Game of Thrones: Character Conservation Status
Since Season 4 of Game of Thrones is coming up shortly:
Here's what I think about everyone's chances of survival. Spoilers only up to the last aired episode (3x10); I haven't read the books, and remain entirely unspoiled. All of this is pure speculation on my part.
Extinct.
Robb Stark.
Hah! Called it. I feel vindicated that Robb didn't get away with his bullshit. This is actually pretty much exactly the kind of thing I expected, given the people involved. It wouldn't have made sense for Lord Frey to let Robb get away with defaulting on his part of their bargain. I am not sad to see this self-righteous hypocrite go.
Robb would not have been able to stay on the throne anyway. He would have made an incredibly bad king, just as he turned out to be a pretty bad leader for his rebellion. Like his father, Robb had no talent for nation-level politics; under different circumstances, he might have been a fairly good clan leader in his remote fiefdom (though he would always have been partisan, inflexible and self-righteous). As king of a nation, however, Robb would have been an unmitigated catastrophe.
As for Robb's boring wife, she was boring, and evidently had the common sense of a young snail. Not sad to see the last of her, either. Catelyn was not boring, but she had served her narrative uses and had nothing left to do at this point.
Robb's wolf, though. His death really gave me a pang.
As an aside:
You know who I felt most sorry for in that whole wedding debacle? The "ugly" daughters of Lord Frey. At this point, the threat of having to marry one of them appears to be a kind of running gag in Westeros. Even their father gets in on the joke by threatening his new son-in-law with the horrors of the ugly daughters before revealing the real bride, to the giddy relief of everyone. Hah hah. Yeah, let's rub in some more that these neglected, cowed girls - through the great personal failure of not having been born boys and not being most men's first choice for something to stick their dick in - are completely worthless in the eyes of their father and every other asshole around. (And yes, that most definitely includes you, Robb Stark.)
I want those girls to rise up, overthrow and kill their stupid father, and rule jointly, chasing any future gold-diggers prospective husbands out of the castle with dogs at their heels.
Critically endangered.
My number one candidate for imminent death is, perhaps surprisingly:
Joffrey Barratheon.
At this point, Joffrey's death will further the plot far more than his continued existence. If Joffrey remains king, the situation at King's Landing remains static, with no major threat to the throne in immediate evidence, since Robb Stark is now dead. There will be a lot of jostling for position under Joffrey, sure, but as long as the little sadist lives, the Lannisters have things pretty well locked down.
BUT. If Joffrey dies! Oh, then everything is up in the air. The entire deck of cards will be mixed anew. There will be political chaos, at least half a dozen pretenders to the throne will pop from the woodworks, everyone will scramble like mad for position while taking cover at the same time, and nobody will know who to swear allegiance to. It would be brilliant. :-)
So, my money's on Joffrey shuffling off this mortal coil soonish. I won't miss the character, but I'll be sorry to see the last of the actor. He was having such fun as the petty little evil git. ;-)
My guess for the responsible party: Margaery Tyrell, or someone connected to the Tyrells. They have been moving into position to take over from the Lannisters, methinks. And Margaery did say that she didn't want to be a queen, she wanted to be THE Queen. I doubt she wants to get her queen on while burdened with a stupid, erratic and sadistic waste of space who constantly needs to be managed.
Tywin Lannister.
Anyone taking out Joffrey needs to take out Tywin - the real power behind Joffrey's throne - immediately prior to or at the same time as killing Joffrey. Otherwise Tywin will just declare himself regent for the next of Cersei's kids and nothing will change. Plus, now that Tywin is king in all but name, he's also reached the end of his narrative possibilities. Time for a change.
Alternate scenario: Joffrey dies, but Tywin survives and has to scramble like mad to get the next Barratheon heir to King's Landing before total chaos breaks out. If Tywin is caught outside of King's Landing, he might find himself in the position of needing to re-take the city and the throne; Tywin would be taking over Robb's role, as it were.
Alternate alternate scenario: Tywin is killed, but Joffrey survives and flounders hopelessly as everything comes apart and crashes down about his ears. Would be even more fun if Joffrey were the one to do away with Tywin, wrongly believing (perhaps manipulated by Margaery) that he can be king on his own. Of course, he can't, and soon joins Tywin in death. I consider this scenario extremely unlikely, but it'd certainly be fun.
Jorah of Mormont.
I've been expecting Jorah to die for quite a while, and it's been worse since he fell in love with Danaerys. I don't want him to die, but I fear for him because he doesn't have much of a narrative function anymore. Danaerys has acquired so many other followers and advisors that Jorah wouldn't be missed. Incidentally, Danaerys' growing entourage also makes Jorah a great target for assassins sent by people who wish to take his place as Danaerys' right hand. Or enemies may hope to cripple her bid for the throne by taking out her most trusted lieutenant.
Argh. I like Jorah, his regained morals and ideals, and his open adoration of his awesome, just and powerful Queen. I really hope he acquires a new narrative purpose instead of dying. But, yeah. Sky-high risk factor.
BTW: In purely physical terms, Jorah has always reminded me exceedingly strongly of Old Shatterhand. Makes me like him even more. Don't die, Scharlie!
Vulnerable.
Cersei Lannister.
No idea about her, to be honest. She doesn't have a real function at this moment, but I can imagine she might have one again when things shift around again. On the other hand, it's easy to see her as another victim of the Lannister Purge, with Jaime and Tyrion being the only survivors besides Cersei's younger kids. I'd be sorry to see Cersei go, because she's been a very rewarding character, due in no small part to the amazing actress.
Tyrion's Mysterious and Rather Boring Whore Shae.
Might well be up for the chopping block. A fridged lover is always a popular choice for added angst and motivation, and this woman's death would be a blow to both Tyrion and Sansa, while her continued existence doesn't seem to be very interesting. There is still that Unrevealed Mysterious Past ™, though, so maybe she's going to stick around a bit.
Lorras Tyrell.
He hasn't had anything to do for several seasons now. Either he dies, or he gets a proper new plot. I suspect the new plot is more likely, but it's a guess. His death would be pretty boring too right now, though. No real point to killing a character nobody cares about.
Apropos of nothing, does Lorras remind anyone else of Bosie, aka Lord Alfred Douglas? It may just be the way he likes to stare aesthetically off into the distance.
Theon Greyjoy.
I moved this dude up from the next-safest category out of sheer wishful thinking, because, seriously, just die already. Please. In truth, I fear he won't die even now because of the rescue mission plot his continued existence has sparked… but on the other hand, his sister can sail fiercely forth for revenge just as well as for rescue, right? Right? (I just don't want to see any more of his self-pity and whining. Argh. It seems highly unlikely the guy will grow a backbone and/or brain at this late date, and I shudder to think of the sheer volume his moaning, crying and petulant shouts of "it's not fair!!!!" will now achieve.)
At lower risk.
Granny Tyrell.
I hope she doesn't die, but strictly speaking, she isn't necessary as long as her granddaughter is there. However, since Granny is clearly the master schemer and compelling force behind House Tyrell, and House Tyrell seems poised to play a much larger role in the near future, I think her chances are good for now.
Sansa Stark.
I absolutely can't see Sansa dying, but in all truth, she hasn't done anything interesting for an entire season now. As a political pawn, she has gained even more importance now that Robb is dead, but plot-wise, she really needs some better threads. I'm thinking she will not die, though, and just hope she doesn't remain so passive and pawn-like. She showed such potential at one point - why does she have to be the boring, naïve and helpless pretty maiden in need of rescue now?
Least concern.
Margaery Tyrell.
Too interesting to die; still too much potential plot-wise. Also stands to be a very major player if she marries Joffrey before doing away with him, as I suspect is her and her granny's plan. I don't think she'll die before she takes a turn as Queen. And I look forward to watching her spread her wings. :-)
Brienne of Tarth...
... and Jaime Lannister.
These two have just gotten started! They've been slowly gaining interest, and there is no way they'll be killed off now. Too much narrative potential yet. I hope they get to develop a lot of that narrative potential together, since it's really only the combination of the two of them that made them interesting last season. I totally ship them. (And I kinda want Cersei to stick around until they get together, just so I get to see her face.)
Tyrion Lannister.
A clear author favorite, although since he's not really involved in any plots right now, he also seems a tiny bit endangered. I can't imagine him dying though, and am certain he will simply get another plot to make him more relevant again. I really hope it has nothing to do with lusting after Sansa, though. Dude, she is a child who was forced to marry you. Wash your brain out with soap.
Yara Greyjoy.
She's just revving up her plot-relevant motors, so she won't die yet. I look forward to her stirring things up, because quite unlike her brother, she seems to have brains, plenty of backbone, and serious competencies. Also, I can't imagine her whining or being self-pitying under any circumstances. She will just glare and bide her time, and then stab you in the gut and watch your face as you die. (Can you tell I like that about her?)
Alternate scenario: In theory, of course, Yara's death could be the impetus that finally spurs Theon to grow a backbone, and perhaps even take up the mantle of remotely competent leader. Given Theon's theonness, however, that seems extremely out of character. Besides, offing interesting and potential-laden Yara in favor of Theon - a millstone around the neck of any narrative - would be a plot crime.
Melisandre.
Not entirely sure about Stannis Barratheon, but the mysteriously threatening priestess of the Creepy One God will stick around for the time being because of the Creepy One God plotlines.
Safe as houses.
These characters carry important plot threads; if they were to die, that entire plot would collapse into nothing, and so I judge them to be safe as houses.
Danaerys Targaryen.
Yay! Absolutely no risk here, which is lovely, because Danaerys is awesome. I hope that incredibly annoying and off-putting sleazy guy she picked up dies post-haste, though. And I fear that she may have too many dragons for all three of them to make it indefinitely.
Jon Snow.
Argh. Boredom Boy is with us to stay. Blergh. Even his Mysterious Heritage™* is boring. As is his single facial expression.
* BTW: My money's on Jon being the son of Ned Stark's dead sister (pretty sure about her) and the mad Targaryen king (not quite as certain here, but it seems like the best bet with the limited info we have so far). I guess making him platinum blond would have been too obvious.
Bran Stark.
Mystic Boredom Boy will also be with us forever and ever, as will - I presume - his boring visions and boring signs and portents. How come the safe ones tend to be so dull?
Arya Stark.
Just become interesting again soon, please. You've been interesting before, so I know you have it in you.
Anyone I forgot? What do you think? (But remember, no spoilers in the comments! I haven't read the books and remain entirely unspoiled, and I want to stay that way.)
Poll Place your bets!
Here's what I think about everyone's chances of survival. Spoilers only up to the last aired episode (3x10); I haven't read the books, and remain entirely unspoiled. All of this is pure speculation on my part.
Extinct.
Robb Stark.
Hah! Called it. I feel vindicated that Robb didn't get away with his bullshit. This is actually pretty much exactly the kind of thing I expected, given the people involved. It wouldn't have made sense for Lord Frey to let Robb get away with defaulting on his part of their bargain. I am not sad to see this self-righteous hypocrite go.
Robb would not have been able to stay on the throne anyway. He would have made an incredibly bad king, just as he turned out to be a pretty bad leader for his rebellion. Like his father, Robb had no talent for nation-level politics; under different circumstances, he might have been a fairly good clan leader in his remote fiefdom (though he would always have been partisan, inflexible and self-righteous). As king of a nation, however, Robb would have been an unmitigated catastrophe.
As for Robb's boring wife, she was boring, and evidently had the common sense of a young snail. Not sad to see the last of her, either. Catelyn was not boring, but she had served her narrative uses and had nothing left to do at this point.
Robb's wolf, though. His death really gave me a pang.
As an aside:
You know who I felt most sorry for in that whole wedding debacle? The "ugly" daughters of Lord Frey. At this point, the threat of having to marry one of them appears to be a kind of running gag in Westeros. Even their father gets in on the joke by threatening his new son-in-law with the horrors of the ugly daughters before revealing the real bride, to the giddy relief of everyone. Hah hah. Yeah, let's rub in some more that these neglected, cowed girls - through the great personal failure of not having been born boys and not being most men's first choice for something to stick their dick in - are completely worthless in the eyes of their father and every other asshole around. (And yes, that most definitely includes you, Robb Stark.)
I want those girls to rise up, overthrow and kill their stupid father, and rule jointly, chasing any future gold-diggers prospective husbands out of the castle with dogs at their heels.
Critically endangered.
My number one candidate for imminent death is, perhaps surprisingly:
Joffrey Barratheon.
At this point, Joffrey's death will further the plot far more than his continued existence. If Joffrey remains king, the situation at King's Landing remains static, with no major threat to the throne in immediate evidence, since Robb Stark is now dead. There will be a lot of jostling for position under Joffrey, sure, but as long as the little sadist lives, the Lannisters have things pretty well locked down.
BUT. If Joffrey dies! Oh, then everything is up in the air. The entire deck of cards will be mixed anew. There will be political chaos, at least half a dozen pretenders to the throne will pop from the woodworks, everyone will scramble like mad for position while taking cover at the same time, and nobody will know who to swear allegiance to. It would be brilliant. :-)
So, my money's on Joffrey shuffling off this mortal coil soonish. I won't miss the character, but I'll be sorry to see the last of the actor. He was having such fun as the petty little evil git. ;-)
My guess for the responsible party: Margaery Tyrell, or someone connected to the Tyrells. They have been moving into position to take over from the Lannisters, methinks. And Margaery did say that she didn't want to be a queen, she wanted to be THE Queen. I doubt she wants to get her queen on while burdened with a stupid, erratic and sadistic waste of space who constantly needs to be managed.
Tywin Lannister.
Anyone taking out Joffrey needs to take out Tywin - the real power behind Joffrey's throne - immediately prior to or at the same time as killing Joffrey. Otherwise Tywin will just declare himself regent for the next of Cersei's kids and nothing will change. Plus, now that Tywin is king in all but name, he's also reached the end of his narrative possibilities. Time for a change.
Alternate scenario: Joffrey dies, but Tywin survives and has to scramble like mad to get the next Barratheon heir to King's Landing before total chaos breaks out. If Tywin is caught outside of King's Landing, he might find himself in the position of needing to re-take the city and the throne; Tywin would be taking over Robb's role, as it were.
Alternate alternate scenario: Tywin is killed, but Joffrey survives and flounders hopelessly as everything comes apart and crashes down about his ears. Would be even more fun if Joffrey were the one to do away with Tywin, wrongly believing (perhaps manipulated by Margaery) that he can be king on his own. Of course, he can't, and soon joins Tywin in death. I consider this scenario extremely unlikely, but it'd certainly be fun.
Jorah of Mormont.
I've been expecting Jorah to die for quite a while, and it's been worse since he fell in love with Danaerys. I don't want him to die, but I fear for him because he doesn't have much of a narrative function anymore. Danaerys has acquired so many other followers and advisors that Jorah wouldn't be missed. Incidentally, Danaerys' growing entourage also makes Jorah a great target for assassins sent by people who wish to take his place as Danaerys' right hand. Or enemies may hope to cripple her bid for the throne by taking out her most trusted lieutenant.
Argh. I like Jorah, his regained morals and ideals, and his open adoration of his awesome, just and powerful Queen. I really hope he acquires a new narrative purpose instead of dying. But, yeah. Sky-high risk factor.
BTW: In purely physical terms, Jorah has always reminded me exceedingly strongly of Old Shatterhand. Makes me like him even more. Don't die, Scharlie!
Vulnerable.
Cersei Lannister.
No idea about her, to be honest. She doesn't have a real function at this moment, but I can imagine she might have one again when things shift around again. On the other hand, it's easy to see her as another victim of the Lannister Purge, with Jaime and Tyrion being the only survivors besides Cersei's younger kids. I'd be sorry to see Cersei go, because she's been a very rewarding character, due in no small part to the amazing actress.
Tyrion's Mysterious and Rather Boring Whore Shae.
Might well be up for the chopping block. A fridged lover is always a popular choice for added angst and motivation, and this woman's death would be a blow to both Tyrion and Sansa, while her continued existence doesn't seem to be very interesting. There is still that Unrevealed Mysterious Past ™, though, so maybe she's going to stick around a bit.
Lorras Tyrell.
He hasn't had anything to do for several seasons now. Either he dies, or he gets a proper new plot. I suspect the new plot is more likely, but it's a guess. His death would be pretty boring too right now, though. No real point to killing a character nobody cares about.
Apropos of nothing, does Lorras remind anyone else of Bosie, aka Lord Alfred Douglas? It may just be the way he likes to stare aesthetically off into the distance.
Theon Greyjoy.
I moved this dude up from the next-safest category out of sheer wishful thinking, because, seriously, just die already. Please. In truth, I fear he won't die even now because of the rescue mission plot his continued existence has sparked… but on the other hand, his sister can sail fiercely forth for revenge just as well as for rescue, right? Right? (I just don't want to see any more of his self-pity and whining. Argh. It seems highly unlikely the guy will grow a backbone and/or brain at this late date, and I shudder to think of the sheer volume his moaning, crying and petulant shouts of "it's not fair!!!!" will now achieve.)
At lower risk.
Granny Tyrell.
I hope she doesn't die, but strictly speaking, she isn't necessary as long as her granddaughter is there. However, since Granny is clearly the master schemer and compelling force behind House Tyrell, and House Tyrell seems poised to play a much larger role in the near future, I think her chances are good for now.
Sansa Stark.
I absolutely can't see Sansa dying, but in all truth, she hasn't done anything interesting for an entire season now. As a political pawn, she has gained even more importance now that Robb is dead, but plot-wise, she really needs some better threads. I'm thinking she will not die, though, and just hope she doesn't remain so passive and pawn-like. She showed such potential at one point - why does she have to be the boring, naïve and helpless pretty maiden in need of rescue now?
Least concern.
Margaery Tyrell.
Too interesting to die; still too much potential plot-wise. Also stands to be a very major player if she marries Joffrey before doing away with him, as I suspect is her and her granny's plan. I don't think she'll die before she takes a turn as Queen. And I look forward to watching her spread her wings. :-)
Brienne of Tarth...
... and Jaime Lannister.
These two have just gotten started! They've been slowly gaining interest, and there is no way they'll be killed off now. Too much narrative potential yet. I hope they get to develop a lot of that narrative potential together, since it's really only the combination of the two of them that made them interesting last season. I totally ship them. (And I kinda want Cersei to stick around until they get together, just so I get to see her face.)
Tyrion Lannister.
A clear author favorite, although since he's not really involved in any plots right now, he also seems a tiny bit endangered. I can't imagine him dying though, and am certain he will simply get another plot to make him more relevant again. I really hope it has nothing to do with lusting after Sansa, though. Dude, she is a child who was forced to marry you. Wash your brain out with soap.
Yara Greyjoy.
She's just revving up her plot-relevant motors, so she won't die yet. I look forward to her stirring things up, because quite unlike her brother, she seems to have brains, plenty of backbone, and serious competencies. Also, I can't imagine her whining or being self-pitying under any circumstances. She will just glare and bide her time, and then stab you in the gut and watch your face as you die. (Can you tell I like that about her?)
Alternate scenario: In theory, of course, Yara's death could be the impetus that finally spurs Theon to grow a backbone, and perhaps even take up the mantle of remotely competent leader. Given Theon's theonness, however, that seems extremely out of character. Besides, offing interesting and potential-laden Yara in favor of Theon - a millstone around the neck of any narrative - would be a plot crime.
Melisandre.
Not entirely sure about Stannis Barratheon, but the mysteriously threatening priestess of the Creepy One God will stick around for the time being because of the Creepy One God plotlines.
Safe as houses.
These characters carry important plot threads; if they were to die, that entire plot would collapse into nothing, and so I judge them to be safe as houses.
Danaerys Targaryen.
Yay! Absolutely no risk here, which is lovely, because Danaerys is awesome. I hope that incredibly annoying and off-putting sleazy guy she picked up dies post-haste, though. And I fear that she may have too many dragons for all three of them to make it indefinitely.
Jon Snow.
Argh. Boredom Boy is with us to stay. Blergh. Even his Mysterious Heritage™* is boring. As is his single facial expression.
* BTW: My money's on Jon being the son of Ned Stark's dead sister (pretty sure about her) and the mad Targaryen king (not quite as certain here, but it seems like the best bet with the limited info we have so far). I guess making him platinum blond would have been too obvious.
Bran Stark.
Mystic Boredom Boy will also be with us forever and ever, as will - I presume - his boring visions and boring signs and portents. How come the safe ones tend to be so dull?
Arya Stark.
Just become interesting again soon, please. You've been interesting before, so I know you have it in you.
Anyone I forgot? What do you think? (But remember, no spoilers in the comments! I haven't read the books and remain entirely unspoiled, and I want to stay that way.)
Poll Place your bets!