yup yup yup
i enjoy getting off of work and getting a beer with my co-workers. the only thing that sucks is when my manager shows up and i can't have anything anoymore due to the fact that he would say something...so yeah.
i decided to stay at applebees for a while. partially cause i started making a lot more in tips...and cause i don't like to quit anything if it's too hard and what not.
in 8 hours i need to be on my way to work. but i don't feel like going to sleep but i know i should...seeing how i have 2 shifts ahead of me.
i love all the people i work with. it feels really good to be invited to do stuff instead of being back up or not invited at all. also, being at work most of my time is good...better than just roaming the mall or staying at home with nothing to do. plus money isn't bad.
i'm once again trying to be hooked up with someone by a co-worker. i think i'm hiding behind stupid reasons...like me moving or not being in a position to be a good bf...cause i still can't realy trust anyone. it's much easier to just flirt and play around with someone than really trust them or let yourself open up. though doing so is bad...people(including yourself) get attatched and do end up onpening up to someone...then when you don't follow through(like asking them out or whatnot) they feel like you never had any feelings for them in the first place...which may or may not be true...bah...
another thing...i don't know why i walk home past 1 AM when people offered me a ride...it's like i'm punishing myself for something but i don't know what...why can't i just except people's help or open up to someone? why do i always have to be the nice guy and put my best effort out when i can easily just slip by like everyone else? why can't i just show emotion instead of holding everything inside? why do i do this to myself? why do i shut myself out from everyone? bah...i need to stop...cause i'm not looking for people to feel bad for me or for advice...i just needed to put thoughts and feelings out there...maybe it's the captain morgan's aiding me in actually saying something rather than just talking about work and acting like everything is ok when it's not...but hey i do it all the time and no one is the wiser...so HA to you!
i decided to stay at applebees for a while. partially cause i started making a lot more in tips...and cause i don't like to quit anything if it's too hard and what not.
in 8 hours i need to be on my way to work. but i don't feel like going to sleep but i know i should...seeing how i have 2 shifts ahead of me.
i love all the people i work with. it feels really good to be invited to do stuff instead of being back up or not invited at all. also, being at work most of my time is good...better than just roaming the mall or staying at home with nothing to do. plus money isn't bad.
i'm once again trying to be hooked up with someone by a co-worker. i think i'm hiding behind stupid reasons...like me moving or not being in a position to be a good bf...cause i still can't realy trust anyone. it's much easier to just flirt and play around with someone than really trust them or let yourself open up. though doing so is bad...people(including yourself) get attatched and do end up onpening up to someone...then when you don't follow through(like asking them out or whatnot) they feel like you never had any feelings for them in the first place...which may or may not be true...bah...
another thing...i don't know why i walk home past 1 AM when people offered me a ride...it's like i'm punishing myself for something but i don't know what...why can't i just except people's help or open up to someone? why do i always have to be the nice guy and put my best effort out when i can easily just slip by like everyone else? why can't i just show emotion instead of holding everything inside? why do i do this to myself? why do i shut myself out from everyone? bah...i need to stop...cause i'm not looking for people to feel bad for me or for advice...i just needed to put thoughts and feelings out there...maybe it's the captain morgan's aiding me in actually saying something rather than just talking about work and acting like everything is ok when it's not...but hey i do it all the time and no one is the wiser...so HA to you!