HOLY CRAP ITS HAPPENING IM POSTING THE FLYING PIGS ARE COMING RUN !!!!!!!!
Ok, now that THAT'S our of the way.
I am in need of some advice. I find myself in a situation that I am unable, with all of my efforts, to make any sense of and I am therefore throwing myself on the mercy of the courts, in a manner of speaking. Not really sure how best to explain the situation, so random stream of concsiousness (i dont know how to spell this, so sue me, im not looking it up) time, be prepared.
Been single for a while now. Kind of enjoying the whole freedom to do what I want thing. Met this girl at work. Was aware somewhere in the back of my head that she might like me in a more than friends kind of way. She's attractive, and interesting, but not what I was looking for. She is a bit too, innocent i guess is the best word although it doesnt really work, for me. I, in my head at least, am not really wanting to start anything with anyone. That being said, we went out for a drink after work the other night as we were both kind of stressed out and needed a beer to unwind. I thought, friend thing, no problem.
We got to the bar at around 10:30. We left at 2:30. I drank 3 pints, in around 4 hours. Anyone who has been to a bar with me before knows that is pretty low. We had been talking, and I told her EVERYTHING. I don't open up to people, im not good at it, i dont like it, and it always takes a massive amount of effort to not feel like an idiot while talking honestly with someone. It was easy, and I didnt really know it had happened until after. It was past subway time, so she crashed at my place. I took the couch. All the while, my brain is screaming at me that I am not supposed to be interested in this girl. But I am. We work together. That, at least in my head, is a problem.
The problem is that I do not feel confident in my ability to not fuck this up, if in fact it actually turns into to anything. Im not sure if, as a rational person, I should ALLOW it to turn into anything. But i havent felt this comfortable with anyone in, well, ever i think. That probably made no sense whatsoever, but there it is.....
I am in need of some advice. I find myself in a situation that I am unable, with all of my efforts, to make any sense of and I am therefore throwing myself on the mercy of the courts, in a manner of speaking. Not really sure how best to explain the situation, so random stream of concsiousness (i dont know how to spell this, so sue me, im not looking it up) time, be prepared.
Been single for a while now. Kind of enjoying the whole freedom to do what I want thing. Met this girl at work. Was aware somewhere in the back of my head that she might like me in a more than friends kind of way. She's attractive, and interesting, but not what I was looking for. She is a bit too, innocent i guess is the best word although it doesnt really work, for me. I, in my head at least, am not really wanting to start anything with anyone. That being said, we went out for a drink after work the other night as we were both kind of stressed out and needed a beer to unwind. I thought, friend thing, no problem.
We got to the bar at around 10:30. We left at 2:30. I drank 3 pints, in around 4 hours. Anyone who has been to a bar with me before knows that is pretty low. We had been talking, and I told her EVERYTHING. I don't open up to people, im not good at it, i dont like it, and it always takes a massive amount of effort to not feel like an idiot while talking honestly with someone. It was easy, and I didnt really know it had happened until after. It was past subway time, so she crashed at my place. I took the couch. All the while, my brain is screaming at me that I am not supposed to be interested in this girl. But I am. We work together. That, at least in my head, is a problem.
The problem is that I do not feel confident in my ability to not fuck this up, if in fact it actually turns into to anything. Im not sure if, as a rational person, I should ALLOW it to turn into anything. But i havent felt this comfortable with anyone in, well, ever i think. That probably made no sense whatsoever, but there it is.....