They ate without me
Having lived in the Western portion of the US, I am always happy to see my siblings every chance I get, but more and more I'm realizing that I'm not seeing them at their choice! Sometimes I need to speak "baaaa baaaa" because I must be the family white sheep.
I have been in NYC for 9 days and this is common knowledge in my family, especially with my sister Trudy.
Yesterday Trudy, my mother and Jennifer (my niece Susan's daughter)went to lunch on Long Island and then went out to tour our old childhood haunt, Jones Beach. I know that Susan and my mother can't see eachother, but Susan was at the Bar Assoc. yearly seminars all day, all week. I had no itinerary at all. It would've been nice to have gone to that lunch.
Since staying with Susan, I have heard of many trips to the west side of the country, over the past 45 years, where me and my children and grandchildren were just "not on the itinerary."
There are invisible barriers that cannot be breached without communication. I know who I am, but I have no idea how others perceive me. But it's their perceptions, not mine. I am disappointed because I grew up with a father who was estranged from his side of the family and I mourned the aunts, uncles and cousins I never met. Gary Box of Bellmore NY died in the terrorist attack of 9-11. I never met him. I swore in my heart that the next generation would not be like that. Must've been only my perception, because it sure isn't working out.
Something my brother Todd told my niece Susan years ago resonates with me every time I feel the family chill: It's not you.
This summer I had very good times with Ted and his friends, and also with Tess and Bill. I was treated as a loved sister and an esteemed guest at the same time. When I get another place to live, I offer an open invitation to family members for visits. I will treat you as I have been treated.
Peace and love.
I have been in NYC for 9 days and this is common knowledge in my family, especially with my sister Trudy.
Yesterday Trudy, my mother and Jennifer (my niece Susan's daughter)went to lunch on Long Island and then went out to tour our old childhood haunt, Jones Beach. I know that Susan and my mother can't see eachother, but Susan was at the Bar Assoc. yearly seminars all day, all week. I had no itinerary at all. It would've been nice to have gone to that lunch.
Since staying with Susan, I have heard of many trips to the west side of the country, over the past 45 years, where me and my children and grandchildren were just "not on the itinerary."
There are invisible barriers that cannot be breached without communication. I know who I am, but I have no idea how others perceive me. But it's their perceptions, not mine. I am disappointed because I grew up with a father who was estranged from his side of the family and I mourned the aunts, uncles and cousins I never met. Gary Box of Bellmore NY died in the terrorist attack of 9-11. I never met him. I swore in my heart that the next generation would not be like that. Must've been only my perception, because it sure isn't working out.
Something my brother Todd told my niece Susan years ago resonates with me every time I feel the family chill: It's not you.
This summer I had very good times with Ted and his friends, and also with Tess and Bill. I was treated as a loved sister and an esteemed guest at the same time. When I get another place to live, I offer an open invitation to family members for visits. I will treat you as I have been treated.
Peace and love.