Sex Ed.
So a few days a go a friend posted some comments on facebook about the Sex Ed we almost had in our schools. After reading a number of replies I posted this:
I am going to jump in here as a parent of a 12 year old. I don't know how many of you have kids that age but those of you I know here, don't. YOU try talking to YOUR 12 year old about sex! It's tough, it embarrasses them regardless of what they know, or think they know they don't really want to talk about it with Mom and Dad. The last person most tweens and early teens want to talk about sex with is their parents. In the school they're all together and all uncomfortable they're on more even ground. 13 year olds ARE performing oral sex, don't you think they should learn about from a better source than their 15 year old boyfriend?
Kids have sex at young ages it's a fact. Some knowledge about birth control, std's, and consent are all good things and things they should know it will help them make good choices.
What I have read I support. It seams well thought out. Perhaps gender identity and such is touchy at grade three but stuff like sure is going to help the kid with 2 queer moms, or 2 queer dads. Because otherwise that kid is going to begin to feel confused, and get teased if not bullied over that kind of thing. ...
Now the government has caved to pressure from the public and it will not happen. In Kyla's school they were supposed to start some basic conversations on puberty and body changes in grade 5, why because some kids were ALREADY there! The school caved to parent pressure and didn't. In grade six they were supposed to again and also have conversations on masturbation, STI's and sexual harassment as well. Again they caved to the parents pressure. Now by the end of grade 6 the girls in class were already going through these changes, not one or two but half her class. Now I assume, and can only do that, that the girl's parents were talking to them about their bodies changes, but the rest of kids, e.g. the boys, likely weren't getting much info. Those classes would have helped offset teasing, bullying and sexual harassment as well as let girls who really weren't talked to by their parents know what was going on.
Here's a breakdown of what the government was proposing from yesterday's Star:
"It included discussion about relationships and respecting differences - where same-sex couples may be discussed - in Grade 3.
Grade 6 covers the emotional and physical changes of adolescence, and teacher discussion points include talking about how wet dreams are natural, and masturbation is something people “find pleasurable.”
In Grade 7, students learn about delaying sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and how to prevent them, including abstinence. That could spark discussion about oral sex or anal intercourse and how they too can be risky."
Here are two other relevant articles.
http://thestar.blogs.com/parentcentral/2010/04/in-defense-of-sex-ed.html
http://parentcentral.ca/parent/newsfeatures/article/623507--oral-sex-no-longer-a-big-deal-teen-girls-say
Note one of those statistics, 30% of 13 year old girls are performing oral sex, 30%! Those are grade 7 & grade 8 girls. My daughter's age in case you missed it. Now my wife and I do the best we can to keep an open and honest dialogue with her about sex and puberty but we can't cover everything. Either she'll tune us out or we'll feel nervous, or we'll misread her cues. Because make no mistake these conversations are mostly one sided, us talking and trying to read her to see that she's listening. Now if these classes had gone ahead in schools I'd know she had a second good source of info besides us. Now I don't. We'll have to keep muddling along.
It greatly upsets me to have people naysaying these classes. The best way to get our kids to make responsible safe choices is to arm them with knowledge. I'm sorry if you think they would be getting too much info in grade 6 & 7 but they need it. I was sexually active by 13 so were 20 - 25% of my friends. Yet we didn't really get any information on sexual choices until grade nine. Sure in grade 6 we got basics on puberty and body changes, something my daughter didn't get, in grade 7 & 8 stuff on masturbation wet dreams etc. But no frank talks on sex and informed choice etc. until I was in grade 9, too late by then.
Do you remember girls getting teased for their bras, being teased and bullied about masturbation, body changes etc. I sure do. These classes would have helped to offset that stuff. They would help to make our kids comfortable with their own bodies and their peers. They would have helped to make them understanding of alternative family dynamics. They would have helped them make safe choices regarding sex. They would have helped them come to grips with their sexuality.
It saddens me that they were cancelled. And it saddens me that people I know didn't think they were a good idea.
I am going to jump in here as a parent of a 12 year old. I don't know how many of you have kids that age but those of you I know here, don't. YOU try talking to YOUR 12 year old about sex! It's tough, it embarrasses them regardless of what they know, or think they know they don't really want to talk about it with Mom and Dad. The last person most tweens and early teens want to talk about sex with is their parents. In the school they're all together and all uncomfortable they're on more even ground. 13 year olds ARE performing oral sex, don't you think they should learn about from a better source than their 15 year old boyfriend?
Kids have sex at young ages it's a fact. Some knowledge about birth control, std's, and consent are all good things and things they should know it will help them make good choices.
What I have read I support. It seams well thought out. Perhaps gender identity and such is touchy at grade three but stuff like sure is going to help the kid with 2 queer moms, or 2 queer dads. Because otherwise that kid is going to begin to feel confused, and get teased if not bullied over that kind of thing. ...
Now the government has caved to pressure from the public and it will not happen. In Kyla's school they were supposed to start some basic conversations on puberty and body changes in grade 5, why because some kids were ALREADY there! The school caved to parent pressure and didn't. In grade six they were supposed to again and also have conversations on masturbation, STI's and sexual harassment as well. Again they caved to the parents pressure. Now by the end of grade 6 the girls in class were already going through these changes, not one or two but half her class. Now I assume, and can only do that, that the girl's parents were talking to them about their bodies changes, but the rest of kids, e.g. the boys, likely weren't getting much info. Those classes would have helped offset teasing, bullying and sexual harassment as well as let girls who really weren't talked to by their parents know what was going on.
Here's a breakdown of what the government was proposing from yesterday's Star:
"It included discussion about relationships and respecting differences - where same-sex couples may be discussed - in Grade 3.
Grade 6 covers the emotional and physical changes of adolescence, and teacher discussion points include talking about how wet dreams are natural, and masturbation is something people “find pleasurable.”
In Grade 7, students learn about delaying sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and how to prevent them, including abstinence. That could spark discussion about oral sex or anal intercourse and how they too can be risky."
Here are two other relevant articles.
http://thestar.blogs.com/parentcentral/2010/04/in-defense-of-sex-ed.html
http://parentcentral.ca/parent/newsfeatures/article/623507--oral-sex-no-longer-a-big-deal-teen-girls-say
Note one of those statistics, 30% of 13 year old girls are performing oral sex, 30%! Those are grade 7 & grade 8 girls. My daughter's age in case you missed it. Now my wife and I do the best we can to keep an open and honest dialogue with her about sex and puberty but we can't cover everything. Either she'll tune us out or we'll feel nervous, or we'll misread her cues. Because make no mistake these conversations are mostly one sided, us talking and trying to read her to see that she's listening. Now if these classes had gone ahead in schools I'd know she had a second good source of info besides us. Now I don't. We'll have to keep muddling along.
It greatly upsets me to have people naysaying these classes. The best way to get our kids to make responsible safe choices is to arm them with knowledge. I'm sorry if you think they would be getting too much info in grade 6 & 7 but they need it. I was sexually active by 13 so were 20 - 25% of my friends. Yet we didn't really get any information on sexual choices until grade nine. Sure in grade 6 we got basics on puberty and body changes, something my daughter didn't get, in grade 7 & 8 stuff on masturbation wet dreams etc. But no frank talks on sex and informed choice etc. until I was in grade 9, too late by then.
Do you remember girls getting teased for their bras, being teased and bullied about masturbation, body changes etc. I sure do. These classes would have helped to offset that stuff. They would help to make our kids comfortable with their own bodies and their peers. They would have helped to make them understanding of alternative family dynamics. They would have helped them make safe choices regarding sex. They would have helped them come to grips with their sexuality.
It saddens me that they were cancelled. And it saddens me that people I know didn't think they were a good idea.