summer
I am in Virginia this month at my grandmother's house. I am working 40 hrs per week at a 24-hr convenience store because that is the best offer I could get for my brief stint in the area. But hey, I'm making more money than ever before and I meet crazy people every day, so it's fun. The only thing is I am working the night shift this week and cannot go to sleep during today's daylit hours because it is too beautiful outside. I have gone outside several times to "get it out of my system" and promise myself that I will try to sleep, but I just can't. My mind is racing. I couldn't go play golf w/my whole family b/c they wanted me to rest, but here I am stuck with my thoughts. And when we are left to our own thoughts, sometimes they lead us down a road we didn't want to travel. This one is a downhill journey that I need a friend or a lover to give me a smile as a boost. Instead I am listening to kooky French music (Amadou & Mariam).
I miss Andy so much. I have no idea when's the next time I'll get to see him but I bought a new dress for the occasion yesterday, just in case. It's always good to be prepared. And I keep envisioning this meeting. His letters are so full of happy thoughts and love. I need to see him in person to discuss what to make of this. I thought he didn't want a long-distance thing. I thought we were over. But he always says "I love you" on the phone or in voice mails, signs his letters with love, etc. What's a girl to do?
I also don't know what to make of this transferring thing. I am scared to apply to UVA. I don't want to leave Centenary anymore. I have so much ambition for this year. But I am scared for my grandmother...What if (God forbid) she passes away while I'm at school and I can't afford to go to her funeral? Oh God the tears won't stop...
I miss Andy so much. I have no idea when's the next time I'll get to see him but I bought a new dress for the occasion yesterday, just in case. It's always good to be prepared. And I keep envisioning this meeting. His letters are so full of happy thoughts and love. I need to see him in person to discuss what to make of this. I thought he didn't want a long-distance thing. I thought we were over. But he always says "I love you" on the phone or in voice mails, signs his letters with love, etc. What's a girl to do?
I also don't know what to make of this transferring thing. I am scared to apply to UVA. I don't want to leave Centenary anymore. I have so much ambition for this year. But I am scared for my grandmother...What if (God forbid) she passes away while I'm at school and I can't afford to go to her funeral? Oh God the tears won't stop...