Random thoughts--skip unless you really like maudlin navel gazing
Well my birthday must be approaching because the thoughts on mortality and the mark I have made on the world are starting. As my long suffering wife wombatgirl can tell you each time my birthday rolls around I start looking back over my life and wondering if I've made a mark, have I made the world any better.
Maudlin isn't it?
Also to be honest it is a bit self-indulgent, if not down right selfish. Who am I to arrogantly believe that I should matter that much?
Anyway this time round I started looking back at some of the decisions I've made. There is a popular theory that states for every choice you make there is an alternate reality/time line where the decision went the other way. (the refinement of the theory states that until you make the decision then both are alternate realities and once you make the decision the reality of the path not taken collapses into non-existence)
Anyway I've been looking back at the one easily life changing decision that I've made. In 1986 as I was getting ready to graduate from High School I was presented with a choice: I had the opportunity to attend the Coast Guard Academy. I seriously considered it, but ultimately declined.
Lately I've wondered what happened to that alternate me. He'd be getting close to 25 years in service now, barring accident/death/or doing something really stupid. Why do I think he/me would be still in the Guard? As people who know me can tell you once I become comfortable, I'm on rails and hard to get out of my ruts.
Some things I know that would be different:
1. Likely no SCA. I got involved in college while looking for a social group.
2. I would not have met and married wombatgirl
3. I wouldn't be in Kansas and would not have my whole circle of friends.
4. Far more responsibility--literally lives could be hanging on my decisions.
Anyway I've thought a bit about that me. Would I trade places with him/me? No, I wouldn't. I'm happy where I'm at and who I'm with. I can't really think I'd be happy without my wife who is my best friend and truly my One. (B5 fans you know the full weight of those words)
Anyway, likely more than you care to know about me.
Maudlin isn't it?
Also to be honest it is a bit self-indulgent, if not down right selfish. Who am I to arrogantly believe that I should matter that much?
Anyway this time round I started looking back at some of the decisions I've made. There is a popular theory that states for every choice you make there is an alternate reality/time line where the decision went the other way. (the refinement of the theory states that until you make the decision then both are alternate realities and once you make the decision the reality of the path not taken collapses into non-existence)
Anyway I've been looking back at the one easily life changing decision that I've made. In 1986 as I was getting ready to graduate from High School I was presented with a choice: I had the opportunity to attend the Coast Guard Academy. I seriously considered it, but ultimately declined.
Lately I've wondered what happened to that alternate me. He'd be getting close to 25 years in service now, barring accident/death/or doing something really stupid. Why do I think he/me would be still in the Guard? As people who know me can tell you once I become comfortable, I'm on rails and hard to get out of my ruts.
Some things I know that would be different:
1. Likely no SCA. I got involved in college while looking for a social group.
2. I would not have met and married wombatgirl
3. I wouldn't be in Kansas and would not have my whole circle of friends.
4. Far more responsibility--literally lives could be hanging on my decisions.
Anyway I've thought a bit about that me. Would I trade places with him/me? No, I wouldn't. I'm happy where I'm at and who I'm with. I can't really think I'd be happy without my wife who is my best friend and truly my One. (B5 fans you know the full weight of those words)
Anyway, likely more than you care to know about me.