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[riccer]

reading through my journal while waiting for music to download this evening, i came across an entry from last year about 'digging holes', in the context of constantly repeating the same mistakes over and over. i believe i may have dug another hole ... actually, revisited the same one

Comments

[jruske]

is the glass actually half full?

Of course it is. So why aren't you finishing your damn drink so we can get back to the bar for another?

I think you like attention, and you behave in a way that gets you attention. Some of it is very negative attention, and you need to start moving toward getting more positive feedback. I've always found you to be a great guy one on one, but your need to ham it up in social situations is a bit overboard.

Sometimes way overboard.

As for preparing for the worst and expecting the worst, I think that's a darn good plan. I meet too many folks always praying for a miracle and believing it'll happen because they deserve it. Screw that... current favorite lyric for the hopeful brigade: none will be saved It'd be nice if some folks caught a clue and realized this is the one big shot deal. Whent he big lottery got won a few weeks ago, who cashed in? A dude who was already a self-made millionaire. Not the poor schlep who comes into the convenience store everyday to buy some smokes with money he kept from his wife so she wouldn't spend it on food for their screaming kids.

On the other hand, when you're partying you try to give off such an air of sheer joy and carelessness. It falls flat when you become melancholy and depressed a few hours later. Instead of bouncing between extremes chart a course for the middle ground. Fun doesn't have to be an extreme; lasting enjoyment rarely comes from crazy and wild events. It comes from having a grasp on meaning and sounding out your own depths alongside the world around you.

And in those depths are always some dark places. And in those depths are always some places of unbelievable constitution and fortitude. The world around us is merely a pale reflection of these things.