We Got Movie Sign!
And now, because I know you all love these so much, here is my Two-Minute Review of The Water Horse.
There are two main plots to The Water Horse. In the "A" plot, a young Scottish boy named Angus finds an egg which hatches into the Loch Ness Monster. Angus misses his father who went off to war a few years earlier. In the "B" plot, a regiment of soldiers is sent to erect Howitzers to defend the loch from German U-Boats. (This takes place during WWII, if you hadn't figured that out yet.) Now I'm not an expert on Scottish geography, and I'm too tired to Wikipedia it, but I'm pretty sure that Loch Ness is, in fact, a lake (or loch), and thus is not accessible by U-Boat. But I digress...
This movie is a children's movie through-and-through. From the clear-cut divisions between good and bad, to the broad physical humor of CGI animals falling down stairs, to the fart- and haggis-related jokes, it is very obvious that you're watching a children's movie. Angus misses his father. This children's-movie mentality often makes for unintentionally funny sequences, such as every single shot of one soldier who is described as a "hunter" and likes to kill animals, and always glares at Angus like he's about to shoot Nessy (or "Crusoe" as he is called in the movie) at the drop of a hat.
And, like any good children's movie, it opens with an actually sort-of-scary scene of the main character almost drowning. Just what I want my kids to see. Also, the movie teaches the very valuable lesson to children that you can tame a wild animal that's trying to bite you with a few slices of potato, after which it will love you forever.
The CGI in the first part of the film is quite well done, and there are several times where it is easy to mistake the small Crusoe for a real animal. Angus misses his father. However, the one scene where the CG really ought to shine instead fizzles, as the shots of Angus riding on the back of a now-grown-large Crusoe are some of the most awkward-looking blue screening I've ever seen.
If you hadn't noticed by now, Angus misses his father very much, and if you think I've been blatantly and awkwardly inserting things to that effect, believe me, the movie is even more blatant and obvious.
All that said, as a simple children's morality movie with a heart-warming boy-befriends-wild-animal plot, The Water Horse isn't too bad. And it probably ought to be at least nominated for Best Sound Design, or something, because I don't think I've ever heard sound used so effectively in a movie before. I doubt anyone reading this review will be terribly interested in this movie, but if I had kids, this would make decent Christmas fare.
Final Grade: B+
There are two main plots to The Water Horse. In the "A" plot, a young Scottish boy named Angus finds an egg which hatches into the Loch Ness Monster. Angus misses his father who went off to war a few years earlier. In the "B" plot, a regiment of soldiers is sent to erect Howitzers to defend the loch from German U-Boats. (This takes place during WWII, if you hadn't figured that out yet.) Now I'm not an expert on Scottish geography, and I'm too tired to Wikipedia it, but I'm pretty sure that Loch Ness is, in fact, a lake (or loch), and thus is not accessible by U-Boat. But I digress...
This movie is a children's movie through-and-through. From the clear-cut divisions between good and bad, to the broad physical humor of CGI animals falling down stairs, to the fart- and haggis-related jokes, it is very obvious that you're watching a children's movie. Angus misses his father. This children's-movie mentality often makes for unintentionally funny sequences, such as every single shot of one soldier who is described as a "hunter" and likes to kill animals, and always glares at Angus like he's about to shoot Nessy (or "Crusoe" as he is called in the movie) at the drop of a hat.
And, like any good children's movie, it opens with an actually sort-of-scary scene of the main character almost drowning. Just what I want my kids to see. Also, the movie teaches the very valuable lesson to children that you can tame a wild animal that's trying to bite you with a few slices of potato, after which it will love you forever.
The CGI in the first part of the film is quite well done, and there are several times where it is easy to mistake the small Crusoe for a real animal. Angus misses his father. However, the one scene where the CG really ought to shine instead fizzles, as the shots of Angus riding on the back of a now-grown-large Crusoe are some of the most awkward-looking blue screening I've ever seen.
If you hadn't noticed by now, Angus misses his father very much, and if you think I've been blatantly and awkwardly inserting things to that effect, believe me, the movie is even more blatant and obvious.
All that said, as a simple children's morality movie with a heart-warming boy-befriends-wild-animal plot, The Water Horse isn't too bad. And it probably ought to be at least nominated for Best Sound Design, or something, because I don't think I've ever heard sound used so effectively in a movie before. I doubt anyone reading this review will be terribly interested in this movie, but if I had kids, this would make decent Christmas fare.
Final Grade: B+