LJ feels empty tonight
For those of you who grew up in this town and haven't been home in awhile the super Walmart on 31 is almost built and ready for consumers. So when you come home the old Walmart will be an empty lot and 31 will be the worst drive of your life. This has had terrible repercussions in my neighborhood already. All the wild life in the area has been moving out of the forest. Since the construction I have woken up multiple times to skunks just sitting in my front yard and those little bastards are not afraid of humans in the least bit. The worst of it all is the deer now wander into the street more than ever. Just the other night me and some friends saw some sonuvabitch right in front of us hit a deer. The damn thing rolled over the top of his car and just got up and went on with his day. I found that part particularly hilarious for some reason but found I was the only one in my company that did. I walked outside tonight to find two of them a buck and a fawn just walking down my street. I watched them till they had reached the top of my hill and I could no longer see them. The heavy steeps of deer searching for food back in the forest have felt more like the sound of something lost unsure of where it is and how it came to this. I find this to be somewhat fitting to all be happening at this exact moment in my life and the perfect metaphor for this monster we have made of capitalism. Everything I have been doing in my life as of late has forced me to search for myself again and this may sound weird but its like I'm the same as they are. I also feel like someone has over night torn down my home the place i ate and slept at night on occasion if I had worked off enough energy during the day and poured enough substance into my head. I feel like I have new partners in my search for meaning in a corporate landscape where I have no concept of money or death. Where all I want is to be loved and in the end have a death worth anticipating not fearing. I am the deer and they are me.