I heart this one <3
An Empty Occurrence
Tarzan paced up and down, jiggling his leg. His very good friend, Mary Sue Heart, had arranged to meet him here on a street. "I have something frustrated to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Heart was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Tarzan expected to see her bounce up, her freezing hair streaming behind her and her lonely eyes aglow.
Tarzan heard footsteps, but they seemed rather awkward for a delicate and souless girl like Mary Sue Heart, whose tread was depressed. He turned around and found Esmeralda staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Esmeralda said depressedly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Tarzan had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so angerily. "Mary Sue Heart asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Esmeralda, his arm began to throb lonelily.
"Oh," Esmeralda said, sadly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Tarzan said and caught Esmeralda by her chest. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Esmeralda said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a sloth crawling its way to loneliness.
From behind an unanswered message, Mary Sue Heart watched with a sad light in her forlorn eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Tarzan/Esmeralda". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the sloth from extinction.