doctor, i have an emergency,
so this afternoon i was returning some charts to the ER. I love doing that, i dont really have a good reason for loving it except its a nice little walk to break up the day. Anyways, when i walk up the stairs this gorgeous doctor is waiting for me and he throws me against the wall and starts grinding into me as he kisses my neck.
wait wait wait. that was just in my head.
actually i did walk up some stairs and a gorgeous doctor was waiting for me, but not to sex me, instead to say hi and hold the door open for me. this man was fucking gorgeous. and as i walked down the halls to the ER i walked passed three other gorgeous men (not doctors though...well i dont think) who smiled at me, and one said hi. Then in the ER i almost got hit in the head by this crazy huge samoan lady with a pink sports bra on who was being escorted out by two more gorgeous security men, one of which said hello and smiled at me.
so this is my problem:
doctor was fucking fine. like he was so hot he really should not be wasting his time saving lives, he should be on grey's anatomy or something. but being a life saver makes him even more delicious. ugh. but the thing is, doctor man looks like a ken doll. i dont like boys who look like ken dolls. its just not attractive and ridiculously typical. but fuck. if he would have suggested we go into a waiting room, flip the curtain and fuck like animals, my clothes would have been off before he finished his sentence.
then the guys in the hall...totally fuckable, just not as much as the doctor. And the security gaurd...holy shit. i think i have a serious men in uniform fetish. security gaurds are hot. well..these two were. i would have taken them all at one time. ok not really, but please do sense my frustration with the hotness of the men.
but wait, the frustration is not the problem. instead, being ridiculously attractive to a blond guy plus several other men in maybe a 10-15 minute time span is the problem. If you know me well enough you know that rarely do i think people are attractive. I mean, i might admit that they are 'ok' but hardly ever do i fall magically in love with the idea of naked strangers. So im thinking that maybe i have kyle syndrome again. you know, when i hadnt had sex in 11 months and then BAM what-do-ya-know im not only stealing some freaks virginity, i'm also consenting to an official girlfriend title. EW.
(ok so not all of you have met creepy kyle, but just fyi, he was gross and ugly and had nothing going for him except his money and he used that to be a big prick and buy a raised white truck. wtf. why would i ever date someone like that!?!?!?!?! SEX!!!!! THats why. And really at he time, he didnt seem so bad because my mind was wrapped around the fact that he had a penis and i NEEDED A PENIS!)
so what if all of these guys are really ugly and gross and becuase i havent had sex in like 2months-ish, my loins are making my vision funny?
I dont want that, but really i see no hope in preventing it. I mean, well its not as if the hot doctor is goign to come knocking on my door and sweep me off my feet and onto his hips so i dont really have to prevent anything like that, but what if kyle syndrome really does strike again? I'm pretty sure JOe would tell me 'no, that guy is ugly and gross and has no personality and your not allowed to be naked with any more boys who own raised white trucks!'
but, give me a break, im not goign to listen. I mean for one i want sex and two, joe doesnt like any boys i talk to, so i wouldnt beleive him anyways (no offense joe, you know i love you/ you know thats true!)
i might just have to take my chances...and frankly, if im gonna screw someoen i should...well it would be the first time... and i hope it happens soon.
wait wait wait. that was just in my head.
actually i did walk up some stairs and a gorgeous doctor was waiting for me, but not to sex me, instead to say hi and hold the door open for me. this man was fucking gorgeous. and as i walked down the halls to the ER i walked passed three other gorgeous men (not doctors though...well i dont think) who smiled at me, and one said hi. Then in the ER i almost got hit in the head by this crazy huge samoan lady with a pink sports bra on who was being escorted out by two more gorgeous security men, one of which said hello and smiled at me.
so this is my problem:
doctor was fucking fine. like he was so hot he really should not be wasting his time saving lives, he should be on grey's anatomy or something. but being a life saver makes him even more delicious. ugh. but the thing is, doctor man looks like a ken doll. i dont like boys who look like ken dolls. its just not attractive and ridiculously typical. but fuck. if he would have suggested we go into a waiting room, flip the curtain and fuck like animals, my clothes would have been off before he finished his sentence.
then the guys in the hall...totally fuckable, just not as much as the doctor. And the security gaurd...holy shit. i think i have a serious men in uniform fetish. security gaurds are hot. well..these two were. i would have taken them all at one time. ok not really, but please do sense my frustration with the hotness of the men.
but wait, the frustration is not the problem. instead, being ridiculously attractive to a blond guy plus several other men in maybe a 10-15 minute time span is the problem. If you know me well enough you know that rarely do i think people are attractive. I mean, i might admit that they are 'ok' but hardly ever do i fall magically in love with the idea of naked strangers. So im thinking that maybe i have kyle syndrome again. you know, when i hadnt had sex in 11 months and then BAM what-do-ya-know im not only stealing some freaks virginity, i'm also consenting to an official girlfriend title. EW.
(ok so not all of you have met creepy kyle, but just fyi, he was gross and ugly and had nothing going for him except his money and he used that to be a big prick and buy a raised white truck. wtf. why would i ever date someone like that!?!?!?!?! SEX!!!!! THats why. And really at he time, he didnt seem so bad because my mind was wrapped around the fact that he had a penis and i NEEDED A PENIS!)
so what if all of these guys are really ugly and gross and becuase i havent had sex in like 2months-ish, my loins are making my vision funny?
I dont want that, but really i see no hope in preventing it. I mean, well its not as if the hot doctor is goign to come knocking on my door and sweep me off my feet and onto his hips so i dont really have to prevent anything like that, but what if kyle syndrome really does strike again? I'm pretty sure JOe would tell me 'no, that guy is ugly and gross and has no personality and your not allowed to be naked with any more boys who own raised white trucks!'
but, give me a break, im not goign to listen. I mean for one i want sex and two, joe doesnt like any boys i talk to, so i wouldnt beleive him anyways (no offense joe, you know i love you/ you know thats true!)
i might just have to take my chances...and frankly, if im gonna screw someoen i should...well it would be the first time... and i hope it happens soon.