Christmas Eve
Am I crazy to want to have some joy for at least these few days a year?? I don't get it. My friends are in such a down, sour mood and quite frankly if they are going to be this way, I can celebrate alone. No one has any money. Okay, neither do I, but I put together enough to have a nice dinner and a couple of presents for my child. No one has a boyfriend...AND!!! It is completely asinine to me that grown women measure their happiness by the presence of a man!! Don't get me wrong, I'd like companionship too...but damn...my life isn't a failure if I'm living it solo. I guess I'm defeating the purpose by bitching about their bitching. I've got a lot to celebrate. I've got a wonderful, happy, healthy little boy. I myself am in good health. It may not be much, but I have a job that I don't hate that puts food in out tummies. I've got a home to go to everyday. I've got a family that loves me. Everyday that I wake up is better than the last, if even in the slightest most minuscule way. Any trials I have come up against, God has seen me through, making me stronger for the next hurdle. I'm comfortable with me. Finally. For so many years I hated me. Everything about me from my hair, to my weight, to my clothes...now, I finally have some appreciation for me...all my quirks. I even embrace my faults because they give me something to better about myself. I can't say that I always like my situation, but I deal with it and try to find ways to keep myself happy. Christmas time always gives me some hope, some joy...no matter what is going on in the world (the actual world and my own little personal one). I've made it through another year and yes, I'm doing better than I was last year. I've got a new year to look forward to and try to make better than this one. I guess I should remember all this when they start their tyrades...because my Christmas is going to be merry...no matter what.