I want to go back to college...
Not go back to school, I mean don't get me wrong, furthering my education is a desirable goal, but I'm not on some quest for a piece of paper that will tell others that I went to the right classes and read the books I was told to read. I want to go back to my college days. I want to go back to the University of Missouri-Columbia (Mizzou). I want to see all the people I knew back then. College was my big turning point in life. Besides my experiences in Mexico (which molded me in an incredible way), college is where I met everyone in my life that I call my sister now. College is where I first fell in love and experienced a life outside of the boundaries set for me in KC. In high school, I was what I was told I was supposed to be. I did what was expected of me. In college, I was allowed to be myself. I was allowed to express all of the thoughts that I'd always been told no one wanted to talk about. I was stimulated by deep thinking, book reading, coffee drinking beings that were on the same path of self-discovery as I was. I found that when I returned to KC, I felt suffocated and stagnant. I didn't appreciate being in an environment of young intelligent black students ready to take action until I was away from it. It was beautiful.
The last time I walked on to my old campus, I was referred to as ma'am. An old lady at 23 (at the time). My sorority sister sent me pictures from a Kappa Alpha Psi reunion. I looked at the faces of these men that I knew before they'd become men. I saw the regal old buildings in the background and I swear I could smell the fragrant old books in the library. My heart literally ached to go back there and walk those halls. I want to hug the people that I let slip through my life in those 4 years. Just one more sunny day on the quad, reading from a book that I didn't want to read but was glad I did when I finished it. Just one more stroll downtown (which consisted of one street). One more night at the Blue Note jamming to Colony before they graduated. One more whiff of those books in the library.
The last time I walked on to my old campus, I was referred to as ma'am. An old lady at 23 (at the time). My sorority sister sent me pictures from a Kappa Alpha Psi reunion. I looked at the faces of these men that I knew before they'd become men. I saw the regal old buildings in the background and I swear I could smell the fragrant old books in the library. My heart literally ached to go back there and walk those halls. I want to hug the people that I let slip through my life in those 4 years. Just one more sunny day on the quad, reading from a book that I didn't want to read but was glad I did when I finished it. Just one more stroll downtown (which consisted of one street). One more night at the Blue Note jamming to Colony before they graduated. One more whiff of those books in the library.