Game of Yawns (3x06)
Beware: Unkind and opinionated commentary on several characters and plotlines. Spoilers up to ep 3x06 of Game of Thrones; rampant speculation, but no spoilers for future eps.
Please don't spoil me, I haven't read the books and know nothing of what will happen!
All of the Starks are boring me right now. In fact, almost all of the narrative threads are boring me right now. I was actually disappointed when nobody died again. It's high time to clear up some airtime for more interesting things, IMO.
Uninteresting Starks and Associated Characters:
Sansa Stark, please hurry up and become interesting again - this helpless, naive "maiden in distress" angle really isn't working for me. How about starting some maneuverings of your own? Doesn't that sound like it might be fun?
Arya Stark, what happened? Why are you suddenly so boring? It must be that dull plot-line you're stuck in. Le sigh. I see the creepy monotheistic magic cult is going to become yet more important, huh. I really hope it becomes more interesting first.
Rob Stark, you are a hypocrite, and I have lost all remaining respect or liking for you. You are in trouble right now because: A - you decided to break an oath you had given to an important ally because you decided marrying your bland sweety immediately, right now, this second was more important than winning a war (what, you couldn't have kept her as a mistress???), and
B - you decided to let your bone-headed kingly righteousness hang out by executing an important man who had pissed you off, instead of being pragmatic, like someone who might actually have a shot at winning this war and keeping the throne.
And now, you have the nerve to guilt-trip one of your followers into pulling your bacon out of the fire by doing what you broke an oath in refusing to do (except that he will have to do it under worse conditions)? If he doesn't marry Lord Whatshisname's daughter, the war will be lost? Wow, no, Rob. You are the one who is responsible here, you hypocrite.
You know what we call a guy who gives an oath, gets what he wanted from the person he swore the oath to, and then decides that holding up his end of the bargain is really more than can be asked of him because circumstances have changed, he's fallen in love, it's just really inconvenient now...? Certainly not a fair and trustworthy leader. But god forbid someone else break their oath to you - oh, then you are all righteous kingly rage.
I would not follow you, and I would not believe anything you said to me; you might change your mind tomorrow, if circumstances changed. You are a bad leader and an unreliable ally, and you would be a bad king. And through it all, you continue to be self-righteous and judgmental.
This kind of behavior won't get or keep you a throne. It will get you killed, though. I expect that to happen any day now, in fact. I will not be shedding a tear, believe me.
Bran Stark... *zzzzzzZZZZ* Err, never mind. I forgot what I was going to say.
Jon Snow, I'm not sure why I should care about your romance or your near-fall off the wall (or anything about you, really). It was never in doubt you were not going to die. Not that I'd care, really, but since you're carrying that narrative thread all on your own and it's clearly Important, we're certainly not going to be seeing the end of you anytime soon. Not to mention your still Unrevealed But Probably Noble Mysterious Heritage (TM) is still waiting in the wings to be all Important (Though Probably Boring) And Stuff.
Theon Greyjoy, seriously, why on earth are you still alive? You haven't been relevant since the end of last season. Watching you get tortured by Uninteresting Mysterious Dude makes me want to fall asleep. If it absolutely had to happen, one ep would have been plenty. We've been successfully introduced to Whatshisface, although so far he hasn't shown signs of being interesting either, so just die already, okay? You're taking up airtime.
Actually Interesting Characters:
The Tyrell women. They are actually going to give the Lannisters a serious run for their money - I love how even Cersei realizes that her sadistic little idiot of a son doesn't stand a chance against Margaery, and the idiot in question still has no idea. I love how the Tyrell grandmother has steel balls that are twice the size of Tywin Lannister's, and how both of them know it. You go, Tyrell girls, you are awesome. Don't you die on me.
Brienne and Jaime surprised me by becoming vaguely interesting an ep or two back, and by then developing a true rapport, and by steadily growing more interesting still. At this point I am starting to hope for an eventual romance between the two of them, because it would be a thousand kinds of complicated and impossible and weird, and feel so wrong (and yet so right!) for both of them. It would just be a million shades of fascinating and awesome. Also, as an added benefit, imagine Cersei's face.
Daenerys is great right now, what with her awesome growing queenliness, her awesome growing dragons, and her awesome growing entourage of star-struck, formerly disillusioned older men. I hope Sir Jorah doesn't die, although I fear he will; I love watching him stare at Daenerys all starry-eyed and "OMG look at the Khaleesi, she is so Regal and Awe-Inspiring, OMG My Queen My Queen YES OMG I have lost the ability to even". That other dude seems a little shifty, BTW. I hope he doesnt stab Jorah and try to assassinate Daenerys or something.
So, how interested are you right now? Here, have a poll. :-)
Poll The Game of Thrones Fascination Barometer