to skip to the last episode, which is incredibly moving, as it uses one of the character's driving away from home and the song "Breathe Me" by Sia (one of the most beautiful, moving songs I know) as a backdrop to project into the future to see the fates of the main characters from the series.
gloebug and I often joke about the final montage, and how it manages to elicit tearing up, if not outright crying. In part, I suppose, this is because the character development in the show is so phenomenal that you do, by the end of the show, feel like you know the characters. But mostly, I think, it is because it reminds us of the mortality of our family, our friends, and ourselves. The show makes us think about death, and while it is fiction, it still brings it down to a level that is personal, not an abstraction as is often the case when hearing about something on the news or glancing the obituaries.
My greatest fear in life is losing my family. Full stop. I dread the day when I get The Call, or sit by the hospital bed and wait. I can't imagine the pain that one goes through in that situation. While I'm quite happy living, I sometimes hope that I go first so I won't have to deal with it. But maybe that's selfish.
As for when I go, I want to be cremated. I don't like the idea of staying in one place forever, and I don't see the point in taking up space when I don't need to. I'm a big guy, I take up plenty of space living, and my mom always told me to share. Truthfully though, I'm much more attached to the idea of having my ashes scattered into a river (the Little River, which feeds into the New, which turns into the Kanawha, which feeds into the Ohio, then the Mississippi, then the Gulf of Mexico and ultimately into the Atlantic) or out of a plane (back to the earth from whence I came) or as part of a scavenger hunt.
This has always been my wacky idea, although I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to pull off. I might not care, and try and set it up anyway. This is it: I want kids someday. Not sure when, not sure how, certainly not at that point in my life yet. Imagining how difficult it must be to lose a parent (see above paragraphs), I'm of the belief that seeing the places that were important to me might be a way for my hypothetical children to better understand what made me tick, what made me happy, and what experiences helped me to grow. So why not leave some money and send the kids to those places. Let's say that time and money are not constrained. I would send them to:
-Cornbread Road: The old family homestead. This is where I "grew up," and this will always be Home with a capital "H." I don't know that I'm going to back there to live anytime soon, if ever, but some of my most cherished memories are there. Fried bologna on the basement wood stove at my grandparents' cabin when the power would go out. My grandfather cooking gravy in the mornings. Passing my grandmother gardening when driving out from home. Sledding under the billboard at the fork in the road where Cornbread split off from Bain's Chapel, right next to the interstate. Breakfast after opening Christmas presents. Living under the veil of youth.
-Charles Village: The first place I ever lived on my own. Finding a community, finding myself, finding my way into the world. This is where I fell in love with cities, and where some of my most enduring friendships were made. Where I was on 9/11, the definitive geopolitical event of our generation. My favorite place to be in the springtime, when the trees are in bloom. On campus, I remember the smell of library stacks distinctly; I associate that smell too strongly with the smell of a May dawn. I remember hopping across the rocks in Stony Creek, my_sihaya choosing a route that would most likely result in my falling in. Nights at Paper Moon. Nights in the library. I liked nights at Paper Moon better.
-Glacier Park, Montana: Probably my favorite place to visit in the entire country. A magical world away from home, the trips I took there always will remind me of my maternal grandparents, two of the most important people in my life.
-South Africa: Sometimes it seemed so different, sometimes it seemed so similar to home. I grew as a person tremendously here, and learned to think of my own home in a different light. It's also a gorgeous, fascinating place.
-The Amazon: The farthest I've ever been away from Everything. It's important to understand how different life can be.
-New York: I haven't written this bit yet, but I think this is where I'm beginning the rest of my life upon graduation. So much of my story is yet to be written, but a lot of it will be written here. I'm excited and terrified at how it's going to read, particularly being in such a volatile place in our country's history, both good and bad. I have some stuff I want to work on to be a happier person, and this is where so much of that is going to happen. In particular, I love the Brooklyn Heights promenade; symbolically so near and far from "everything." And the view is gorgeous.
There are other places I would add, and there are others I know I will want to add in the future.
What places would you put on your kids' memorial scavenger hunt?