Holy Freakin' Hell.....he wrote something???!!!!
Okay, okay, okay. I know it's been a long time since I last updated this here thing. But just when you think you could forget about me and write me off.......like a bad penny I keep turning up. Actually, a penny is kinda cheap, I'm more like a bad 1000 dollar bill. But....if I had a 1000 dollar bill, it wouldn't be so bad would it?? Hmm...I guess I'm more like a bad check then. Yeah, that's it.......I'm a bad check.
Anyway, my dear dear Amber dear insisted that I start to update this thing. And since she's cute, how could I say no??? I just can't!!!! But for right now, I'm just gonna copy and paste a couple of my posts from my myspace page. That's just until I actually do a new blog, then it will be something fresh. But trust me, if you ever in a bad mood, just check out some of the links I give you, and I promise you'll giggle at least once. And you can amuse yourself by playing my "guessing game". The first thing in quotes is always a quote from a movie(usually something I'm watching at the time or just watched recently) and the quotes below my name are always lyrics from a song. While there is no prize for guessing right(I'm not Bill Gates or anything), if you recognize it, you move up a step on my "cool ladder", and that's the greatest gift of all.
(are you happy now Amber dear?? You finally convinced me to update this thing. So there... :P
Here are all the myspace post I did for June. Wow, I really need to post more often huh?? But wait......I'm all about quality, not quantity!!! Yeah, that's the story I'm sticking to. Anyway, enjoy, and let me know what you think!! Oh, one last thing. I TRY to make my post safe for work and kids. But occasionaly I might let a cuss word slip here and there. And while I would never link to a porn site, some pages i link to might have those "adultfriendfinder" ad's on it that so many pages seem to have. But I try my very best to avoid any porn links, pop ups, etc.
6/21/06
"Ahh, you know. Ups and downs, strikes and gutters."
Well it's time for another bunch of posts. I know, I know....it's been a bit since I last did this. But I was busy....so FUCK OFF!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It won't happen again. I promise, this time things will be different. Just give me one more chance baby. Wait, who's sock is this? This isn't my sock!! HE was over here again wasn't he? You WHORE!! I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that. Here, let me buy you an ice cream.
Ok, that was freaking me out. Ya know, I was thinking the other day about things I haven't seen in a long time. Things I'm used to seeing like once a year. For instance:
About once a year, you hear about some amazing "coupon lady" who, through sheer will, sharp scissors, and lots of newpapers, saves her family like thousands a year in discounts. And then she gets a book deal and there's this nationwide craze about using coupons that lasts......oh about 7 weeks. Where is that lady lately??
Or how about the Wonder Dog/Toddler that somehow saves his family by calling 911 or waking someone up by barking? Where are they lately?? Or the siamese twins getting married to regular twins??
Screw it....on to the links.......
Okay, if you at least haven't HEARD of "Lazy Sunday"(one of the best SNL short sketches EVER) then you won't even get this rip off of it. Actually, it's not too bad in it's own right. I like Bob Sagat, but I'm not a Jamie Kennedy fan.
Rolling with Bob Sagat
Okay, do yourself a favor. Click on the link below. Then click on the button that says "Next" 1(wow), 2(dude....give up the fight), 3(my dad would beat my ass), 4(HOLY FRICKIN CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Gallery of Hair Tragedy
Side by side lists of "The 50 Gayest Things of All Time" and "The 50 Things That Most Make You Feel Like A Man"!! Some of my favorites from the first list include "White Zinfandel", " Using a Lint Roller", and " Picture Frames With Words on Them". My fav from the other list......." Pissing Out a Fire". Check 'em all out.
50 gayest/50 manliest things
I like this guy. He writes down what makes him angry. I like his rants about The Learning Channel, Stories About Your Cat, and False Nudity Advisories.
Things that make him ANGRY!!!
You know....next time I'm drunk I'll have to try some of these. Which will be very soon.
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk.
You know....this just makes sense. Quick!! I need a cat and some toast!!
Anti Gravity Expierement.
If you work in an office, you're probably seen some office pranks go on. Heck, you might have even pulled one or had one pulled on you. But these....these are perhaps some of the best office pranks EVER!!
Man...I wish I worked in an office.
Okay, I'll end this blog with some "happy feel good make you smile" crap. Gotta admit, some of these animals are kinda cute. These are the kind that inspire those lame ass inspirational posters you see in your high school guidence counselors office.
Some cute ass animals
Well, the sandman is trying to kick my ass. I'm gonna fight him, but that will probably tire me out. So, let me know if you liked my blog. I'm always wondering.
Rock
"Tears from the sky
In pools of pain
Well baby tonite, i'm gonna go & dance in the rain"
6/8/06
"I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there."
Well folks, it's that time again. Time for me to "wow" your mind "pizazz" your soul!!!
Okay.......it's not all that. It's just links to really cool shit!!
OH WAIT!!! Gotta tell you this story. Those of you around my age may remember a tv comedy show called "Benson". It starred that really cool black dude who's name I can't remember. And he was like the top aide to the president or the govenor or something. Anyway, it was on TVLand the other day and I happen to catch it(ie: too lazy to change the channel). So in this episode we learn that while Benson was serving in the armed forces in Korea, the US governent might have conducted some sort of biochemical weapons test on US soilders, including Benson's platoon. Now, I don't know if you're like me, but I usually prefer my tv comedies to be a WHOLE lot more on the funny side. As opposed to the "The Evil Government" direction they chose to take. I'll just stick to the "comedy comedies" myself. Oh Blossom, where are you we the world needs you???
Okay, if you've never seen Over The Top with Sly Stolone.....just kick your ass for me right now! It's got arm wrestling, and truck driving, and "machismo"!! But as much of a classic as that movie is (the guy fucking arm wrestles for the custody of his damn kid!!!), I do believe this sequel has the potential to top it!!
...throw some Kenny Loggins at that....
Ooooooh.....how I DO LOVE me some Calvin and Hobbes
Classic Funny!!
I've linked to Maddox once before(remember...he could draw better than your kids), and now he explains, in an EXCELLENT piece, just why and how parents should be beating their kids!!
My favorite is "The one-two shut-the-hell-up"
I bet this lady is hating that someone else figure out to use THEIR camera.
Hey lady....how'd that pic turn out??
I don't know about you, but I hate when I'm stalked. But now, thanks to this site, I never again have to worry about being stocked by God, Satan, or even David Letterman.
Paranormial Restraining Orders
Ok, this is the last one for the night. For somereason I got really tired all of a sudden. But I did save the best for last. Ya' know.....I've never been all that "fashion hip" or anything. Oh, I have a little style and usually look damn good(it's all for you ladies!), but one area I would say I have little knowledge of is wedding dresses. But even so......
Lady...what the FUCK were you thinking??
Okay my friends, I am outta here. Oh..have you seen the new Ipod commercial? It's got my boys from Wolfmother playing. That song kicks ass!!! The band is awesome, one review was something like ".....if Ozzy, Led Zepplin, and The White Stripes traveled through the desert while tripping and then had a baby!" You get the picture(ewwwwwww), but they seriously do ROCK!!!
Rock
"Lost my shape-trying to act casual!
Cant stop-i might end up in the hospital
Im changing my shape-i feel like an accident
Theyre back!-to explain their experience"
6/2/06
"Look kids...Big Ben. Parliment."
Okay, so the other night I'm wasted and watching Cartoon Network(not an unusual thing for me, either of them) and the MR. T. cartoon came one. For those who don't remember, it was basically MR. T. running around with 3-4 gymnastic teens and a dog solving mysteries and helping people. How MR. T. ever got to be in custody of these teens is a mystery to me. I'm pretty sure he killed their parents and just took them. That's just how T rolls!! Anyway, the gang comes upon this guy dressed all in black with a black hood over his face, doing all kinds of flips, with a sword strapped to his back, who vanishes suddenly. What do you think I just described? That's right....a ninja. Pretty easy to figure that out right? I mean, ninjas' have looked the same since I was like 5. Sure, they need a new fashion advisor, but everyone knows what they look like. Well, not our T-Gang. No, they were in complete puzzlement untl the asian member of the group spoke up and informed them that it was a ninja. In case you didn't catch that.......the ASIAN member was the one who had to recognize it was a ninja. Hell, even MR. T. didn't know, so it was a good thing that he had a 15 year old asian girl in his gang. That's about the same thing as the group being perplexed by some big oval thing with green and white stripes that when you split it open, is all red with seeds inside. Then having the black member of the group going "Oh that.....that's watermelon. Say it with me....Wa..ter...mel...on! That's the fruit of my people." Have the asian person identify the ninja. That only leaves one conclusion.....the MR. T. cartoon is secretly written by the KKK!!! You read it here first people!!
Okay, on to a few links:
If you surf the sites I do, you're heard of Maddox. He's got a wicked sense of humor and and draw better than your kids!
Your kids' drawing sucks!!
While I don't care about politics, I can appreciate something making fun of Dick Cheney. Watch out for his Grip Of Death!!!
There are many ways Dick Cheney can kill you.
Okay, I thought about NOT doing this...but what the hell. First off, I'm not a pretty guy. I'm charming, but not pretty. And I would never make fun of someone with the intention of hurting their feelings, rather I belive when a funny situation occurs, it should be celebrated. And secondly, even though some might say I'm making fun of these girls, I totally think most of them are quite cute!!! Ok, with that said......
I don't know what those girls are standing on, but it's the strongest thing in the entire damn world!!!!!
On a side not, these ladies were celebrating "No Pants Day", which is a holiday I think we all should start supporting!! Even though, from what I can tell, it's a canadian thing.
Those crazy canucks!!
If you watch Family guy, you get this:
Blaccuweather report.
Okay, I know that's only a few links, but I'm dead tired and need to catch some z'sssssszzzzz. So you hang tight, and I'll throw some more stuff at you in a 3-4 days. I promise!
Rock
"When that change starts to swing, keep in mind one thing
Don't forget me dear
Because my love is true, give my best to you
Don't forget me dear"
Anyway, my dear dear Amber dear insisted that I start to update this thing. And since she's cute, how could I say no??? I just can't!!!! But for right now, I'm just gonna copy and paste a couple of my posts from my myspace page. That's just until I actually do a new blog, then it will be something fresh. But trust me, if you ever in a bad mood, just check out some of the links I give you, and I promise you'll giggle at least once. And you can amuse yourself by playing my "guessing game". The first thing in quotes is always a quote from a movie(usually something I'm watching at the time or just watched recently) and the quotes below my name are always lyrics from a song. While there is no prize for guessing right(I'm not Bill Gates or anything), if you recognize it, you move up a step on my "cool ladder", and that's the greatest gift of all.
(are you happy now Amber dear?? You finally convinced me to update this thing. So there... :P
Here are all the myspace post I did for June. Wow, I really need to post more often huh?? But wait......I'm all about quality, not quantity!!! Yeah, that's the story I'm sticking to. Anyway, enjoy, and let me know what you think!! Oh, one last thing. I TRY to make my post safe for work and kids. But occasionaly I might let a cuss word slip here and there. And while I would never link to a porn site, some pages i link to might have those "adultfriendfinder" ad's on it that so many pages seem to have. But I try my very best to avoid any porn links, pop ups, etc.
6/21/06
"Ahh, you know. Ups and downs, strikes and gutters."
Well it's time for another bunch of posts. I know, I know....it's been a bit since I last did this. But I was busy....so FUCK OFF!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It won't happen again. I promise, this time things will be different. Just give me one more chance baby. Wait, who's sock is this? This isn't my sock!! HE was over here again wasn't he? You WHORE!! I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that. Here, let me buy you an ice cream.
Ok, that was freaking me out. Ya know, I was thinking the other day about things I haven't seen in a long time. Things I'm used to seeing like once a year. For instance:
About once a year, you hear about some amazing "coupon lady" who, through sheer will, sharp scissors, and lots of newpapers, saves her family like thousands a year in discounts. And then she gets a book deal and there's this nationwide craze about using coupons that lasts......oh about 7 weeks. Where is that lady lately??
Or how about the Wonder Dog/Toddler that somehow saves his family by calling 911 or waking someone up by barking? Where are they lately?? Or the siamese twins getting married to regular twins??
Screw it....on to the links.......
Okay, if you at least haven't HEARD of "Lazy Sunday"(one of the best SNL short sketches EVER) then you won't even get this rip off of it. Actually, it's not too bad in it's own right. I like Bob Sagat, but I'm not a Jamie Kennedy fan.
Rolling with Bob Sagat
Okay, do yourself a favor. Click on the link below. Then click on the button that says "Next" 1(wow), 2(dude....give up the fight), 3(my dad would beat my ass), 4(HOLY FRICKIN CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Gallery of Hair Tragedy
Side by side lists of "The 50 Gayest Things of All Time" and "The 50 Things That Most Make You Feel Like A Man"!! Some of my favorites from the first list include "White Zinfandel", " Using a Lint Roller", and " Picture Frames With Words on Them". My fav from the other list......." Pissing Out a Fire". Check 'em all out.
50 gayest/50 manliest things
I like this guy. He writes down what makes him angry. I like his rants about The Learning Channel, Stories About Your Cat, and False Nudity Advisories.
Things that make him ANGRY!!!
You know....next time I'm drunk I'll have to try some of these. Which will be very soon.
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk.
You know....this just makes sense. Quick!! I need a cat and some toast!!
Anti Gravity Expierement.
If you work in an office, you're probably seen some office pranks go on. Heck, you might have even pulled one or had one pulled on you. But these....these are perhaps some of the best office pranks EVER!!
Man...I wish I worked in an office.
Okay, I'll end this blog with some "happy feel good make you smile" crap. Gotta admit, some of these animals are kinda cute. These are the kind that inspire those lame ass inspirational posters you see in your high school guidence counselors office.
Some cute ass animals
Well, the sandman is trying to kick my ass. I'm gonna fight him, but that will probably tire me out. So, let me know if you liked my blog. I'm always wondering.
Rock
"Tears from the sky
In pools of pain
Well baby tonite, i'm gonna go & dance in the rain"
6/8/06
"I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there."
Well folks, it's that time again. Time for me to "wow" your mind "pizazz" your soul!!!
Okay.......it's not all that. It's just links to really cool shit!!
OH WAIT!!! Gotta tell you this story. Those of you around my age may remember a tv comedy show called "Benson". It starred that really cool black dude who's name I can't remember. And he was like the top aide to the president or the govenor or something. Anyway, it was on TVLand the other day and I happen to catch it(ie: too lazy to change the channel). So in this episode we learn that while Benson was serving in the armed forces in Korea, the US governent might have conducted some sort of biochemical weapons test on US soilders, including Benson's platoon. Now, I don't know if you're like me, but I usually prefer my tv comedies to be a WHOLE lot more on the funny side. As opposed to the "The Evil Government" direction they chose to take. I'll just stick to the "comedy comedies" myself. Oh Blossom, where are you we the world needs you???
Okay, if you've never seen Over The Top with Sly Stolone.....just kick your ass for me right now! It's got arm wrestling, and truck driving, and "machismo"!! But as much of a classic as that movie is (the guy fucking arm wrestles for the custody of his damn kid!!!), I do believe this sequel has the potential to top it!!
...throw some Kenny Loggins at that....
Ooooooh.....how I DO LOVE me some Calvin and Hobbes
Classic Funny!!
I've linked to Maddox once before(remember...he could draw better than your kids), and now he explains, in an EXCELLENT piece, just why and how parents should be beating their kids!!
My favorite is "The one-two shut-the-hell-up"
I bet this lady is hating that someone else figure out to use THEIR camera.
Hey lady....how'd that pic turn out??
I don't know about you, but I hate when I'm stalked. But now, thanks to this site, I never again have to worry about being stocked by God, Satan, or even David Letterman.
Paranormial Restraining Orders
Ok, this is the last one for the night. For somereason I got really tired all of a sudden. But I did save the best for last. Ya' know.....I've never been all that "fashion hip" or anything. Oh, I have a little style and usually look damn good(it's all for you ladies!), but one area I would say I have little knowledge of is wedding dresses. But even so......
Lady...what the FUCK were you thinking??
Okay my friends, I am outta here. Oh..have you seen the new Ipod commercial? It's got my boys from Wolfmother playing. That song kicks ass!!! The band is awesome, one review was something like ".....if Ozzy, Led Zepplin, and The White Stripes traveled through the desert while tripping and then had a baby!" You get the picture(ewwwwwww), but they seriously do ROCK!!!
Rock
"Lost my shape-trying to act casual!
Cant stop-i might end up in the hospital
Im changing my shape-i feel like an accident
Theyre back!-to explain their experience"
6/2/06
"Look kids...Big Ben. Parliment."
Okay, so the other night I'm wasted and watching Cartoon Network(not an unusual thing for me, either of them) and the MR. T. cartoon came one. For those who don't remember, it was basically MR. T. running around with 3-4 gymnastic teens and a dog solving mysteries and helping people. How MR. T. ever got to be in custody of these teens is a mystery to me. I'm pretty sure he killed their parents and just took them. That's just how T rolls!! Anyway, the gang comes upon this guy dressed all in black with a black hood over his face, doing all kinds of flips, with a sword strapped to his back, who vanishes suddenly. What do you think I just described? That's right....a ninja. Pretty easy to figure that out right? I mean, ninjas' have looked the same since I was like 5. Sure, they need a new fashion advisor, but everyone knows what they look like. Well, not our T-Gang. No, they were in complete puzzlement untl the asian member of the group spoke up and informed them that it was a ninja. In case you didn't catch that.......the ASIAN member was the one who had to recognize it was a ninja. Hell, even MR. T. didn't know, so it was a good thing that he had a 15 year old asian girl in his gang. That's about the same thing as the group being perplexed by some big oval thing with green and white stripes that when you split it open, is all red with seeds inside. Then having the black member of the group going "Oh that.....that's watermelon. Say it with me....Wa..ter...mel...on! That's the fruit of my people." Have the asian person identify the ninja. That only leaves one conclusion.....the MR. T. cartoon is secretly written by the KKK!!! You read it here first people!!
Okay, on to a few links:
If you surf the sites I do, you're heard of Maddox. He's got a wicked sense of humor and and draw better than your kids!
Your kids' drawing sucks!!
While I don't care about politics, I can appreciate something making fun of Dick Cheney. Watch out for his Grip Of Death!!!
There are many ways Dick Cheney can kill you.
Okay, I thought about NOT doing this...but what the hell. First off, I'm not a pretty guy. I'm charming, but not pretty. And I would never make fun of someone with the intention of hurting their feelings, rather I belive when a funny situation occurs, it should be celebrated. And secondly, even though some might say I'm making fun of these girls, I totally think most of them are quite cute!!! Ok, with that said......
I don't know what those girls are standing on, but it's the strongest thing in the entire damn world!!!!!
On a side not, these ladies were celebrating "No Pants Day", which is a holiday I think we all should start supporting!! Even though, from what I can tell, it's a canadian thing.
Those crazy canucks!!
If you watch Family guy, you get this:
Blaccuweather report.
Okay, I know that's only a few links, but I'm dead tired and need to catch some z'sssssszzzzz. So you hang tight, and I'll throw some more stuff at you in a 3-4 days. I promise!
Rock
"When that change starts to swing, keep in mind one thing
Don't forget me dear
Because my love is true, give my best to you
Don't forget me dear"