First of all, I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Man, I've been there and in some respects, I'm there again now. Well, except no one's being an ass to me. Everyone's pretty much supporting, but there's just an impossible amount of work to so and only me to do it and... Yeah, I'll have to work tomorrow. Yuck.
ANYWAY, this isn't about me and you asked for advice. It could just be me and/or the situations I've been in but... I've never had HR do anything but make things worse. It *shouldn't* be that way and sometimes it's better in a larger organization, but again, my experiences haven't been good. Twice, I've been let go after speaking of my concerns to HR.
Here's the deal. Generally speaking, if you talk to them, they *have* to take action. You can't just use them to vent and in the end decide not to pursue a solution. They can't do that and I think it's part of some universal HR policy. In my case, I refused to put my name to the complaint the second time, but it still came back to bite me in the ass after the Director who was behind HR changes died unexpectedly.
So, I urge caution. If you have great co-workers, it might just be best to vent among yourselves and leave it at that.
Hopefully someone else will have more useful suggestions, because I feel like it's crappy advice to avoid speaking to HR. Just... it's never worked out well for me. It's not fair and it sucks, but it is what it is.
I know exactly what you mean about HR. They are required to act, and in many cases I suppose it would be a real shame if that weren't so. I don't think I'll go that route until I'm absolutely sure it was what I wanted to do. Right now, I'm at more of an informal point; I've talked to the section head, he of course did nothing ("I know she's a poor manager, she's a fantastic chemist, tho"), which makes him horrendously negligent (not to mention setting himself up for one helluva lawsuit if/when someone says enough is enough).
I have heard similar stories about people being let go after taking action. I'm sorry it's happened twice for you, what a horrible situation. Is this not the most ridiculous irony? I mean, what is one to do? It tears me up to let someone walk all over me like that. And the worst part: it's not just me. I work with the nicest women ever, she happens to be from Eastern Europe and she, naturally, has an accent. The boss doesn't like her bc she can't understand her, and she's constantly telling her that if she can't understand English she shouldn't be working there. I don't know, it makes me so upset bc if there is one person deserving of a better life than the one she left behind, it's this woman (and she's not at all difficult to understand, you just have to listen a little closer).
Part of me knows I'd likely make things more complicated and possibly even worse, but the other part? Well it's sort of loud and idealistic. Idk, I'm having trouble reconciling the two.
Hah, maybe one day I'll have the guts to call her on her behavior. It's happened before by another employee and she doesn't bother them anymore. She's kind of unpredictable and very scary, and sometimes I'm not sure where exactly the line that I belong behind is, so I always chicken out.
*Sighs* I don't think there's a good solution, but I thought maybe bouncing off someone else might help.
It has. Thank you thank you thank you. Sometimes it's as simple as that. :) *hugs*
Yeah, I've seen situations where simply pushing back a bit sometimes works. Unfortunately, I let things go too long and then I'm not terribly controlled. Which is... bad. Well and I did it right once, setting out my response to unfair criticism in writing and backed up with facts.
Part of my problem is that I'll practically kill myself to excel - work at home and on weekends. But it's usually not appreciated and sets me up to be taken advantage of. Then I get resentful and angry just as the stress gets bigger. I'm hoping I can roll back from that in this job.
I'm sorry for your friend with the accent. The sentiment towards non-Americans is pretty high right now, so I can sympathize. A couple of my best working experiences have been in very culturally diverse environments. At one time, I worked with an Indian woman whose marriage had been arranged. It was really enlightening to be able to speak with her about something that we Americans find mystifying and odd. She and her husband had emigrated to the US and she was actually quite happy to dispel some of our ideas about arranged marriage. She loved her husband very much and felt that her family made a wise choice for her. She had no illusions that their daughters would stand for it, however. And that was okay with her too.
Just be a good friend to your co-worker and give her the opportunity to vent. Like you, I tend to get more outraged over someone else's poor treatment than my own.
...it's usually not appreciated and sets me up to be taken advantage of. Yes, I can understand your frustration. I always feel like a hamster on a wheel, all work and no pay off. I guess in the end what matters is you got the job done and eventually *someone* will notice.
I think diversity is one of those words that's maybe used too much that people tend to tune it out when it's talked about. But it really is important and I've always enjoyed environments in which it was encouraged and cultivated, not demonized or punished. The woman with an arranged marriage is a perfect example. In some ways Americans' egos get in the way of recognizing significant differences in the world. Moreover, they can't understand that it's okay, that someone can be happy in what they perceive as a totally bizarre situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm a born and raised American and proud of it, but seriously people, there is more than one way to live. I think some people just can't accept it and ruin things with the "you're in America, speak English" mentality.
I wish you the best of luck! And the very same to you. Don't work too hard! Or at least take a break (thank god for fanfiction and LJ, eh?).
ANYWAY, this isn't about me and you asked for advice. It could just be me and/or the situations I've been in but... I've never had HR do anything but make things worse. It *shouldn't* be that way and sometimes it's better in a larger organization, but again, my experiences haven't been good. Twice, I've been let go after speaking of my concerns to HR.
Here's the deal. Generally speaking, if you talk to them, they *have* to take action. You can't just use them to vent and in the end decide not to pursue a solution. They can't do that and I think it's part of some universal HR policy. In my case, I refused to put my name to the complaint the second time, but it still came back to bite me in the ass after the Director who was behind HR changes died unexpectedly.
So, I urge caution. If you have great co-workers, it might just be best to vent among yourselves and leave it at that.
Hopefully someone else will have more useful suggestions, because I feel like it's crappy advice to avoid speaking to HR. Just... it's never worked out well for me. It's not fair and it sucks, but it is what it is.
Reply
I have heard similar stories about people being let go after taking action. I'm sorry it's happened twice for you, what a horrible situation. Is this not the most ridiculous irony? I mean, what is one to do? It tears me up to let someone walk all over me like that. And the worst part: it's not just me. I work with the nicest women ever, she happens to be from Eastern Europe and she, naturally, has an accent. The boss doesn't like her bc she can't understand her, and she's constantly telling her that if she can't understand English she shouldn't be working there. I don't know, it makes me so upset bc if there is one person deserving of a better life than the one she left behind, it's this woman (and she's not at all difficult to understand, you just have to listen a little closer).
Part of me knows I'd likely make things more complicated and possibly even worse, but the other part? Well it's sort of loud and idealistic. Idk, I'm having trouble reconciling the two.
Hah, maybe one day I'll have the guts to call her on her behavior. It's happened before by another employee and she doesn't bother them anymore. She's kind of unpredictable and very scary, and sometimes I'm not sure where exactly the line that I belong behind is, so I always chicken out.
*Sighs* I don't think there's a good solution, but I thought maybe bouncing off someone else might help.
It has. Thank you thank you thank you. Sometimes it's as simple as that. :) *hugs*
Reply
Part of my problem is that I'll practically kill myself to excel - work at home and on weekends. But it's usually not appreciated and sets me up to be taken advantage of. Then I get resentful and angry just as the stress gets bigger. I'm hoping I can roll back from that in this job.
I'm sorry for your friend with the accent. The sentiment towards non-Americans is pretty high right now, so I can sympathize. A couple of my best working experiences have been in very culturally diverse environments. At one time, I worked with an Indian woman whose marriage had been arranged. It was really enlightening to be able to speak with her about something that we Americans find mystifying and odd. She and her husband had emigrated to the US and she was actually quite happy to dispel some of our ideas about arranged marriage. She loved her husband very much and felt that her family made a wise choice for her. She had no illusions that their daughters would stand for it, however. And that was okay with her too.
Just be a good friend to your co-worker and give her the opportunity to vent. Like you, I tend to get more outraged over someone else's poor treatment than my own.
I wish you the best of luck!
Reply
I think diversity is one of those words that's maybe used too much that people tend to tune it out when it's talked about. But it really is important and I've always enjoyed environments in which it was encouraged and cultivated, not demonized or punished. The woman with an arranged marriage is a perfect example. In some ways Americans' egos get in the way of recognizing significant differences in the world. Moreover, they can't understand that it's okay, that someone can be happy in what they perceive as a totally bizarre situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm a born and raised American and proud of it, but seriously people, there is more than one way to live. I think some people just can't accept it and ruin things with the "you're in America, speak English" mentality.
I wish you the best of luck! And the very same to you. Don't work too hard! Or at least take a break (thank god for fanfiction and LJ, eh?).
Thanks again, I really do appreciate it. :)
Reply
Leave a comment