Yeah, I'm going to start this again like I used to.
I've been reading through my old posts and it's kind of exciting. I get to relive old memories and I start to feel how I did when I posted them. Then I realized I've posted like, twice since I got married. (Maybe a little more, but not much!) And that makes me kind of sad. I have a year and a half in my memory, but not anywhere on paper. Yeah, I have a bunch of pictures, and pictures are great; but words let me re-live it.I have also come to the conclusion that while I am going to post more often if only for my future self's sake, they are not going to be nearly as exciting as my old posts. Something about becoming a stay-at-home-Mom a million miles from her cool, hip and trendy buddies seems to take the exciting stuff right out of your balloon. But it's replaced with different kinds of excitement. Like when Everett started saying "Momma", or when he got his first tooth, or when he rolled over for the first time. It's weird, but it's a fun kind of excitement in a way I'm not sure if even I understand. Everett makes me laugh a lot. He does funny things, or makes a funny face, or laughs and laughs when I tickle him. And it just radiates through me. He brings so much joy to my life; so much that it seems quite impossible. I still have longings for "the good 'ole days", but I wouldn't give up what I have now for them. (No matter how much fun they were. And they were a lot of fucking fun!) Little things spark that knowledge in me. For instance, I went out to lunch with a couple of girlfriends the other day. (One is married, the other is dating a guy.) And my friend was complaining and analyzing the crap her boyfriend was saying and doing. My other friend and I were trying to help her figure it out. But I can to the realization, as much fun as I had, I do NOT miss those days. Trying to analyze every little word, or gesture. It's exhausting. And while I can not predict the future, it's nice to know I have stability in my relationship. I love my husband with all my stuffings, and he loves me back just as much. I don't have to figure out his nuances, they are what they are and I know them all. It's pretty nice.