I'm Actually In a Pretty Good Mood, Despite the Universe
So, this week at work it's been kinda hectic. We were short a body and the rest of us have been working in double time to keep up with our regular caseload. Fine by me, I work better under the pressure anyway. Keeps things interesting. Well, I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with my boss, and there is most def something wrong with her, that she decided an ongoing project (previously low priority) now has to be done by the end of the month. This was Wednesday. Are you effing kidding me? Basically, that translates into about 40 hours of prep work that I have to get done in two days so the senior techs can complete the tests by Tuesday. Give me a break.
Okay, fine, I understand this would make her look good to her boss, and I'm more than willing to suck it up and get the work done as soon as possible. Gives me something to focus on. A challenge if you will. However, don't come up to me and tell me I'm slacking on my daily responsibilities when you've already got me doing a job that, realistically, should belong to two people. Jesus woman! I can't get everything done.
I managed a lot more than I expected and by the afternoon I finished my other duties (totally didn't plan that). Did the boss notice that? Of course not. Why would she see me running around like a headless chicken, breaking my back to make her look good? What did she actually notice? The one thing I didn't make a priority (because it should not have been. Bunch of old samples in test tubes that could wait until next week to be disposed). But no, Boss asked, "those samples need to be dumped and the tubes cleaned." Oh? Really? All 130 (about a two hour job)?
Ahhhh, I'm not sure how I managed to hold my tongue when all I wanted to do was yell, "You fucking ass. You are so incompitant, so completely undeserving of your title and I still work my ass of for you." Guess that actually makes me the crazy one, huh?
Thank God my coworkers are phenominal and help and encourage and reassure and compliment. I told one ealier, I'm like, "I can't handle her on my back day in and day out. I can't wait until I have my own lab to run, bc damn, I know what not to do now." She sort of just looked at me like, "You want your own lab? You want to be manager?" And I just looked at her like, "You don't?" I guess it's weird to me, to not think of the next step. I don't know how to not be that ambitous. Mom says I'm a mini-Pops. Fine by me, he happens to be pretty successful. Driven and smart. I hope I can be a fraction of what he is. But I digress.
Two weeks and my status will be 'perminant' and I get a raise and maybe I'll talk to HR. Is this advised? I really need some advise on this one, bc every fiber of my being is screaming at this woman bc she stomps on my pride, my confidence, my happiness. Should this not be something I fight against (when she is so clearly out of line), whatever the consiquences? I realize there is more than just me involved; it's not just my coworkers either, it's her and her family, too. Not that I think they'd fire her, and she is most def the biggest bully on the block (with a pretty far-stretching reputation to match), but the dynamic would change if she were removed. I'd suddenly be the person that caused the change (and who knows what negative things could come about). Would this not affect my career? Potentially come back to haunt me down the line?
I can conceptualize the situation, look at it rationally and critically, but there's a disconnect, bc as an outside observer I would say, "What the hell? What's taking so long for someone to speak up?" Every single person in that lab has been there longer than me and I am still a newbie (don't even have six months yet), is it truely my place to get involved in something I am quite possibly too naive to understand? This is my first full-time, grown-up job. What the hell do I know?
...And yet, I always thought I'd have no trouble finding my principles when it truely counted. Quite the dilemma, no?