This is a job for... the hair assassin!
Let's face it... From time to time, the objects of our fannish affections make ill-advised styling choices. When they merely choose an ugly hat or unfortunate yellow pants, the damage is relatively limited. But when they run around with heinous hair for weeks or months on end - well.
Sisters, I ask you: Why should we suffer Bad Idol Hair in silence? I have a better suggestion - in cases of acute need, let us pool our ressources and hire a hair assassin.
A hair assassin is a person who follows the offending idol into a dark alley, does away with the horrible hair, and impresses on the idol in question in very definite terms that he is never ever to allow such a thing to happen to his hair again... or the assassin will be BACK.
Let me show you some pictorial evidence of the dire horrors we have to combat... on just a single subject, one sparkly dancing boy by the name of Taguchi Junnosuke. But bear in mind that this is merely an example. Every single idol is an actual or potential hair transgressor.
Beware, Earthlings! It is The Attack of the Alien Worms from Outer Space!
Hair metal is alive and well in Japan:
The 80s mullet of horror:
Why wear cheap wigs when your own hair can look like one?
The poodle:
The drenched setter:
(Yes, be afraid, Junno. The hair assassin is coming for you...)
And then, of course, there are the numerous horrible bleaching transgressions.
Such as the original yellow travesty (note the bonus blue contact lenses):
The Draco Malfoy:
The orange mop, thankfully only ever seen in one set of paparazzi pics:
The punk rock durian:
To compare, some durian fruit:
The flokati rug, which Junno evidently attached to his head in an attempt to become an extraterrestrial nymphomaniac with a thing for tentacles, namely Chiana.2:
For reference, Chiana.1 (of "Farscape"):
This last horror is part of a stage costume - but that excuse seems insufficient, considering it makes Junno look like a fat angora hamster is perching on his head:
...
And this is only the tip of the iceberg. There is more. So much more.
Imagine how much good a hair assassin could do, considering some of the alternatives:
Even the blond has potential:
And now, I'd like your opinion! Which of Junno's Bad Hair Days was the most heinous transgression against the eyes of innocent fans?
Poll Junno's Bad Hair Days: The Poll
In conclusion:
I'm sure the money for the hair assassin would be well invested.
What do you think? Do you have any suggestions where the hair assassin should be dispatched? Tell me! Preferrably with evidence in form of pictures. :-)
Sisters, I ask you: Why should we suffer Bad Idol Hair in silence? I have a better suggestion - in cases of acute need, let us pool our ressources and hire a hair assassin.
A hair assassin is a person who follows the offending idol into a dark alley, does away with the horrible hair, and impresses on the idol in question in very definite terms that he is never ever to allow such a thing to happen to his hair again... or the assassin will be BACK.
Let me show you some pictorial evidence of the dire horrors we have to combat... on just a single subject, one sparkly dancing boy by the name of Taguchi Junnosuke. But bear in mind that this is merely an example. Every single idol is an actual or potential hair transgressor.
Beware, Earthlings! It is The Attack of the Alien Worms from Outer Space!
Hair metal is alive and well in Japan:
The 80s mullet of horror:
Why wear cheap wigs when your own hair can look like one?
The poodle:
The drenched setter:
(Yes, be afraid, Junno. The hair assassin is coming for you...)
And then, of course, there are the numerous horrible bleaching transgressions.
Such as the original yellow travesty (note the bonus blue contact lenses):
The Draco Malfoy:
The orange mop, thankfully only ever seen in one set of paparazzi pics:
The punk rock durian:
To compare, some durian fruit:
The flokati rug, which Junno evidently attached to his head in an attempt to become an extraterrestrial nymphomaniac with a thing for tentacles, namely Chiana.2:
For reference, Chiana.1 (of "Farscape"):
This last horror is part of a stage costume - but that excuse seems insufficient, considering it makes Junno look like a fat angora hamster is perching on his head:
...
And this is only the tip of the iceberg. There is more. So much more.
Imagine how much good a hair assassin could do, considering some of the alternatives:
Even the blond has potential:
And now, I'd like your opinion! Which of Junno's Bad Hair Days was the most heinous transgression against the eyes of innocent fans?
Poll Junno's Bad Hair Days: The Poll
In conclusion:
I'm sure the money for the hair assassin would be well invested.
What do you think? Do you have any suggestions where the hair assassin should be dispatched? Tell me! Preferrably with evidence in form of pictures. :-)